


Wrapped In An Angel’s Wings

by TerryAnne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adult Baby Dean Winchester, Age Play, Age Play Caregiver Castiel (Supernatural), Age Play Caregiver Gabriel (Supernatural), Age Play Little Dean Winchester, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe, Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Angst with a Happy Ending, Babbling, Babies, Baby Dean Winchester, Bed-Wetting, Big Brother Sam, Blankets, Caregiver!Cas, Caretaking, Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Cas, Daddy Castiel, Diapers, Domestic Fluff, Embarrassed Dean Winchester, Eventual Fluff, Family, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Little!Dean, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Non-Sexual Age Play, One Big Happy Family, Pacifier - Freeform, Pet Names, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Protective Sam Winchester, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Stuffed Toys, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wetting, Whump, bottles, caregiver!Sam, stuffed animals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 61,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23456803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerryAnne/pseuds/TerryAnne
Summary: Dean has spent his whole life pretending to be a Neutral. Now that the Apocalypse is over, Dean has struck out on his own, leaving Gabriel and Cas in charge of the bunker, and doing his best to get by on his own in order to let Sammy get the life, and the Little that he deserves. What happens when Dean’s best isn’t good enough, and his Little side falls through?
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel & Sam Winchester, Gabriel & Dean Winchester, Gabriel & Sam Winchester
Comments: 304
Kudos: 538





	1. A New Beginning Doesn’t Come Easy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SailorChibi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Begins

Dean stared out of the front windshield of the Impala with an intensity no ordinary person could hope to muster. Heading towards a small town in Oklahoma, the drive was long and tiresome, but Dean knew he wouldn't sleep anyway, and decided it would be best if he just drove it all in one day.

Hunts nowadays for Dean were always difficult and dangerous, no matter how small or simple they should've been. He was once told never to hunt alone, but Dean was confident he could take care of himself. Besides, it's not like he had another choice at this point, with Sammy off who knows where trying to chase down his apple pie life. And if Dean couldn't take care of himself like he thought he could, well, according to Dean, it wouldn't matter anyway. It's not exactly like his presence on Earth was precisely needed or welcomed.

The drive was tiring and boring. Even Led Zeppelin seemed to be annoying Dean tonight, so he drove with only the rumbles of Baby to stave off the silence that threatened to swallow him whole. Anxiety and a tense sense of dread and trepidation kept him alert, the adrenaline a familiar and welcome sensation at this point.

However, once a person reaches a certain point of tolerance and exhaustion, the adrenaline loses its kick and starts to give way to your body's pressing desire for rest. The rumbling vibrations of the car began to lull Dean into a false and easily recognizable sense of security, and he found himself fighting against the tiredness that washed over him, making his bones ache.

As the dark, asphalt road stretched before Dean, he felt his brain begin to go fuzzy in a way he had not felt in a very, very long time, having only experienced it a few times in his entire life. With a muttered curse, he shook his head violently, kicking himself for not restocking his suppressants along on what he thought would be a milk-run case.

Usually, with such an in and out job, he’d be able to hold off of buying his suppressants and get them later, when it was safe, but when a case took longer, it was always better to have them on hand, however dangerous and inconvenient it may prove to be because there is nothing more dangerous and inconvenient than suddenly turning into a baby when being attacked by any manner of ravenous creature. As far as Dean could tell, this case was going to take far longer than he had originally anticipated, and if his stupid instincts were gonna be a problem, then this case may very well be more than a big deal.

Dean Winchester, loathe as he was to admit it to himself, much less anyone else, was classified as a Little on the day of his eighteenth birthday. His father and mentor, John, needless to say, had not been thrilled with that particular piece of news. Immediately, John had thrust a bottle of what was then an easily accessible suppressant in his face and growled, “You’re a Neutral, ‘ya hear?” Dean has never spoken about it again.

Things had only worsened when Sammy was been classified as a Caregiver a few years later, John’s least favorite of the Dominant Classes. The presence of a CG in Dean’s house had forced him to double his dosage and unfortunately forced Dean into a collection of uncomfortable, unconventional, and dishonest situations. Luckily, however, Dean was never found out.

For years, Dean denied the words that had been on the letter that came in the mail all those years ago. Why didn’t anyone come asking about the well-being of a Little with no registered CG, you ask? Well, back in those days, laws protecting the submissive classes were much laxer than the rules that there were now, so no one came knocking when Dean didn't register with a Caregiver when he was younger.

Of course, as the years passed, Bleeding Hearts and people of that nature realized that Submissive Classes were particularly easy to exploit or hurt, and took significant action to change that. The Submissives Protection Act (including those of the Submissive Class, like Betas, Subs, and most importantly, Littles) offered strict legal protection to registered SCs, from abuse or neglect. Nowadays, it would've been impossible to avoid immediate registration or proof of proper caretaking after receiving his letter.

Dean avoided all of the government's hassles of needing to find a Caregiver by pretending to be Neutral. With the help of practice, illegal suppressants, and narcotics, Dean kept his true classification, a Little around the age of 16-18 months, a secret from everyone, Sammy included.

Besides, who would want a Little, especially a baby, on a case? Or even as a hunter at all? If there's one thing Dean knew about Caregivers, as he was very familiar with three himself, it's that they would never let a Little out on the field. And nor should they! They're a liability, a big one, and no one has time for liabilities on a case.

Luckily, Dean had no real idea of what it was like to be a Little. Years of acting like a Neutral had all but stamped out his “younger preferences”. He had denied that part of himself so long it was just habit at this point. If he was brave enough to admit it (which he was not), Dean was afraid of being a Little.

Dean had always valued his dignity, to a near-obsessive and harmful extent. And though he knew (hoped) that Gabriel, Cas, and Sammy wouldn't judge him no matter how old or young he acted, he was too proud and afraid of their reaction to test that theory.

Cas, Sam, and Gabe, though they aren't in any kind of romantic relationship, agreed that if anyone of them ever found a Little they fell in love with, they would take care of them together. Dean never understood what chick flick crap those sentimental fools were on about, but he did remember the pang of hurt that passed through him at the thought of the three of them getting a Little.

He knew it was a ridiculous feeling. A selfish, dare he say it, _childish_ feeling that he despised to his very core. But he couldn’t help the jolt of pain that ran through him every time they discussed what their future Little would look, act, or dress like while he sulked awkwardly on the sidelines, offering muted encouragement and forced smiles anytime they tried to include him in the conversation.

They offered to let him help, the wonderful souls that they were. "You May be a Neutral, but that doesn't make you incompetent when it comes to kids." Sam would always say anytime he claimed he didn’t know how to handle a Little or complained that he wasn’t a CG like them. “Come on, you would have fun!” They’d refute. Dean refused every time, brushing off the idea immediately.

Dean knew without a shadow of a doubt in his mind that he could never sit there and watch them dote on another Little, much less do his part to try and care for one! The thought alone made his foot push just a little harder on the gas of the already racing Impala to attempt to outrun his thoughts.

The haze that had begun to settle over Dean's mind thickened dangerously and Dean knew that at this point, it was risky, stupid, and pointless to try driving through the night in his rapidly worsening condition. He glanced down at the clock on his dash with a grimace, the red numbers glaring brightly at him with a grim clarity. The sun would be rising soon. If he wanted any valid chance at sleeping these stupid hormones off, he’d have to stop as soon as possible.

After a couple more minutes of driving, a fuzzy blur began to come into his vision, growing clearer as the Impala approached. Glancing off the road, Dean spotted an old, run-down motel, worn and ugly just like thousands of others he and Sam had crashed in over the years.

Blearily, he pulled in as soon as it came into view, struggling to keep his loose grasp on his control intact. Dean knew that once he got a good night, or, at this point, morning’s rest, the urge to slip would fade until it was weak enough he could ignore it. Nonetheless, he found it quite annoying as his voice slurred and vision blurred like he was drunk when he paid for and eventually reached his room.

Somehow, after fumbling with the clunky, scratched up keys of the motel, Dean managed to stumble into the room, one of his overnight bags clutched tightly in his left hand. With a huff, he carelessly tossed his bag on the floor by the queen-sized bed.

The motel wasn't awful, he supposed as he gave it a quick once-over, though it also wasn't great, and he groaned in annoyance as he heard the slight echo of the room next door. Quickly, with the sloppy desperation of a runner with the finish line in his sights, Dean salted the doors and windows, feeling like he could keel over and die at any second. Honestly, at that point, he felt it would be a relief.

Dean groaned slightly as the fuzzy feeling gave way to a slight pounding in his skull, warning him of an oncoming headache. In a daze, Dean forced his aching body into the shower, finally able to shock a little sense into himself and ward off the headspace just enough to continue to function.

Steam from the nearly scalding water fogged up the room, and it became difficult to tell what fog was from the steam and what was from Dean's thoughts. Grabbing onto the shower handle for support, Dean managed to clean himself off, feeling an indescribable sense of relief as the warm water cleaned not only his skin but also seemed to wash away all of his lingering trauma and anxiety for the time being.

After his shower, Dean angrily glared out of the window as he stumbled to his bed, seeing the sky just beginning to lighten. With a huff, he tugged the blinds closed, grateful as the room was once again bathed in darkness, excluding the soft yellow light from the lamp on his bedside table. Pulling on only a pair of pajama pants and throwing his towel haphazardly over his bag, Dean flopped into bed, cuddling into the covers as best as he possibly could with his dwindling energy supply, and fell almost immediately into a fitful sleep.

**********

Agony ripped through Dean, snaking through his veins like acid eating away at his veins. He couldn't breathe, his lungs struggling to pull in air as a weight akin to a boulder settled itself firmly on his clavicle. His legs were bound with some kind of nylon rope, and he felt warm, wet blood dripping down them, both itchingly uncomfortable and bone-chillingly terrifying. His world was a dark void, and no matter how much he tried to look around, to open his eyes, to fight, to call for help, he couldn't. His body was unresponsive.

That was until he felt the unmistakable sensation of a knife being shoved through his stomach only to meet and quickly shatter his vertebrae.

"DEAN!" A shout, worried, gravelly, and very familiar, pulled Dean from his nightmare.

With a gasp, Dean shot into a sitting position, eyes still closed as he fought off the last remnants of the nightmare. Dean slowly and carefully peeled open his eyes to see Castiel standing by his bed, his eyes glowing the strange yellow that most DC's (Dominant Classes, such as Alphas, Doms, or Caregivers) eyes glowed when they were in their designated headspace. Dean realized and registered instantly that whatever Cas saw Dean doing in his sleep must have really scared him if it caused his instincts to flare up for someone who he believed to be Neutral in every sense of the word. 

"Cas? Cas, is that you?" Dean asked, his voice quivering and thick with tears, much to his dismay and obvious discomfort.

Quickly, Dean cleared his throat, trying to shove to the panic that threatened to choke him. He could feel his Little side pushing relentlessly at him in the presence of a Caregiver, especially one he cared so deeply for and who cared so deeply for him, but Dean swallowed down that urge and his tears as best as he could, feeling a stubborn determination bloom through the panic clouding his thoughts.

"Dean, oh, thank goodness. Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm here. I'm here. You're okay." Cas's voice was soft and gentle, oozing comfort and love and concern in every word.

One common habit of Caregivers, especially in their headspace, is to speak like their talking to a child, gently, and with plenty of praises, pet names, assurances, and repetition. Most of the time, as far as his three CG companions had informed him, it wasn't necessarily on purpose, or even always to Littles. It was just second nature to them, and anytime they sensed or smelled fear on someone else, they would automatically slip easily into that mindset. Dean had often seen his brother and his best friend talk this way to a shocked victim or a scared child, but rarely did they speak to him this way, even if he was particularly distressed, probably to avoid emasculating him.

"Cas..." was all Dean managed to get out before he began shaking, the terror and trauma of his nightmare setting in, to replace the shock of waking up and quickly eating away at his sudden burst of useless determination. Hot, fat tears slipped down his cheek without stopping, causing Dean to grimace in humiliation and anger as he fought vehemently against his headspace.

"Oh, honey, come here. It's okay; it's okay to cry." There was no trace of a lie anywhere in his tone.

With these words, Cas pulled Dean into a very warm, and very comfortable, yet also quite awkward hug ~~for Dean~~. As much as Dean wanted to melt into Cas's warm, accepting embrace, and ignore his own awkwardness and self-hatred, The overwhelming fear and self-delusion plaguing his thoughts, as mentioned above, kept him from doing so. This, of course, led to him sitting tensely in his friend's arms, his face hot with tears and mortification.

Cas, however, seemed mostly unbothered, as he usually was when confronted with human customs and social expectations. Ignoring Dean's tense and uncomfortable posture and instead gently running his hand in little circles on the small of his back. Dean mentally thanked Chuck for Castiel's inherent inability to notice or care about such niceties as he nuzzled his nose into Cas's neck, trying to get his erratic breathing and rapid heart rate under control before he really started to panic.

As he began to relax into Cas's arms, Dean started to feel a flicker of real comfort and warmth, which was odd, considering he was almost definitely sure he was having a minor panic attack. He became vaguely aware of Cas rubbing his back and muttering unintelligible nonsense, cooing softly as he cuddled into Dean. And then, the oddest realization caused Dean to snap back in horrible embarrassment, every muscle in his body going as rigid as a plank of wood.

Cas was rocking him. Like a child. Like a baby.

As Dean shot back, he looked into his friend's eyes, still glowing a bright amber-yellow, implying Cas was still pretty deep in his headspace. To Dean's immense relief, Cas allowed him to pull away just enough to ensure that Dean was more comfortable, but wouldn't let go completely, poised to pull Dean back to him at any moment, his shimmering eyes wary and inquisitive.

"Cas, what-what are you doing here? How did you even know where I was?" Dean managed to stammer out, trying to quell the last of the tremors running through him, shoving the nightmare into the back of his mind, just like he did every night before this.

As Cas moved to speak, Dean shifted his folded legs just enough to feel the wind cold against the wet fabric of his pajama pants. The awful stench of urine filled his nose, causing Dean to tense up, yanking himself out of Cas's grasp and scrambling to get as far away from him as possible.

Luckily, the puddle seemed limited to Dean's clothes and the discarded blanket now lying on the floor. In his frantic rush to get away from Cas in order not to dirty him, Dean stood up off of the bed, tripping on the soiled blanket and falling backward, his skull slamming onto the wooden floor with a heavy thunk.

"Dean! Oh, no, baby, no, it's okay, it was an accident, it's okay, it's okay! Are you alright, sweetheart?" Cas jolted up and to Dean's side with inhuman speed, picking up Dean's head.

Dean felt something like cold water rush over the back of his head and his legs, realizing a few moments later that it was Castiel's grace, fixing his accident and healing his head before it even had the chance to ache.

"Cas, Cas, I'm fine, let me go. It was an accident, yeah, I'm fine. I'll wash the blanket and then get back in the road. You can go back to doing whatever it was that you were doing." Dean said, shoving down his headspace as far into the back of his mind as he could, forcing himself to sit up and pull away from the comfort that Cas offered him.

"Dean, how long have you had nightmares?" Cas asked gently from behind Dean.

Dean froze for a moment, recovering quickly, but not fast enough for Cas not to catch the hesitation. In place of answering, Dean shifted forward to grab the blanket wetted by his shame, only to have it disappear from beneath his fingers.

"Dean, look at me." Castiel's voice was caring but persistent, and as strong as Dean was, it was hardwired into Littles to listen to their Caregivers.

Slowly, with as much dignity and masculinity as he could muster, Dean turned around, only to have his resolve melt when his gaze met the caring, yellow eyes of his best friend.

"How long have you had nightmares?"

Dean sighed, rubbing his hand along his scruff (that he only had thanks to his life of suppressants. Most littles only had hair on their head, eyebrows and eyelashes.) He considered lying to Cas, but he knew it wouldn't do any good to do so.

"Since I got yanked out of hell," Dean replied, deadpan and honest as he could, hoping Cas would just accept it with a nod and understanding.

Boy, was he wrong.

Cas rocked back on his heels, his arms reaching out instinctively to grab Dean, his eyes glowing even brighter as his instincts ramped up. Because of Castiel's angelic nature, Cas's instincts were thousands of times more potent than any humans', protective and possessive and caring, making it nearly impossible to resist scooping Dean up and hiding him away.

But Cas knew he couldn't do that, even though the frightened Neutral sat only a few feet away from him, frightened and pliant and vulnerable. It took all of Cas's control to force his arms back to his sides, taking in a deep breath and forcing his headspace down a bit to rationalize his thoughts.

"I flew here from the bunker because I heard your prayers. You were begging for help, begging for me. I didn't realize it was a nightmare, of course. Something seemed different this time. Dean, I'm so sorry. If I had known you had these nightmares..."

"Stop." Dean interrupted, "this isn't your fault, and it's not your problem. I'm fine. It's been years. I'm used to it. Don't give it another thought."

The room fell into an awkward silence, Dean avoiding Cas's piercing gaze as the angel fought to control his instincts and emotions, trying to understand why his Caregiver side was so pushy when it came to this specific situation.

Eventually, Dean noticed that the sun was getting a little low in the sky for his comfort, and stood up without a word, grabbing some clothes from his bag and walking into the bathroom, locking the door behind him with an audible click. Castiel only let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding once he heard the water running in the shower.

Standing, he summoned another blanket for the motel bed and used his grace to tuck it in. He then went around the room and cleaned up some of the things Dean had thrown around the room in his exhaustion last night, and in the commotion of the morning.

He could've done all of this with a snap of his fingers, of course, but Cas needed a way to care for something or someone, namely Dean, to settle his headspace. Something was bothering him; he just didn't know what it was yet. Of course, the knowledge that Dean was having such awful nightmares each night was enough of a cause for concern, but the angel knew that Dean was hiding something else from him.

After a little while, Dean stepped out of the shower, in much better control of his emotions, and now fully clothed. He opened the door to see Castiel standing in the middle of the room, wringing his hands, his eyes finally back to their pretty blue color.

"Alright, man. I'm gonna head out—suspected werewolf killings in Oklahoma. I'll take care of it. You can head back to do...whatever it is you do back at the bunker." Dean said dismissively.

Cas frowned, looking like he wanted to protest, but looking in Dean's eyes, he decided against it. Dean picked up his overnight bag, pulling his gun out from under his pillow and shoving it haphazardly in the bag.

On his way out the door, Dean stopped when Cas reached out and grasped Dean's bicep, gentle but ironclad. Dean glared at Cas, but his eyes held no heat. Cas cleared his throat.

"I'm always here for you if you want to talk, Dean. Sam, too. Even Gabriel. Just know you can come back to the bunker anytime you need a break." Cas offered, letting Dean go.

Dean's face softened. "Thanks, Cas, but don't give me that chick flick crap. I'm fine. I'm a Hunter. We're always fine. I'll see you around."

With that, Dean left. Cas sighed as he opened his wings, preparing to fly back to the bunker. Something was off, Cas could tell. He may not be the most observant person in the world, but he wasn't completely oblivious.

Besides, Dean was a Hunter. They're never fine.


	2. The Blood of a Righteous Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean runs into a bit of trouble on a hunt and is saved by someone unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey darlings! A bit of a content warning! There’s some gore in this chapter, so if that makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn’t suggest reading past the time-skip. Please enjoy!

"Hey, not to be intrusive, especially considering that I'm the one selling you these, but why do you need suppressants? I've never sold to a Little other than you, not since the SPA passed. Usually, you guys are happy to register, and do...whatever it is that you do after you get adopted." Dean's dealer, an old friend of Bobby's who Dean trusted to take his secret to the grave, asked, his voice relaxed and pleasant in an attempt to be polite.

"I'm a Hunter. I don't have time to be some sniveling child." Dean snarled, his voice thick with self-loathing as he shot the man a glare that would floor anyone who didn't know him well enough to know that he was more insecure and sensitive than angry.

The taste of bile and blood filled Dean's mouth as he bit down on his tongue to force himself to stop from throwing out a string of highly offensive, and frankly necessarily cruel slurs. It's not that he had anything against _other_ Littles. Honestly, a few of the ones he'd met on cases had been really sweet and loving, and almost none of them had caused him any semblance of a problem or been a source of discomfort. But the knowledge that _he_ was a Little ~~and quite a young one at that~~ made him want to throw up, the words John had spat at him over the years when Sammy wasn't around ringing through his ears like a bad case of tinnitus.

Andrew stared at Dean with pity his lips pulling into a slight smile as he reached into his bag. Reluctantly as a drug-dealer can be, he outstretched his hands now holding an orange pill bottle, handing him the now _very_ illegal Littlespace suppressants Dean had been taking for years. Dean didn't wait another moment, downing the little blue pill and chasing it with an old water bottle he had on hand. Andrew's smile fell a bit as he watched Dean's stance relax, seeing the clear hatred for the younger side of himself like red ink in clear water.

"Thanks, man. Here, take this." Dean said, handing Andrew one of his many credit cards.

Andrew took it swiftly and pocketed it, the Beta looking slightly guilty as he slipped it discreetly into his wallet. Andrew knew it probably wasn't safe for Dean to be taking these suppressants, especially not at the rate he had to do so, but he couldn't bring himself to stop helping the kid when he knew how much the life meant to him. Hunting was his life and the only thing that kept Dean going after everything he'd been through. Andy just didn't have the heart, or the balls, to take that away from him. With a sigh, he slipped his wallet back into his pocket and placed a hand gently on Dean's shoulder.

"Stay safe, Dean. And try to take a break once in a while. Don't do anything stupid."

With that, Andrew left, gently withdrawing a hand and turning away from the slightly confused Dean, the man disappearing into the shadows of the small town without so much as a backward glance. Dean sighed heavily and shoved his pill bottle into his inner jacket pocket, knowing it probably wasn't the safest option but being too tired and desperate to care enough to hide it in his car. Luckily, Andy was able to meet him in the tiny town he was heading to work the case, and even though the night was barely ending, the sun barely trudging its way up past the horizon, Dean decided it was time to begin his investigations.

With that, Dean started his work on the case, slipping into the front seat of his car with a renewed sense of clarity and grim determination. The day passed in a blur of questioning and research, full of grieving victims' families, protective Alphas, and desperate, shocked Omegas. The victims, two males consisting of an Alpha and an Omega, and an unclassified female teen had little in common. The alpha male was found a mile outside of town in the woods, the unclassified girl dumped in the canal, and the Omega found in a grocery parking lot.

The only similarity? They all were missing their hearts and were completely drained of blood.

By the end of the day, Dean was exhausted and frustrated, flopping down on his bed and raking his hands through his hair aggressively. This case was going nowhere, every lead he tried to follow just throwing him into another wild goose chase. It didn't help that the people of this town were wary of a random government agent, partnerless, and a Neutral at that, with no scents, pheremones, or instincts they could use to predict him. Maybe it was just a human serial killer, something the actual cops should be handling, without his help, if you could call this desperate attempt helping.

An itchy, burning sensation that Dean was all too familiar with crawled its way over his skin as Dean laid there, causing him to growl out his discomfort. The suit he was wearing, though made of perfectly fine material that wouldn't usually aggravate a Neutral's skin was scratching unpleasantly against Dean's sensitive skin. Littles had very soft, very delicate skin that was often very reactive to certain fabrics and couldn't handle much rough treatment without getting irritated. Of course, there were special clothes for Littles, but you could see the difference a mile away, and Dean obviously couldn't have that. The only reason Dean was able to grow any body hair at all was years of suppressants, and even then, it was minor and he only managed to hide that fact by sticking to longer sleeved outfits when he could. 

With a huff of annoyance, Dean stood, yanking off his suit and button-up shirt as quickly as possible to reveal a soft, but discreet t-shirt, the cream-colored piece of clothing the only thing creeping his entire chest from erupting into a rash from the constant abuse of his fragile skin. When the offensive clothing was finally off of his body, Dean sighed in relief, rubbing his arms vigorously as he stepped towards the bathroom to try to take a shower.

It wasn't often that Dean was caught off guard, but with everything he was going through, his exhaustion, and his racing thoughts, it was a complete shock when a hand came to cover his nose and mouth, and a dull, heady pain jolted through his head once before the world went dark.

******

As Dean awoke, he felt a horrible ache going through his whole body, like he was beaten or dragged. His skin stung, and his head pulsed with every beat of his heart. He could practically hear the skin of his eyelids tearing as he forced them open.

The room was almost completely dark, a slight white light coming in from the streetlight outside of wherever he was. He looked around immediately, taking in anything to give him any clue as to where he was.

His hands were bound behind him, tied with a thick, nylon rope, and his arms were nearly numb with the constriction of his blood flow. Then, he noticed a tube from an IV leading from the crook of his elbow to a saline bag, but it was filled with blood.

His blood, he realized.

"Dean Winchester. I never thought I get a chance at you. I heard you fixed the Apocalypse. Congrats on that, by the way." A high-pitched and quite obnoxious female voice said from the shadows, and Dean's eyes snapped to the source of the sound.

A young woman, in her twenties, stood before Dean, though when he looked in her eyes, he could see that her outer age didn't necessarily reflect her inner age. A grim smile spread across her face, her teeth glinting with an evil light.

When he looked closer, he saw that her eyes were the golden brown color often associated with Omegas. Her hair, pink and cut in a pixie cut, was also indicative of her status. On her shoulder, exposed by the sleeveless dress she wore, far too fancy for kidnapping in Dean's opinion, was a tattoo of a rune Dean recognized but couldn't place, the room too dark for him to see it correctly.

Next to her say a table with candles, and a large grimoire laid out with several bowls and a few large knives.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean spat, his voice growls with a lack of use.

She chuckled and then burst into full-on laughter, the sound coming out manic and fundamentally wrong. Dean gritted his teeth, pulling and twisting to work his hand out of the ropes. The woman stepped closer, the clicking of her heels echoing across the nearly empty room.

A glint of light from her hand caught Dean's eye, and he tensed up in preparation. A knife, more accurately described as a dagger, old, thin, and razor-sharp, hung loosely in her perfectly manicured hands. Her grasp tightened on the blade as she approached, her grin wicked and sadistic.

"The better question, Dean, is what I plan to do with you. You saw my other victims, didn't you? I figured a hunter might catch my scent, and boy, am I glad it was you." She brought the blade up to Dean's cheek, pressing it gently against his skin.

The edge of the blade was so thin; it slid seamlessly into his flesh. He fought the urge to tense as a sharp pain landed through him, knowing it would only force the blade farther into his cheek. Instead, he glared at the woman as she pushed her face up a few inches away from his.

"Those other victims? Well, I've been working on developing a little spell, one of my concoction. Unfortunately, every time I've tried, something goes wrong. The first guy, the Beta, when I ate his heart raw and drank his blood like a smoothie, after saying the appropriate mantras, of course, it seemed to have a different effect than I'd expected."

She flicked her wrist back, withdrawing the blade only to have it alive his other cheek, her hands moving too quickly for him even to flinch. She grinned evilly as Dean clenched his jaw reflexively, only making the pain worse.

"It made me younger. Much younger. I was very pleased with the results. But it's not what I was going for. So I tried again—the Alpha. I figured the Beta was just too weak, so I'd go for someone stronger. Once again, munched on his heart, drank his blood, blah, blah, blah. That spell didn't work right either. Though it did have a lovely side effect."

Dean watched with a sense of horror as her eyes began to glow with a dark red light, a color only associated with Alphas. Her fingers clenched around the knife, the force of her grasp denying the metal.

"But, it still wasn't what I wanted! So, what did I do, you ask? I know you didn't, but stick with me here."

Wordlessly, Dean glared at her, his jaw aching and his cheeks smarting. A deranged look lingered in her eyes as she laughed, unsettlingly. She was so close to him he could smell the stench of blood and alcohol on her breath, the hot, humid air brushing against his face.

"So I figured, well, it must be because I'm an Omega. And they were too old anyway. We just weren't compatible. Besides, do I look like a man to you?"

Dean smirked before he could stop himself. "I think it depends on the light."

Rage twisted her features for a moment, the tip of the blade coming to a jolting stop just before it touched his eye. Then, her face relaxed into a smile so unsettling and horrifying; Dean felt the urge to twist away from her, which he fought.

"Anyway, I'll forgive that one because I want you to watch while I eat your heart. So, I grabbed an Omega girl. I'm sure you didn't know she was an omega, she was unclassified, but I could tell. I would know. Humiliated my whole life for being an Omega. My dad was not a kind man. But that doesn't matter. Because the damn spell still DIDN'T WORK!"

With a roar, the woman jerked back, startling Dean. This woman was very deranged, not that that came as a considerable surprise to Dean. Psychos were common in his line of work. But this woman was a witch, and that made her his problem. The problem is, Dean wasn't sure he could handle this one on his own.

His hands had utterly fallen asleep; even if he wanted to move them, he couldn't. She turned back to Dean now, her hand running through her hair, with that same deranged smile plastered on her face.

"And since none of those useless people worked, I thought I'd give up. And then, you, you beautiful thing, you walked into my life. With how many times you've come back to life, raised from Hell, and dragged down from heaven, you must have some serious juice in your veins. I think the blood of the Righteous Man might finally do it. I'd finally be immortal."

Dean's eyes widened as he realized what this nobody Omega witch was trying to accomplish. Dean knew immediately he had to take her down, even if it meant he had to go down too. But how? He was trapped on this stupid chair; he couldn't even move his arm.

But he could move his legs.

"Immortal, huh? It seems like a waste. Let me tell you, living a life having killed me would not be something I would want to go through."

Dean knew he was bluffing. If he died here and now at this witch's hand, no one would care. He wasn't worth it. He didn't deserve to be saved from Hell at that time, and he certainly didn't deserve to be avenged by his brother or best friend.

"I don't see your big, bad brother around. Don't you do everything with him? What happened, did you have a falling out? C'mon, you and I both know no one is going to come after me. Just go quietly, okay?"

With that, the witch stepped forward, holding the dagger against his chest, above his heart.

"Any last words?"

"Go to hell, bitch." Dean snarled, shifting all of his weight forward to slam his head into her chin, knocking her back and driving the dagger into his chest, missing his heart by mere inches.

He fell into the ground, finally wrenching his buzzing arms from the ropes and tearing the IV tube out of his vein. Yanking the dagger out of his chest with a shout of pain, he used the knife to cut the ropes around his ankles, his fingers heavy and tingling as he fumbled with the knife.

The witch stood, growling with her eyes glowing red as she turned her gaze to Dean. Finally free, he faced her, adjusting his grip on the knife to the best of his abilities as her face turned up in a vicious snarl.

"You'll pay for that, Hunter." She spat, blood dripping out of her mouth in a steady stream.

"Try me." Dean challenged, though he knew how this fight would likely end.

Dean, a suppressed Little, against a young, agile, freakishly strong Alpha/Omega witch. As many fights as Dean has been in, he wasn't usually so outmatched. He couldn't feel most of his arms, and his lack of blood and sleep was making it difficult to keep from swaying on his feet.

Hissing, the witch turned to he right, grabbing a machete off of the table next to her, before she leaped at him, slashing at him haphazardly. Gracefully, Dean dodged, cursing his luck as she swung again, grazing his already bleeding arm. Blood poured from his face, his chest, and his arm in overwhelming amounts, and Dean knew he had to end this fight quickly.

They danced around each other, blades flying, though never clashing, slicing up each person in equal measure. Dean was being pushed down, his strength failing, failing.

He fell to his knees, and the witch laughed, her eyes glinting.

"Nice try, Winchester. But this is the end of the line for you." She sneered, raising her arm dramatically to strike a final blow.

And suddenly, the blade in Dean's right hand was thrust into her throat.

She stared at Dean in shock for a moment, an awful gurgling sound coming from her throat as blood poured from her mouth. Then, she was dead, her eyes dimming as her body fell to the ground.

Gasping for air, Dean slid to the floor, blood still pouring from his wounds. Dean knew that in a few minutes, he'd be dead. He knew this was it.

'Goodbye, guys.' Dean thought, projecting his thoughts to anyone who could hear.

He let his eyes close as his breathing and heartbeat slowed, slower, slower, slower...

"Dean? Dean, oh, God. Don't worry; I'm going to get you help. Hang on." A very, very familiar voice flooded into his mind.

A strange sensation of cold water washed over him, and he felt his wounds close, his heartbeat increasing as vitality flowed into him slowly.

Grace. Archangel Grace.

Gabriel.

And then Dean knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! It’s Terry Pie again, and I figured, hey, I’m not doing anything this fun quarantine season, so why not write? We all need something to do and if reading this makes y’all happy, it makes me happy. Thanks for being so supportive! Love you all!


	3. The Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean awakens back at the bunker, and finds a surprise waiting for him there. Then, after an incident, Dean is left to deal with three Caregivers, two of which are particularly deep in their headspace, and he gets stuck in a bit of a predicament.

When Dean's senses eventually returned, everything felt stiff. He was lying on his back like a dead man, his hands placed awkwardly at his sides, and his head was resting so that if his eyes were open, he would be staring directly up at the ceiling.

But he was on a bed. A bed he recognized. He was on his bed, back in the bunker. He was in the bunker!

Dean took a moment to peel open his eyes, which was unsettling after having to do so so soon before this, in the witch's clutches. He was relieved, though, as he opened his eyes to see a dull, beige ceiling above him. As he flicked his eyes to either side, he saw that the room had remained mostly unchanged since he had left it months before. If anything, the only difference was the fact that the room was spotless.

Though it took nearly all of Dean's effort and left him exhausted, he sat up, panting and sweating when he finally managed to get upright. He looked down at his chest and saw it was completely unscathed, all traces of the stab wound gone. He thanked Gabriel profusely in his mind.

Wait, Gabriel?

The archangel had saved Dean. Though Dean didn't have the best relationship with Gabriel in the beginning, after the apocalypse, they had grown closer, and he considered the archangel, if not an ally, a friend. But to think he had answered his prayer, instead of Cas no less.

Dean cast the thought aside as he swung his legs over the side of his bed, going slower than he was comfortable with as he tested the weight on his legs. Finding them steady enough to stand on, he hoisted himself up, having to catch himself several times as he nearly keeled over.

What Dean didn't understand is why Gabriel's grace hadn't healed his wounds completely. If he has mended his physical injuries, why was it so difficult for him to move and walk? And why did he feel like he was going to pass out?

The questions remained unanswered, however, as Dean carefully exited his room, walking slowly and silently through the halls, towards the main room, and the map table in the center of it. When he finally came close enough that he could see the table, he almost couldn't believe his eyes.

Sitting there, right in front of him, was his brother, Gabriel, and Cas, each with their heads so far buried in their books and computers that didn't notice when Dean barely entered the room, leaning against the wall for support.

Tears glistened in Dean's eyes as he caught sight of his brother. It had been so long since he'd seen or even spoken to Sammy, and there he was, sitting at the table, doing research, just like old times. Dean felt a little stupid when a single tear rolled down his cheek, but he was far too overcome with emotion to care.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, his voice weak and shaky and oddly high, like a child.

It was loud enough, though, to catch the attention of all three men at the table. They looked up to see Dean, standing there, looking shocked, crying, in only a robe and pajama pants. His legs shook with the effort of standing.

"Dean? Dean, you're awake! Are you okay? Here, sit, sit, you should've called for one of us, you're still recovering." Sam fretted, coming over to his brother and supporting him as he tried to lead him over to the table to sit.

Dean didn't care about sitting, though, when he lurched forward and hugged his brother, tight and desperate, letting go after a few seconds to preserve a bit of his masculinity and dignity. Cas and Gabriel observed silently, Cas looking like he was moments away from standing up and helping Sam as he guided his brother to a seat at the table.

"Are you okay, Dean? You've been out for a while. How long has it been since you slept, man? Or ate anything, for that matter? You're wasting away; you need to take better care of yourself." Dean looked up at Sam as he walked over to the kitchen and brought over a couple of Advil and a water bottle.

Dean thanked him and took the meds, ignoring the water, and staring at his brother as if he was a ghoul or a shifter. Disbelief, shock, and happiness warred in Dean's brain as he looked at Sam, trying to burn the memory of his brother, happy and fretting over him into his mind.

"Sammy. Sammy, what're you doing here? I thought you were getting out of the life?" Dean tried to be strong, but the pain of saying those words made tears sting in his eyes, which he quickly blinked away.

He realized at that moment that he needed to take his meds. They were supposed to be taken twice a week to block the hormones that controlled his Little Side accurately. The reason he was so sensitive and exhausted was that his body was unused to the hormones.

"I was, but then Gabriel showed up in my run-down old apartment and told me that you had almost died. I couldn't pretend I'm not a Hunter at the point. I was looking for a Little, but I realized I don't exactly have what I need to take one on anyway. So I came back. Because I'm still a Caregiver, and even if you aren't my Little, you're my brother." Sam explained, his tone nonchalant and honest, making Dean look away from his piercing gaze.

"You don't have to do that, Sam. I'm fine. I'm a Neutral anyway. I'm supposed to take care of myself." Dean said, bitterly, and he noticed that all three of the men present shared a glance.

"Dean, you don't have to do everything alone. You have three Caregivers here who are perfectly willing to help you." Cas said, and Dean immediately felt uncomfortable, the gazes of the men around him trained on him.

"Do you have anything I can eat? And a cold beer?" Dean asked Santa, purposefully avoiding the probing question.

"Of course. Though I'm not sure a beer would be good for you right now." Sam commented, making Dean scoff.

"I'm a grown man, Sammy. I can have a beer. What are you, my mom?" Dean said.

Sam rolled his eyes and stood, pulling out a takeout container that had most of a burger and some fries left. He threw it in the microwave for a few minutes and then brought it, and a cold beer to Dean's side, though he set the beverage down somewhat reluctantly.

Despite his initial hunger, Dean only managed to get down a few bites before he felt a horrible wave of nausea wash through his stomach. He lurched to his feet, startling the three Caregivers into standing, Sam reaching out as if he was going to grab Dean, though he was just out of his brother's reach.

Without a word, Dean bolted into the bathroom, locked the door, and threw up everything he had just eaten, and more bile than he was comfortable with. The flavor burned in his mouth, vile and sickening, making him gag a few times for good measure.

"Dean? Are you okay? Please let us in." Cas's voice called from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine," Dean dismissed, standing shakily and flushing the toilet with disgust.

"Dean, open the door." Gabriel tried, which Dean ignored, washing his mouth out and then brushing his teeth.

Dean supposed to be shouldn't have been surprised when the lock clicked open and the three men crammed into the room, each of them with their eyes glowing slightly yellow, startled by the person they're caring for reacting so negatively to something.

"Dean, what happened? How long has it been since you have eaten?" Cas asked, his eyes scouring Dean's for something Dean couldn't place.

Dean considered lying. He did. But he knew that would get him nowhere. Not only would it annoy the angels, who would see if he was lying, but it would prompt them to go through his mind, and he did not want that when he wasn't on his suppressants. So with a sigh, he opened his mouth to speak, turning his gaze to the floor.

"A little less than a week."

The silence that blanketed the full bathroom was so heavy he could almost taste it.

Fine. Dean would admit it. He was really, really depressed. Nothing meant anything to him anymore. He lost his brother. His mom ditched him. He didn't even have Cas and Gabe anymore. He was alone and spent every day fighting and nearly dying.

The nightmares plagued him. They made it hard to do much but run and work cases. He didn't want to stop his car for anything, expecting a hellhound to leap on him at any moment. It was an unrealistic fear. He knew it. It didn't change anything.

To Dean's surprise, it was Gabriel who spoke first.

"You haven't eaten in _how long_?" Gabriel asked, his voice thick with disbelief.

"It's not that big a deal. I'm just not that hungry, okay?" Dean said defensively, curling in on himself as Sam and Cas's eyes went from faintly tinted to glowing yellow.

It's was clear to Dean that their headspaces were reacting to Dean's sudden change in hormones. The presence of a Little they cared about was making them act in ways they usually wouldn't. Gabriel was never too close to Dean, and he had better control of his instincts, which is why he barely reacted at all.

His stomach twinged as he watched his companions struggle with their instincts, knowing that it must be painful for them. None of them had ever been allowed to care for someone, and it could cause severe psychological deficiencies if their biological needs weren't met. Dean's presence obviously made the craving much worse.

"Dean, I know this is going to sound weird, but I need you to go with me on this one," Sam said through gritted teeth, his voice soft and warm, affected immensely by his headspace.

He looked oddly at Sam as his cheeks lit up in a bright blush, only deepening as he dropped his head forward to allow his long hair to frame his face. If Dean didn't know any better, he would say Sam was holding his breath, but in reality, he was trying to work up his courage to ask for something he regretted needing.

"Okay. What is it?" Dean asked warily, not taking his eyes off of the angel who looked like he was fighting to hold himself back from grabbing Dean.

"I need to hold you. Now. Gabe, could you get a blanket?" Sam said, his voice strained but still silky like he was holding back just as much as Castiel.

Gabe nodded, slipping out of the room silently.

When Caregivers get deep enough into their headspace, they become obsessive if they don't have a Little to care for, which can be harmful to their psyche if they don't handle it. If they're in that state and someone gets hurt around them, they literally cannot stop themselves from trying to help them. It was hardwired in their system.

This knowledge was the only thing that kept Dean from shoving past Cas and bolting to his car to make a hasty exit. Escape would be a better word for it.

"You-You need to...what?" Dean asked.

At that moment, a wave of dizziness swept through him, nearly knocking him over. He grabbed onto the lip of the sink to steady himself. Cas called out his name and grabbed his shoulders to keep him upright. Cas finally gave in, pulling Dean into a hug, which he was too dizzy to refuse.

"Shh, I've got you. I've got you; you're okay." Cas muttered absentmindedly, utterly unaware that he was even speaking as he rubbed Dean's back gently.

Dean felt so awful that he didn't even try to resist the affection, trying his best, and failing not to melt into Castiel's embrace. But when he was in his arms, he felt warm and safe.

And little.

God, he needed his meds.

After a while, a warm blanket, literally warmed, like it was just pulled out of a dryer, wrapped around his shoulders, making him feel sleepy and content. His eyes slid closed as Cas pulled away from him to tuck the blanket farther around his shoulders.

No matter how sleepy and dizzy he felt, Dean still let out a yelp, his eyes shot open when he was scooped up bridal style by his brother. Instinctively, he squirmed, trying to free himself from Sam's gentle hold. Sam only shushed him, cooing softly. Begrudgingly, Dean quieted down, settling as best as he could in Sam's arms and trying not to think too hard about his position.

Dean knew he should be humiliated, but he was so malnourished and tired and dizzy, and Sam and the blanket were warm and comforting and safe. He didn't even react when Sam began to walk out of the bathroom and take him into a bedroom.

"I wonder why he's so complacent," Gabriel said aloud to his brother as they followed behind Sam.

Never taking his eyes from Dean, Cas replied, "We are emitting pretty strong relaxing pheromones that would make anyone tired, even a Neutral. Besides, he's exhausted, malnourished, and over-worked. He trusts us, and he's out of it. My confusion lies in why my headspace has been so reactive to him lately."

Gabriel nodded, his footsteps slowing as he changed directions.

"I'm going to make something soft, like soup, for when he wakes up. You're pretty deep in your headspace, little bro. You should go with Sam. Dean may be embarrassed when he wakes up, but I can't have you getting messed up because you deny your instincts. Go on." Gabriel said, giving Cas a gentle push that caused the angel to run after Sam., shooting the archangel a thankful glance.

Gabriel chuckled after his brother, and then turned into the kitchen, sighing as he finally let his eyes glow. Pushing down instincts was not easy, and not for the faint of heart. But he was an archangel. He could handle one Neutral getting hurt without going full mama bear, even if all he wanted to do was scoop Dean up and hide him from the world. What a ridiculous thought.

With that, he laughed once more before pulling out the ingredients needed to start the chicken soup he knew Dean loved.

******

Back in Dean's room, Cas and Sam settled in the now sleeping Dean on his bed. Laying there, cuddled in the fuzzy blue blanket, Dean looked vulnerable, soft, and sweet. Almost like a child. Almost like a Little.

Cas knew that that idea was ridiculous, however. Dean was a neutral, no matter how much recent events seemed to show otherwise. No Neutral could possibly stand so long without regressing. Not even Dean.

"How do you want to do this, Cas?" Sam's voice, altered by his headspace, broke through Castiel's thoughts.

"I'll take one side; you can take the other. I hate taking advantage of him like this, but I have to do something." Cas replied, his voice soft and baleful.

Without another word, Sam slipped onto the bed, giving Dean enough space not to do anything without his consent, but to fulfill his urge to protect him.

Cas sat down on the other side, snapping and changing both his, Sam's, and Dean's clothes into unnaturally soft pajamas. Sam muttered thanks as Cas tucked himself into bed, his body several inches away from Dean's. He couldn't stop himself from draping one of his massive black wings over Dean and Sam.

Cas didn't sleep, but it didn't matter. He laid there, with his wing out and his eyes closed, enjoying the peace and warmth of the moment.

But peace doesn't last forever. Not for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! Terry Pie here! I’m on a roll, today! I just can’t stop writing! I’m just so freaking bored! And depressed! But I have my baby boys and that’s all that matters, I guess. Too personal? Oh well, you’ll get used to it. I don’t really have much to say, I just hope you all are enjoying the story! I love you all!


	4. Mirrors and Medicine Cabinets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wakes up in the arms of his brother and his best friend. The following day is not what anyone wanted.

For the first time since Dean was four years old, when he woke up, he felt refreshed—not tired, not afraid. Content. Warm. Happy.

Something was definitely wrong.

Dean sat up quickly, trying to recall what happened, trying to remember falling asleep, when he looked to see Cas and Sam laying on either side of him.

Sam was fast asleep, his hair messy and his mouth hanging open as it used to when he was a kid. Cas, on the other hand, opened his eyes the moment Dean sat up, the glimmering blue making Dean sigh out in relief.

"Cas? Why are we...? What's going on?" Dean asked gruffly, running his hand through his hair and down his face tiredly.

"Sam and I brought you here. You were about to pass out. You've been asleep for about two hours. It's nearly three in the afternoon." Cas replied, his unnaturally deep voice soft.

As Cas sat up, a mouthwatering smell met Dean's nose. Immediately, he was made aware of the sharp stabbing pain in his stomach, past the point of hungry into nauseated. His stomach growled loudly, making Cas fight back a smile and Dean's face flush bright red.

"Gabriel is cooking your favorite chicken soup. Would you like to go get some?" Cas offered, kindly.

As much as Dean wanted to accept that offer, he couldn't, despite the smell permeating his thoughts and making him want nothing more than to take what they were offering. To let himself go.

The voice in his head never stopped. Never let him let go. It reminded him of his meds.

"I'm good, Cas. Thanks. Is my stuff in my room?" Dean said, dismissively, causing Cas to frown.

"Yes. But Dean, you have to eat. It's very unhealthy to keep from eating for as long as you have." Cas insisted, his eyebrows drawing together in a scowl.

Dean waved off his concern, sliding off the bed. At his first attempt, he found himself satisfied with his ability to walk, however shakily. Without another word, Dean stepped back to his room, feeling the angel's gaze on his back as he opened the door, and even as he shut it behind him.

With a sigh, Dean walked over to his room, making sure to lock the door behind him. To his relief, his bag and jacket were on his bed, his coat fixed and looking clean. After doing a quick search, he let out a breath when he realized his knives, and more importantly, his meds were still safely tucked into his jacket.

Without a second thought, Dean pulled out two pills and downed them, quickly popping the cap back on and putting it into the cabinet behind his bathroom mirror. With a sigh, he brushed his teeth and hair, trying to make himself feel more presentable.

The meds began their work quickly, and strength seemed to return to Dean, his head clearing, and his appetite diminishing some. His hands finally stopped trembling, and he straightened, squaring his shoulders like he usually did.

Waking over to his bedroom door, he clicked the lock open, opening the door, only to meet a glowering Castiel standing only a few inches from the door. His trench coat was back on, which was much more comfortable and familiar to Dean than waking up to see him in pajamas.

"Come to the kitchen, Dean. You're eating."

There was no room for argument in Cas's tone, not that Dean would've protested anyway. He was starving, and now that he felt normal again, he was sure the conversation would be much less awkward.

When he entered the kitchen, Sam was awake, dressed, and setting the table. Like, full-on, setting the table, like some domestic homemaker. Dean gawked at Sam like he'd grown a second head. Gabriel saw Dean's expression and chuckled in amusement, holding a large pot in his hands, and wearing pink (pink!) oven mitts.

"What? What the hell? Did you guys get married to each other while I was asleep or something? Sammy, when did you turn into an Omega?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Hey, don't be sexist. I'm just trying to make the bunker more homely." Sam said kindly, a smile on his face as he set down the white ceramic plates.

Dean muttered to himself as he walked over it the table, following Cas's example as he sat down at the now very domestic looking scene. A bowl on a plate, and a silver spoon he didn't even know they owned sat next to the plate.

"I know this seems pretty selfish of me to say, but I'm doing this stuff for myself more than anyone else. We're three Caregivers. We're hardwired to take care of someone. And we can't exactly care for each other. So you're our best option here, kid." Gabriel explained, setting the large pot filled with murky yellow soup and steaming with a delicious scent on the hot pad on the table.

"Yeah, sorry about last night. It's been a long time since I got the chance to look after anyone. I'm sorry for letting my instincts get the best of me." Sam apologized, a sheepish look on his face.

Dean waved his hand dismissively, glad that they thought that their instincts were only acting up because of the lack of caretaking they'd been doing lately, and not because they had a Little in their clutches and had no idea.

"It's fine, guys. I get it. I might not have instincts or headspaces like you guys, but I've been in a biology class before. You have needs or whatever. It happens."

Cas looked at Dean with an odd expression, like he was looking deeply into his soul, trying to understand something he saw there. Dean cleared his throat and looked away, but Cas remained unfazed.

"So, I think after this meal I might head out, start looking for another hunt, you know? I'm all healed up, so I should be solid now." Dean said nonchalantly, causing Sam and Gabriel to freeze in their movements.

Dean watched warily as Sam's eyes flickered yellow, and he could tell he was fighting his headspace. Gabriel looked Dean dead in the eyes, unimpressed and amused.

"That was a cute try, Dean. A for effort." Gabriel said, his movements resuming.

"What?" Dean exclaimed, embarrassed and stubborn, jutting his chin out in indignation and pride.

"C'mon, kiddo, you really think my brother and yours are gonna let you pull that stunt? Look at them!" He gestured to the two boys, who looked like they were going to reach out and grab him at any moment, their eyes flickering like faulty lightbulbs.

Dean swallowed nervously. Wow, they must need a little if their hormones are this out of wack. He almost felt guilty for what he planned on doing.

"Dean," Cas said, gruffly. Dean turned his head to meet his friend's eyes, which bore into his soul.

"I hate to ask this of you. But please, stay. I-We need you to stay. I understand you don't want to be here; I do, but..." Dean held his hand up to stop him.

"Cas, man. I get it. It's not that I don't want to be here. Its just...hunting is my life. I'm not the most domestic of people. But clearly, you guys need to get yourselves under control. So I'll stay for a bit." Dean said, and he saw both Sam and Cas relax, Gabriel smirking knowingly.

"Thank you, Dean. That was honestly quite embarrassing to admit." Cas admitted.

With that, the conversation dissolved, becoming casual and happy, domestic. Sam served the food, and everyone sat around the table, even the angels eating some of Gabriel's delicious chicken soup. The second the hearty, salty soup touched Dean's tongue, he couldn't get enough eating spoonful after spoonful, drawing a few amused chuckles from his brother and Cas.

Dean enjoyed the sense of family and warmth he got from this moment. His brother sat across from him, looking happy. Gabriel was finally on their side, Cas was delighted and alive, and okay.

Everything was good. Everything was wonderful.

But Dean knew it wouldn't last.

His happiness sobered as he looked around the kitchen, trying to take in as much of this moment as he could. The smiling faces. The warm feeling in his stomach and heart. He was content. And also sad. Sad that soon it would all be gone.

Sam was going to leave again. Dean knew it. All his life, all he wanted was to be normal. He was going to get a Little. And when Sammy got a Little, he would lose Cas too. Even Gabriel. He'd be alone. At that thought, he had to fight back the tears, staring down at his bowl and setting down his spoon.

He didn't even notice that the conversation had stopped until a soft hand fell on his shoulder.

"Dean? What's wrong, sweetheart?" Cas's voice broke through Dean's thoughts.

Dean looked up, hearing the sniffing of his breath as he cried softly. He met Cas's glowing yellow eyes and watched them widen at whatever Cas saw in his own eyes.

"I'm fine, Cas," Dean said, his voice dead and empty.

"Baby..." Cas's voice was heartbroken.

Suddenly, Sam jolted out of his seat, his eyes glowing like a candle in the room. Without a word, he stalked off, growling. Gabriel shot a glance at Cas, his eyes unchanged, and went after Sam.

Dean broke down.

"Wh-what did I do? I-I-I Didn't mean to! I'm so sorry, Cas, I'm sorry." Dean sobbed, his voice and breath shuddering with effort and emotion.

Cas stood and hugged Dean's head to his chest, petting his head and muttering words of encouragement. Concern and indecision warred in Cas's mind, his instincts yelling at him to pick Dean up in his arms and cradle and cuddle and kiss him until he calmed. Still, his logic knowing that would be invasive and uncomfortable to the usually stoic Neutral.

And so he stood there, fighting his desires, comforting his friend, and wondering what exactly was going on with them.

******

"Samuel, what the hell was that?" Gabriel insisted, watching as the taller man paced back and forth across his room.

"I can't, Gabriel. Just get out." Sam replies gruffly, though the velvety tone of his headspace made it hard for him to show his anger appropriately.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, planting his feet and preparing to restrain the man if he had to.

"Sam. What's going on with you?" Gabriel asked, slightly softer this time, and Sam stopped, his breath hitching.

When he turned to Gabriel, the archangel was shocked by how brightly Sam's tear-filled eyes glowed in the dark of the room. They stood like that for a few moments, stubborn determination permeating the room, before Sam finally softened, letting out a defeated sigh.

"He's my brother, Gabe. And a Neutral. But I want to care for him so bad. I want him to stay; He's killing himself, hunting alone like that. I can't lose him. I can't. I want to hold him, and do everything for him, and watch him be happy and healthy and mine! But he's older than me, and a Neutral, and he isn't mine. No matter how much I want him."

Gabriel opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted as Sam started again.

"I tried to find a Little when I went to New York. I figured, there are so many people there, I was bound to find someone, right? But every time, when I was taking care of those adorable, wonderful people, all I wanted was for it to be him. It's weird. And sick. He's not even a Little. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want me."

By the end of his rant, Sam was sobbing, falling to his knees by his bed. Gabriel walked over to him and kneeled by his side, pulling Sam onto a hug. He could feel Castiel's distress through their bond, his confusion, so he let their grace mix a bit to soothe him. He had to be reliable to support his family. Sam and Cas needed him right now.

"Sam. Your brother loves you. He always will. And you love him. He _does_ want you. He's just different than us. I understand what it's like to want someone you can't have. I get it; I want him too, Sammy. So does Cas. But we can't force him. He's his own person, Sam. It'll be okay. We can find the perfect Little. We can love them together."

They both knew that was a lie.

******

Sam and Dean didn't talk for the rest of the night. While Cas was comforting Dean, he tensed up, yanking himself out of Cas's arms and telling him he needed to be alone. He locked himself in his room and didn't come out, no matter how many times Cas knocked on his door and asked him to come out.

Sam was miserable, sitting at the now empty table with a beer in his hand and empty bottles scattered around him. Gabriel sat with him, looking equally distressed. Cas felt helpless. Of course, he was upset too, but that was the least of his concerns right now.

"Sam, Dean will be fine. I know you want to help him, I do too, but he's going to be okay." Cas tried, but Sam ignores him, finishing up another beer and immediately reaching for another one, only to be stopped by Gabriel.

He sighed heavily and dropped his head in his hands, looking angry, and rejected and frustrated. Cas was torn. He didn't know what to do.

So the angel paced.

The Caregivers sat, at a loss as to why they wanted this one Neutral so badly, why he was pulling away from them, and why it killed them all to see him go.

******

The suppressants were fading, he could feel it, and it terrified him. He had only taken some this morning, but they were already wearing off so quickly. And he pretended he didn't know why, but he did.

It was his Caregivers. The presence of his Caregivers, three, no less, was causing his body to try to adjust to the pheromone output of all three of them at the same time. His suppressants weren't designed for that.

He had to leave.

God, he didn't want to. This life, sitting here and eating and being happy with the people he loved, he wanted nothing more than that. But he couldn't be a burden to them, anymore. He couldn't even sit through one damn meal without crying! They wanted a competent Little, someone sweet and complacent and healthy, not some dirty, suppressed sinner like Dean.

Not to mention the fact that he'd lied to them for so long. He didn't deserve to be near them, didn't deserve their love. He had heard so thousands of times from his father, from Alastair. From himself.

No, Dean knew the only way he could protect the people he loved was to leave. To get away from them and stay out of their life permanently, to give them a chance to start a life with a Little they'll love, without him in the way.

Downing three more suppressants, Dean packed a bag with everything he needed, and waited in his room for everyone to retire, before he would leave. And he wouldn't look back.

And so, he sat on his bed and mourned for a family he loved, never truly had.

And now lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! It is I, Terry Pie. I really need to get a life, honestly. I don’t usually write this much, but hey, whatever works, right? Anything for you guys! I love you all!


	5. We Don’t Hate You, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean’s escape attempt does not go the way he planned, and a secret gets out.

Was he really doing this?

Dean stood in front of his bedroom door, holding his large bag hoisted over his shoulder. A scowl knitted his brow together; his face scrunched up as he considered what he was doing. "

If he left now, Dean didn't know if he would ever come back. They would be mad at him, that much he knew. Sam would probably hate him. It wouldn't be long until they were thankful he was gone. And that should relieve Dean. But it didn't.

The thought hurt. It killed him, imagining his family wanting him gone. The anger on Cas's face, the hurt on Sam's. The snide victory on Gabriel's. He wasn't sure he wanted that. No, he knew he didn't want that. But what choice did he have? This was for them.

Dean had no idea what he wanted. But he did know one thing for sure. Everything he did would be for them. He tried to make his family happy. He wanted to give them a chance at a healthy life with someone worthy of their love. Not whatever mess he was.

He had to leave, didn't he? It was the only way they would let him go and move on. And be happy. If he was doing this to ensure the happiness of Sam, Gabriel, and Cas, who deserved it more than anyone, then he could do it, no problem.

Steeling himself, Dean opened the bedroom door as quietly as he possibly could, peering out as far as he could see to make sure that either of the unsleeping angels wouldn't catch him.

To his relief and disappointment, the hallway, and the two main rooms, were empty. Warily, Dean crept out of his room, his steps silent and slow, like he'd practiced since he was a child.

He walked through the empty, dark room, with a sad, heavy feeling in his heart. For all he knew, this was the last time he would ever see it, and this was one of the only places that Dean had ever considered his home.

Dean approached the staircase for what he thought was the last time, everything in him screaming at him to turn around and go back to his room, get a good night's sleep and stay with the people he loved. But he didn't. He couldn't.

"Dean? What are you doing?"

At the sound of Gabriel's voice, Dean startled, muttering a curse as his bag fell to the ground. The items from the side pockets came tumbling out, including, to Dean's horror, the small, orange container holding his suppressants.

Slowly, he turned to face Gabriel, who stood there with his hands on his hips and a stern look on his face. Dean swallowed, trying to come up with some excuse, though he knew he was caught.

"What's this?" Gabriel asked, the pill bottle on the floor catching his attention.

Well, fuck.

"Don't touch that!" Dean cried, but it was too late. The archangel has already picked it up and was reading the label.

The silence that followed was so thick it was practically tangible. Dean's mouth dropped open, and his eyes widened in disbelief. Terror, making his breaths quicken and his heart race, shot through his veins like a poison.

"Dean, tell me these aren't what I think they are."

Even if Dean wanted to answer, his breaths were coming in short, sharp gasps, making it impossible to pull in enough air to talk. His throat seemed to constrict as he attempted to calm his panic, the feeling of suffocating making his fear worsen.

As if summoned, Cas walked in, looking panicked and confused as if the sound of the crashing bag had drawn him from his room, which it probably had. When he saw Dean standing there, hyperventilating, and Gabriel looking at a bottle of pills like it was poison, he leaped into action.

"Dean, honey, you need to calm down. Look at me. You're safe. No one is yelling; nothing is wrong. You're safe. You're safe, and I'm here. Please breathe, darling." Cas's voice was steady and practiced, knowing what to do after seeing this thousands of times.

"Cassie, we need to talk. Now. I'm going to get Sam." Gabriel growled, the heat in his voice making Dean flinch and curl in on himself.

Castiel went to scold his brother, but he was already gone. Instead, he focused on his best friend, who had begun to whimper and cry, his back arching in as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. His beautiful green eyes were glazed and unseeing, flicking around the room in animalistic fear.

"Dean, you need to breathe. I won't touch you, but I'm coming over there, okay? Just tell me to stop, and I will." Cas warned, sauntering over to the Winchester with his hand's open palm out, making sure his movements were seamless and steady.

"Please-please. Please, please, please," Dean begged, his voice strained and small.

"Please, what, Dean? Use your words." Cas said, his voice low and steady.

"Please don't hate me."

Cas froze in his movements, his eyes widening in shock as the Winchester began to sob, great heaving sails that shook his whole frame.

"What's going on?" Sam's voice demanded from behind Cas, causing Dean to scramble backward and fall onto the step awkwardly, wincing as the metal dug into his back.

"Samuel, stop," Cas commanded, keeping his tone gentle but his intent clear.

"What happened?" Sam asked, much softer now that he realized the situation.

"Only Gabriel knows. And Dean, of course. He's afraid that whatever Gabriel found will make us hate him." Cas explained.

The conversation died there as Cas refocused his efforts on Dean. He approached him slowly, slow enough to give the man plenty of warning. When Dean didn't back away, Cas put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Dean leaned into the touch like he was starving for it. Cas took that as permission to pick in the fallen man and cradle him to his chest.

Dean continued to sob, loud, ugly cries, muffled by the fabric of Cas's trenchcoat. He then turned around to see Gabriel and Sam, watching them intently. Gabriel had a deep scowl carved into his face, and Sam's eyes held only concern.

"I can't believe we didn't know," Gabriel growled, causing Dean to flinch and Cas to shoot a warning look at his brother.

"Okay, what is going on? You said we needed to talk. Let's talk." Sam said, sounding confused and distraught.

"Not like this. It's the middle of the night. Dean is in the middle of a mild panic attack. I don't care what this is; it can wait until the morning." Cas insisted, then, he caught sight of the bag on the floor.

"Was Dean leaving?" He asked quietly, drawing Sam's attention to the bag as well.

"Yes."

Cas felt his heart fall, the pain of rejection crushing him. He held Dean a little tighter, thankful that he had Dean right here where he belonged, and that he got a second chance with the man.

"Nevermind that. I need to get Dean to bed. You two should get some rest too. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be hard for all of us." Cas said, walking past the two of them to get to Dean's room.

Cas flinched when he saw the door was slightly ajar, knowing that Dean was going to leave them. Leave him. The thought tore at Castiel, making his insides twist painfully. He thanked his father above that Dean was here in his arms, safe and not dealing with this alone.

Dean's sobs reduced to hiccups and heavy breaths, exhaustion winning out and making the panic fade. Cas muttered and cooed, trying to calm the frightened boy in front of him as he laid him on his bed.

Cas snapped, and Dean's clothing disappeared, replaced by boxers and pajama pants, soft and gentle, better than the scratchy clothes he knew must have been overstimulating him.

Dean's tears finally slowed as his eyes drooped in exhaustion, the man fighting sleep with every fiber of his being, and still losing miserably. Cas petted his hair and sat on the bed beside him, rubbing his back in soothing circles.

"Shh, baby. Go ahead and sleep. We can figure everything out in the morning."

******

Dean awoke alone in his room, tucked into the covers, and dressed in pajamas. He groaned and sat up, looking down at himself and around the room in confusion, trying to remember how he got here.

Then it all came back to him.

Dean threw himself off of the bed, knowing that he had to get out right now before anyone could stop him, or worse, force him out. Tears pricked his eyes as he pulled off his pajamas and threw on a few layers of clothes, knowing he wouldn't get a chance to come back.

Instead of grabbing another bag, Dean decided on just taking Baby and running, getting out of here as fast as he could, to avoid the lashing he was likely going to get. He had seen his angels when they were angry, and that was not an experience he valued greatly.

His breath came in pants as Dean walked out of his room, closing the door as gently and quietly as he could manage, the primal terror of being caught, causing his heart rate to rise steadily as he glanced around haphazardly.

Quickly, Dean walked through the hallway, planning to bypass the kitchen entirely and head straight to the staircase and out the door, but his hopes were dashed as soon as he caught sight of the three Caregivers sitting around the table.

Castile looked extremely concerned as if he was waiting to hear about whether someone lived or died. Sam looked pensive and brooding, like when he had been going over research for a case for too long. Gabriel's face was unreadable, though he held something hidden in his closed fist.

Dean considered making a run for the stairs anyway, or turning around and going back into his room to stay there for the rest of his life when Gabriel looked up and caught sight of him.

Remembering the look in Gabriel's eyes as he picked up Dean's bottle of suppressants, Dean began to shake, starting as light tremors and morphing quickly into shivers that wracked his whole body.

"Come here, Dean." Gabriel order, his voice no-nonsense and intimidating, drawing Sam and Cas's attention to Dean as well.

Dean did his best to square his shoulders and face this humiliation and hatred he knew was coming with as much dignity as he could muster, but he couldn't stop himself from ducking his head in submission as he approached the table.

"Can someone please tell us what's going on now?" Sam asked, looking uncomfortable as he longed to reach out and comfort his upset brother.

Dean sat down awkwardly across from his three friends, feeling a bit like he was put on trial in front of a jury. He flinched as Gabriel's face twisted into a look of anger, and he slammed the orange pill bottle on the table in front of him.

"I don't understand." Castillo's said, reaching out and taking the bottle, studying the label for a moment before his eyes widened in recognition.

"What is it?" Sam asked, watching as Dean curled into himself, his entire frame shaking violently, and his face and neck painted red in shame and humiliation.

"Dean, these are suppressants." Cas gasped, his voice shocked.

"What?!" Sam exclaimed, and Dean flinched, hot, fat tears beginning to roll down his cheeks.

Cas and Sam sat in shocked silence while Gabriel stared at Dean stonily, his gaze scrutinizing and careful. Dean was so terrified he could barely breathe, staring stubbornly at a small chip in the wood of the table.

"When were you going to tell us you were an Omega?" Gabriel asked, and Dean's head shot up to meet the archangel's, his eyes filled with confusion, then understanding. These were general SC suppressants. Of course, they wouldn't think he was a Little.

"I'm-I'm not an O-Omega. Or a Sub, for that matter." Dean stammered, still unable to admit his horrible, not so well hidden secret.

The realization came to all three of the Caregivers across from him at the table at the same time.

"You... you're a Little? And you've been suppressing it for all this time? You've never regressed even once while we've been hunting?" Sam said, awe, and something unrecognizable and soft in his voice.

Unable to speak, Dean nodded, no longer able to keep his tears at bay. They were going to throw him out. He was going to love him. They hated him. Just like Dad. Just like everyone. He was better off dead than continuing to be a burden to them.

Dean's sobs came to a halting stop, though, as he heard a sniffle across the table. Dean's head shot up faster than he thought possible, and he gasped as he saw the look on his brother's face.

Sam has tears filling his eyes, sliding down his cheek, his cheeks were bright red, and his eyes were as yellow as Dean had ever seen. And most prominently, a broad, bright grin was spread across his brother's face, identical to the one plastered on Cas's.

"I-I don't understand," Dean said, mostly to himself, as Sam began to chuckle with delight, clasping his hand on Cas's shoulder, who chuckled too.

Soon, Sam broke into full-on laughter, standing up and rushing over to Dean. Dean let out a yelp as he was scooped up into Sam's arms and cuddled close to his face. Sam peppered Dean's face with kisses as Dean sat there in shock.

"You're not mad? You don't...hate me?" Dean asked incredulously, his voice thick with disbelief and hope.

Cas laughed, his eyes glittering with tears as he walked over to Sam, who reluctantly passed him a perplexed Dean. Cas kissed Dean's forehead softly and whispered against his forehead. His eyes glowed a vibrant yellow.

"Of course we don't hate you, baby. I don't think I've ever been happier to hear anything ever before. Of course, there's still a lot we need to talk about. But honey, can't you tell? All I've wanted, all we've wanted, all this time, was you."

Dean looked up at Cas's face, his eyes wide and shocked as they glistened with tears. Cas smiled at him, and with that, Dean cried, letting himself sink into the comfort Cas was offering him. The angel shushed him and bouncing him like a fussy child, beaming as if he had just won the lottery.

"You're just going to accept this? Just like that? I can't believe this. I need a while to think. If you're in danger, you know how to reach me." Gabriel growled, and then he was gone.

Dean froze, tensing up as pain lanced through his heart. Instinctively, he began to squirm, trying to get out of Cas's hold. The angel just shushed him gently, rocking him as Sam walked over and patted Dean's head, dropping a few more kisses in his crown.

"Just give him some time, sweetheart. He loves you too. Don't worry about it, for now." Sam said softly, and Dean relaxed, feeling a bit odd to be carried by another man, and feeling a bit self-conscious about his weight.

As if he could read his mind (which, knowing Castiel, he probably could), Castiel transferred him onto his hip and tapped his nose with his now free hand.

"Dean, even if I wasn't an angel, Caregivers are biologically designed to be strong and capable. You're not too heavy, baby. You're perfect."

"Absolutely." Sam agreed.

Then, they stood there for a minute, both cooing at Dean and giving him kisses and attention, before Dean's stomach growled loudly, causing Dean to flush and hide his face in his hands, while Sam laughed and pried his hands away from his face.

"Should I get you a bottle? Or maybe baby food! Oh, you'd look so cute with a pacifier, and a onesie! Oh, I have to get some!" Sam exclaimed, his excitement making some of the fear Dean felt lessen, and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Sammy, we don't have anything like that." Cas reminded him, and the man deflated a little bit before his face lit up in excitement.

"I know just what to do! Let's go shopping. You can come with us, and we can get everything you want." Sam said, his yellow eyes glittering with happiness and contentment.

"You don't have to. I'm not worth that." Dean muttered, and Castiel frowned, angling Dean's face toward his.

"We want to, baby boy. You're a Little who's never gotten the chance to be a Little. And even if you aren't officially yours, we are your Caregivers for the time being, until you decide you'll either stay with us or find a new Caregiver. And as your acting Caregivers, it is our responsibility, and our pleasure, to spoil you with all the love, cuddles, toys, and coddling a beautiful little boy like you deserves, okay? Please, let us do this." Cas said, and Dean could never refuse his angel.

Dean nodded minutely, causing Sam to let out a whoop of excitement and begin scavenging around for a jacket, and his credit cards. Cas watched happily, his own glowing yellow eyes reflecting Sam's excitement.

Everything would be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! You lovely people have been so wonderful and supportive! I am so excited to see this story progress, and every comment and Kudos you guys leave is greatly appreciated. I promise, in the next chapter, we finally get to meet Little Dean! I hope you’re as excited as me! I love you all!


	6. A Little Love Goes A Long Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, Cas, and Gabe go to a store designed for Littles. Dean has his first real encounter with his Littlespace.

To say that these past few hours had shocked and pleasantly surprised Dean was an understatement for the ages. Of all the possible reactions to his friends and family finding out he was a Little, love, acceptance, and overwhelming quantities of excitement was not at all what he expected. The disgruntled look on Gabriel's face was the only thing even a little bit close to what Dean had originally anticipated, and even that paled in comparison to the absolute delight that Sam and Cas poured out like a leaky faucet.

Castiel has refused to put Dean down, transitioning between cradling him as close to him as possible and resting him in his hip. Dean would've minded if it had been anyone else, but Cas looked so loving and excited, he couldn't help but be excited as well.

Sam never went more than an arm's length away from Cas and Dean at any given moment, and there were a few people who had mistaken Sam as Cas's Alpha, and Dean as their adopted Little, which was less rare than one would expect.

Just because Littles were more compatible with Caregivers didn't mean they were only compatible with them. They often were adopted into families as opposed to children, due to the consistency of their age, and ability to slip out of headspace if needed.

Dean was sure that the four of them must have been a bit of an odd sight. A grown man, carrying a taller man dressed in adult clothes that were not designed for Littles, followed by a very tall man who was clinging to the pair like an Alpha, trailed by a very grumpy looking, very short man.

"Cas, you don't have to carry me everywhere. It's very, very embarrassing." Dean complained, his face red as people gave him a few odd looks, though many people in the mall who had Littles of their own, ignored them.

"I want to, baby. Besides, those people are only staring at you because you're wearing big boy clothes, even though a Caregiver is carrying you."

Dean turned to look at Cas to ask how the people of the mall could tell that he was a Caregiver, only to be met with glittering yellow eyes, a stark contrast to their usual blue.

"We're here," Sam announces, drawing Dean's attention.

Wow. That store was the biggest freaking store Dean Winchester has ever seen in his life.

Lovelies For Littles was one of the biggest commercial companies that sold anything a Caregiver would need to care for a Little of any age. Dean has avoided then for his entire life, humiliated at the thought of heeding anything.

"How old are you in your headspace, sweetheart?"

Dean looked up at Sam, who had asked the question and had to think about it for a moment before he remembered what it said on his Classification letter. He had thrown it away so quickly after reading it...

"A baby. Young. I'm not sure." Dean replied, embarrassed to admit just how young his age was. I mean, 16 months is the youngest Little age besides newborns.

Sam's face morphed into one of intense excitement as he registered what Dean said. With a little laugh of elation, Sam leaned down and gave Dean a big kiss on his head, scooping him carefully out of Castiel's arms.

Cas grumbled but didn't try to take Dean back, instead walking onward as Sam rocked Dean and chattered endlessly about baby materials, and blankets, and stuffed animals. He then tucked Dean's head into the crook of his neck, holding him like an infant and allowing him to see Gabriel behind him.

When he caught Gabe's eye, the archangel did his best to muster up an angry scowl, but when he saw the heartbroken look on the Little's face, he smiled a little bit, his face softening as he gave in a bit to his instincts.

Gabriel wasn't angry at Dean. He was upset at what he'd done to Dean, all those years ago—killing him over and over. He was upset about what the Little had been through, and he felt terrible that Dean hadn't felt safe enough just to tell them.

Gabriel never wanted to be a Caregiver. When he was created by God and assigned to Earth, he never envisioned himself as one. But life on Earth changes angels, and they tend to adopt human genders and Classifications. When Gabriel first fell into his headspace, he fought it.

He could understand Dean's discomfort with his classification. Sometimes accepting who you are, biologically or otherwise, is a difficult task, and Gabriel still fought it to this day. But now that they were going to have a Little, it was something he would have to accept or do away with entirely.

The choice scared him. Doing away with his classification would mean returning to heaven permanently. That was the last thing Gabriel wanted. But this was all so sudden, and as much as he loathed to admit it, he wasn't ready. He was afraid.

Dean brightened a bit as they walked into the store, peering around cautiously over Sam's shoulders. There were Littles scattered around the store, in various styles of dress and age, each accompanied by any manner of other classifications. Each looked perfectly in place, happily holding hands with, or even being held by, their respective caretakers.

Shame flooded through him as he registered that he was a grown man being carried through a store made for children. He didn't even look like a Little, with his size and style of dress. He squirmed aggressively, his face flaming as he tried to escape his brother's grasp.

"Shh, hush, darling. I'm going to carry you, little one. You're my brother. You trust me, right? Cas, Gabe, and I want to get you used to your headspace; you've denied yourself for so long. Just let go, sweetheart." Sam whispered in Dean's ear, tightening his grip on the squirmy Little.

Mortified, but also subdued, Dean huffed, causing Sam to chuckle.

"Is he fussy?" Cas cooed, his voice so full of affection that it made Dean shiver with discomfort.

"Yeah. Would you mind holding him? I'm going to get a cart." Sam said, pulling Dean away from him and seamlessly transferring him to Castiel.

"Please put me down," Dean begged, feeling like everyone was staring at him, judging him, even though no one spared him a second glance.

Dean's gaze dropped to the floor, a lump forming in his throat as a flood of self-hatred washed through him, making him feel awful and frustrated and embarrassed. He startled a little but didn't fight when Cas gripped his chin gently and turned Dean's face to look in his eyes.

Whatever was in Dean's eyes caused Cas's face to soften with a gentle smile. He pressed a soft kiss against the tip of Dean's nose.

"No one is going to judge you, baby boy. We're in a store for Littles, just like you. The three of us love you with all of our hearts. I want this, baby. I want you. Please let me take care of you. If you're not comfortable, I'll put you down. I don't want to push you too fast." Cas offered.

Dean felt himself relax at the offer, suddenly feeling less trapped, less restrained. However, he shook his head minutely, and Cas flashed him a smile and whispered a thank you.

"I got the cart!" Sam said, pushing a large cart, much larger than Dean expected, in front of him.

"Let's just get some necessities for today, okay? We can go shopping for pleasure when our little one is feeling just a bit more Little." Cas said, and Sam nodded, though, by the look on his face, that rule would be very loosely followed.

Dean discovered quite quickly that, as it turns out, Littles, and babies, take a lot of supplies. As Cas and Sam trade him back and forth, carrying him around the whole store several times, with Gabriel lurking silently nearby, Dean began to grow more comfortable with his position, seeing how happy his Caregivers were.

Well, two of them, at least. Gabriel looked highly uncomfortable, which was odd for a Caregiver. Several people stopped to give all three of the Caregivers compliments about what a pretty boy they had, and a few even went up to Dean and cooed at him or looked him over. The attention made Cas and Sam glow with pride, but Gabriel and Dean looked like they wanted to disappear into the floor.

By the time they finished, the large cart was practically overflowing with toys, baby clothes, food, bottles, formulas, and furnishings. Dean was getting very tired, and, as a result, fed up with the whole situation. He just wanted a hunt, a beer, and maybe a hookup to calm his nerves, but he figured he probably wouldn't get that for quite a long time.

"What's wrong, Deanie?" Cas asked as Dean was passed over to him once more.

Dean shot him a glare before latching himself onto the man, feeling helpless and a bit floaty and vulnerable, a sensation he was very uncomfortable with. Displeasure was evident on his face as he squirmed and shifted, huffs of hair coming from his mouth as he began to get frustrated.

"I don't know. Just, can I have a minute?" Dean asked, and Cas set him down immediately, steadying him as he stumbled slightly.

"Thank you," Dean said sincerely, to which Cas nodded.

"Don't you guys think you went a little overboard?" Gabriel said, speaking for the first time all afternoon.

Sam laughed and turned towards the archangel, clasping a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing is too much for Dean. He's my Little; I'm going to pamper him." He said, as if that was the most obvious statement in the world, making Dean flush and try to stammer in protest.

"Now Sam, Gabe may have a point. Dean isn't even technically ours. He could choose to leave and find a Caregiver of his own." Cas stated gently, causing Dean's eyes to widen. He hadn't considered that, and, if his expression was anything to go off of, neither had Sam.

And by the look on his face, that thought did NOT please him.

In a flash, Sam had Dean in his arms, eyes glowing brightly and a low growl in his throat as he tucked Dean close to his chest. Cas and Gabriel immediately backed up, and a few of the other Caregivers looked their way, glancing at the angels as to see if they needed to step in. It was illegal to threaten a Little, especially publically and considered profoundly taboo. If the angels showed themselves to be a threat, they would very quickly have a horde of angry CGs on their hands.

If Caregivers thought their Little was threatened, or that they may lose them, they could go feral, much like an Alpha over their mate or children, though less possessive and more protective, like a mama bear instinct. Sam wasn't quite there, but anyone could see the beginnings of a feral Caregiver.

"Sammy, calm down. You're attracting attention." Dean muttered, and Sam relaxed slightly, taking a few steps towards the seraphs, and cutting off the growl in his throat.

The other Caregivers around seemed to be satisfied with that, though wary, as Sam's eyes hadn't dimmed even a little bit. Dean began to speak, to ask Sam to put him back down, but Sam shushed him quietly, bouncing him a little before rocking him slowly, which, surprisingly, felt very nice.

"Let's just go home. We can talk about this later. Right now, he's my baby, and I want to spoil him." Sam said, his voice low enough to only be heard by Dean and the angels.

Cas nodded, flashing an apologetic smile at Dean. Mollified for the moment, Dean smiled back, complacent as Sam gave his soft kisses on his crown and muttered reassurances to Dean. Even though he was still a bit uncomfortable with being held, especially after the attention drawn to them, it didn't seem like Sam would be pleased with letting him down.

And so, they paid, the cashier looking at the band oddly as Sam clutches the Little close to his chest, soft rumbles in his chest soothing to Dean, and threatening to others as his eyes glowed brightly. Dean could tell that Cas was trying not to slip into his headspace in response to Sam's agitation.

The walk back to the Impala was silent, and Dean wondered to himself how exactly they would fit the massive cartload of supplies in the back of his already stuffed car.

Of course, he shouldn't have wondered, because the second they were out of the view of the public, Gabriel snapped, and the cart's contents disappeared, tucking neatly into the trunk. Gabriel then swooped in and took the cart back to the cart racks physically to avoid suspicion.

Dean began to struggle, pulling his keys from his pocket to drive his car, when Sam tutted (actually tutted!) and snatched the keys from Dean's hands. Dean looked up at his brother in indignation and annoyance, his face growing red with anger and frustration instead of embarrassment this time.

However, before Dean could scream at Sam to let him go, Sam popped a pacifier into his mouth.

Dean froze, shock resonating through him as he felt the rubber teat between his teeth. Suddenly fascinated, he gave it a few timid sucks, rolling his tongue around to get it to fit better.

"There's my little boy. Much better. C'mon, you can sit in the back with Cas, and I'll drive, okay? As much as I want to keep holding you, I know how you feel about your baby." Sam said, passing a still shocked Dean over time Cas, who cooked at the sight of the green pacifier in the Little's mouth.

Dean didn't react, though he felt like he should be throwing a fit in response to not being able to drive his car. But something was calming about knowing he didn't have to worry about it. That Sammy would take care of it.

As promised, Cas placed Dean in his seat, frowning a bit as he strapped him in the chair, muttering something about a carrier. Then, he went around the other side of the car, slipping into the middle seat and putting on his seatbelt, before sliding his arm around Dean's shoulders.

Dean leaned into the touch, feeling odd. His head felt fuzzy and warm like Dean was close to falling asleep, but not quite. It was a happy feeling, though Dean felt the odd urge to fight against it. Trusting his gut, he pushed it back vehemently, not that it did too much good.

But he could feel himself slipping. His big thoughts were fading away, sliding through his grasp like sand through fingers. Dean scowled as he tried to force his headspace away, but it had been pushed away for so long, he wasn't sure he could keep it at bay.

It didn't seem like he had to, though, as he felt his slipping stop cold in its tracks, like something was blocking his Little side from showing, like a wall.

It must be his suppressants, Dean realized. They had practically become part of him at this point, and it wasn't too long ago that he had taken them, which means they would still be in effect. Just because he was getting closer to slipping didn't change that.

But still, Dean was closer to being Little than ever before, the pacifier in his mouth a calming weight, soothing his oral fixation. He worried it between his teeth, enjoying the feeling of his jaw working over the rubber.

Cas began to card his fingers through Dean's hair, and his eyes fluttered closed, a soft moan escaping him, making him blush. But it felt so good! The touch was gentle and maternal, and it made Dean feel comfy and sleepy and...Little.

******

When Dean awoke, he was no longer in the car. The feeling of waking up somewhere else was extremely disorienting, and Dean realized that he was also alone, as far as he could tell. He blinked several times and looked around to gather his bearings.

He seemed to be swaddled tightly in a blanket, with his green pacifiers still tucked in between his lips. Dean gave it an anxious suck, panic beginning to slide into his veins as he registered he was trapped.

Just as he began to whimper, Cas walked into the room, a big happy smile on his face, and his eyes as bright yellow as Dean had ever seen them. His smile widened as he looked down and saw Dean awake.

"Hello, baby! It's your Daddy! Are you wet, my little one?" Cas asked softly as if he was scared to startle Dean.

Dean scrunches his face in confusion before he shifted, hearing, and feeling, a strange, crinkling material between his legs. Dean froze as he realized what it was.

Mortification burned in Dean's face as Cas picked him up, still swaddled tightly in the blanket, and Dean felt a cold brush of grace on his crotch, making him flinch.

This was too much. This was too fast. When did this happen? He wasn't even entirely in his headspace! Dean tried to quell the rising discomfort and panicky, trapped feeling rising inside him, looking at Castiel's smiling face as he carried him.

He had never seen the angel so happy, carefree, and content. He was grinning ear to ear, completely wrapped up in his headspace and instincts, a soft, comforting purr coming from his chest. Dean forced himself to hold it together, for Cas. He was just so damn happy; Dean could handle a little discomfort.

Cas carried Dean into the kitchen, where Sam was standing, cooking some pancakes on the stove. The sweet, fresh smell of cooking pancakes hit Dean's nose, causing his mouth to water, and prompting him to begin to suck on his pacifier.

As if sensing their approach, Sam turned around, his eyes unchanged from when Dean last saw them, just as deep in his protective headspace. He grinned when he saw Dean, reaching out with a free hand to boop him on the nose.

"Hello, my beautiful boy! Is my little one sleepy?" Sam asked, effortlessly turning back to the pancakes and flipping them the moment they needed to be flipped.

"Yeah, he just woke up. Are the pancakes close to being ready?" Cas asked, the goofy smile still plastered on his face.

Sam nodded, though they both ignored as Dean whined to be set down. Cas just bounced him a few times and shushed him gently, the soft purr rumbling in his throat.

They were just so, so happy that Dean felt horrible for wanting to be put down. For wanting his space. His bladder was full, and Dean knew that he was not in the right headspace to use his diaper. He may not have much experience being Little, but he'd been big enough to know when he wasn't.

However, despite his obvious discomfort, Dean didn't voice his feelings, or try to fuss or move at all, knowing how disappointed the pair would be if he did.

"Okay, Cas, could you go get Gabriel? The pancakes are done." Sam said, and Dean felt relief flood through him, thinking Cas would put him down.

His hopes were dashed, however, as Cas carries him through the rooms and into the library, where Gabriel sat, reading a book Dean couldn't quite catch the title of.

"Come on, Gabriel. It's time to eat." Cas said, and Gabriel stood, smiling a little at Dean, his eyes flickering yellow before he quickly looked away.

Dean was growing more and more uncomfortable as Cas walked back into the main room, sitting down at the table and sitting Dean on his lap. As Dean realized he wouldn't be sitting at his own chair, he slumped, though Cas seemed more concerned about peppering kissed on his face than how he was sitting.

Gabriel walked in, making some snide comment about the breakfast for dinner thing, which Dean ignored, instead staring at the pancakes on the table, golden brown, chocolate chip, banana, and plain, covered in melting butter. Sam's specialty.

Dean's heart sank, and a horrible feeling of disappointment sang through him as the others began eating. Still, he was forced just to sit and watch, suddenly, as he felt a hot, wet rush between his legs, the disappointment, discomfort, and desperation became too much for Dean to bear.

He began to cry. Softly, silently, at first, then little sobs as he forced his arms out of the blanket to cover his face. The lively conversation around the table dissolved as Cas and Sam began to panic, trying to bounce Dean, which just squashed the wet, cold material under him, and trying to swaddle him, which Dean refused aggressively.

"For Father's sake, Castiel. Did you even check how regressed he was? He may not be feeling Little enough for all of this yet, Gabriel said, scooping Dean up and setting him down on a chair, unwrapping the blanket around his shoulders and pulling out his pacifier to give him the chance to breathe.

Dean gasped gratefully, calming down almost immediately as fresh air rushed into his lungs, clearing his head. Castiel and Sam sat there, looking helpless and guilty, trying to figure out what to do.

"I know, sugar, I know. You weren't ready. That okay. How about this. We get you into a nice pull-up, and you can come to eat dinner with us, hmm?" Gabriel offered his voice kind and comforting.

Dean nodded, and Gabriel offered him a hand, which he took, waddling out of the room. Dean's heart broke as he saw the heartbroken look on Cas's face, and Cas tried to smile at him to make it better, but the guilt burning in his chest made it difficult.

When they left the dining room and walked into Dean's room, which remained unchanged, Gabriel didn't judge him. He didn't shout, or laugh, or pick him up, or coo. He just helped him out of the soiled diaper, cleaning up the mess with grace and a wet wipe, before giving Dean a pull-up that he was able to put on himself, which he was relieved about.

"Are you okay, sugar? Do you want to go eat?" Gabriel asked, his voice calm and sweet.

Dean nodded, not wanting to use his words, instead, grabbing Gabriel's hand and walking with him back into the kitchen. Everything felt odd and unfamiliar, and Dean was cautious as he followed after the archangel.

When he walked in, Cas was trying not to cry, and Sam looked pensive and upset but faring better than Cas. Dean let go of Gabriel's hand, running to Cas and hugging him, causing the angel to startle, but catch him quickly and bring him into a hug.

"I'm sorry little one." He whispered, his voice stammering with tears before he caught himself and took a few deep breaths.

"It's okay, Cas," Dean said, his voice higher pitched and slightly slurred, like a child.

Cas gave him a watery smile, pinching his cheek gently and kissing him carefully on his face. Dean giggled and pushed Cas away weakly, just like a baby being tickled. The action made Cas's heart warm with happiness.

Soon enough, they were all sitting around the table, Dean happily taking a place by Cas, eating small bites of pancake that Cas cut up for him, and, at Dean's request, fed him.

Dean felt happier than he had since before his moms died. Everyone he loved now was sitting around the table, comfortable, safe, and laughing. Even Gabriel looked at him fondly, seeming much less angry am than before.

Everything would be okay. Dean could feel it.

Everything would be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! How are you enjoying the story so far? Every time I read one of your comments I practically glow with happiness! You guys are so awesome! And don’t worry, Dean is only gonna get cuter from here on out. Make sure to comment on your opinions, or if you want to see something specific in the story! I love you all!


	7. Angels and Witches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas, Sam, and Gabriel find out that there’s a reason why Dean has been struggling so hard to fully regress. They call an old friend to help out.

Dean was beginning to get very frustrated at his brain. Almost a week had passed since their family trip to the store, and Dean hasn't slipped anywhere near his headspace since that first day. Anytime he would get close, his brain just wouldn't let him. He could see the disappointment and frustration in his Caregivers as well, which only added to his guilt.

Dean paced around his room, his legs beginning to ache from how much he'd been walking back and forth across the tiny room. His feet padded silently as he methodically stepped back and forth, back and forth. It seemed to him that the only thing that could calm him was the pattern of his repeated steps, like the beat of a drum.

Why could he regress? No other Little had any problems with it. It's not like he wasn't trying; of course, he was working at it as hard as he could. However, it seemed that something was blocking him from it. Dean feared it was pride, or maybe stubbornness, but if that was so, then why couldn't he fix it?

Dean muttered quietly to himself, deaf to the door as it opened softly, Cas stepping through to look at his Little. Dean didn't notice him at first, too caught up in his thoughts. So much so, that when Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder, he startled, jumping into a defensive position.

"Calm down, Dean, it's just me. What's wrong, darling?" Cas asked, and Dean deflated, leaning into the angel's touch.

Dean sighed heavily, his eyes closing as his eyebrows drew together in a deep scowl. He brought his hand up to grab onto Cas's arm, using his forearm to help steady himself. He realized then just how tired his legs were, the ache beginning to throb, and spread to his joints.

Cas itched to pull the evidently struggling Little into his arms and make him feel safe and warm and young and happy, but after what happened on the night they went shopping, Cas was very, very wary of attempting to push Dean into a young headspace.

While forcing yourself out of your headspace is far worse, forcing yourself into a headspace could cause Dean to make a negative association to his Little side, which, in a few, sporadic cases, causes the subject to develop the Kodomo-Girai disease. A lethal mental disorder that causes psychosis, suicidal ideations, and unstable regression.

"I can't regress, Cas. I don't know why it's bothering me. It's not like I ever regressed before. But for some reason, it's...different this time." Dean said, his voice frustrated and defeated.

Gently, giving Dean plenty of time to stop him if needed, he pushed the Little onto the bed, sitting next to him and slowly guiding Dean's head to his shoulder. When Dean didn't resist, he began to gently pet his hair, letting his nails scratch lightly at his scalp to help him relax.

Dean nuzzled into his touch hungrily, as if he was starving for affection, which Cas knew he was. Biologically, Littles needed attention and love to thrive and to be at their healthiest. Dean has gone for so long without that that his hormones must be incredibly out of wack.

"Of course, things are different this time, lovely. You have three loving Caregivers who want nothing more than to care for you, and you aren't taking your suppressants anymore. Your body, your brain, wants to regress. If I'm honest, I don't know why you haven't." Cas admitted, and Dean tensed, pushing his face into the crook of Cas's neck.

"Sweetie? What's wrong?" Cas asked, sensing distress coming from the Little. Suddenly he was painfully aware that Dean was hiding something.

Dean really didn't want to tell Castiel that his meds were still somehow affecting his ability to regress. It was a scary thought, like knowing you're sick but now wanting to go to the doctor.

"It's nothing," Dean muttered, pulling away from Cas abruptly.

Before Cas could react, Dean was across the room and opening the door, his face tight as he turned away from his Caregiver. Cas looked at him critically, unable to read his mind but wishing he could without touching him.

"Baby..."

The door closes behind him.

******

Dean regretted what he did immediately. He could hear Cas's pained sigh on the other side of the door and had to fight to not run back into the room, crying and begging for forgiveness.

Since this all started, Dean's emotions were on hyperdrive, like a very unpleasant and constant tidal pool. The unending ups and downs with no consistency were almost unbearable, and Dean has never craved a suppressant more than right now.

Angrily, with all of the indignation and immaturity of a child, Dean stormed off to his car, not telling anyone that he was leaving or where he planned to go. He felt his mind beginning to slip into the odd, half-headspace that he was capable of, but he ignored it.

He drove hard and fast, not caring where he went or how far, just needing to clear his mind and be alone, to escape his thoughts like he used to, with a good drive and music blasting loud enough to damage his hearing.

Too late, Dean realized he'd left his cell phones in his bag, and the only phone he carried around anymore was in his room. He was much too far from the bunker to turn back now, so he plowed onwards, driving and driving until the sun began to set.

Eventually, he turned around, feeling his kind begin to go fuzzy, making it difficult to focus on the road. His concentration waned, and he began to swerve, startling as a driver honked at him as they sped past.

Eventually, Dean's driving got so reckless that he was pulled over by a cop, a wiry young Beta by the name of Joey. He checked Dean's (very fake) license and registration and made him take a breathalyzer test.

"Sir, what's your classification?" Joey questioned, part of the routine when being pulled over.

"Little," Dean said mindlessly, before freezing as the man's eyes widened.

"You shouldn't be driving in your headspace, kiddo. It's not safe. Do you have a Caregiver I can call?" Joey asked, his voice suddenly much kinder.

"No, no, I'm fine, really. I'll just wait here for a minute. I'm slipping out of my headspace anyway. I'll just stay pulled over, and I won't drive until I'm fully big, okay?" Dean said, frantic to avoid a large scene with Sammy, or worse, Gabriel or Cas, showing up to come to collect him.

Joey looked skeptical, but since there wasn't much he could go to stop him, as it wasn't illegal for Littles to drive unsupervised, he nodded stiffly, forgoing the ticket and instead radioing other officers to let them know to watch out for Dean's car.

Dean hated it. Being treated like a liability, as a child, it was humiliating, and he hated it. He wished it would all just go away. He wanted to be a Neutral again more than anything at that moment.

"Alright, kiddo, you're free to go. Be careful, okay?" Joey said with a friendly wave before he got back in his car and drive off.

Dean waited until the car was well out of sight before he started up his Impala, going as slowly as was safe and doing his best to stay in between the lane lines.

Finally, he managed to limp home, the garage of the bunker opening had never been such a relief. He dragged his body out of the car, his brain feeling sluggish and fuzzy like he was as close to his headspace as his brain, his suppressants, allowed.

The moment Dean opened the door, absentminded sucking and chewing on his buckles, he was gravely aware of his mistake. Sam, Cas, and Gabriel sat at the table, looking frantically through Dean's things, checking every phone and calling and calling and calling.

At the sound of the door opening, all three of his Caregivers' gazes snapped towards him, each with eyes glowing as yellow as he'd ever seen them. Even Gabriel looked flushed with relief as he registered Dean was there, slumping back into his chair.

"Dean! Oh baby, oh my little one, oh my little baby!" Cas cried, appearing next to Dean just as Dean's legs gave out, and he slid to the ground.

Before he could collide with the metal, however, he was scooped up in the angel's arms, cuddled as close to Cas as the angel could physically manage. Dean never stopped sucking on his knuckles, longing for his paci and a nap.

Cooing and clicking in the strange angelic language of Enochian, Cas carried the partially regressed Little down the stairs, to where Sam was waiting, dragging his hand frantically through his missed hair.

"Oh, Dean, sweetheart, where have you been! What if you had gotten hurt! Don't ever leave without checking in with one of us, you scared me half to death!" Sammy said, peppering Dean's face with kisses.

Gabriel approaches Sam, coming to stand by Dean. He shot him a tired, relieved smile before producing Dean's green pacifier from thin air, and gently pulling his hand from his mouth, replacing them with the rubbery teat.

"Look at his eyes. They're flickering oddly. Why can't he regress properly? Gabriel questioned, watching as the green eyes flickered baby pink, too faint to be actual regression, but too strong to be normal.

"I don't know. He knows, but he wouldn't tell me this morning." Cas replies, watching with amusement as Dean stared at Sam's long hair in amazement as it swept over the man's shoulders.

"Maybe you should read his mind. It's for his benefit." Sam suggested, looking up at Casteil with shocking yellow eyes for a moment before going back to playing with Dean, who was trying to follow the conversation but was too little for that.

Cas shifted Dean's weight partially over to Sam, who caught him effortlessly, before gently pressing two fingers to his baby's head.

Cas's eyes widened as he saw Dean's brain, gels I gotta over their morning conversation with shock. When he pulled back, he was trembling, his chest vibrating with an angry growl, deeper and louder than any human was capable of. Gabriel looked at Cas warily, immediately on edge. He shifted himself slightly to stand protectively in front of Dean and Cas, flaring out his invisible wings to wrap around his brother.

"Those suppressants, those things that Dean took. They ate away at his brain. They literally eroded the part of his endocrine system the produced his hormones for Little space. What horrible things. How VILE!" Cas growled, tightening his grip on Dean and causing him to yelp.

Cas calmed a little at that, loosening his grip on the baby as Gabriel and Sam sat there in shock, both inching closer to their Little as Cas's angry growls filled the air. Dean whimpered, slipping out of headspace a little bit as he struggled to escape from the arms of his Caregivers.

Gabriel just shushed him, petting his hair and letting his grace wash over him comfortingly, easing him back into whatever headspace he had left. Gabriel mourned internally for the kind of suffering this could cause a Little.

He froze as he realized that this meant he may have lost a Little before heaven had him. Gabriel's hand trembles as it rested on Dean's head, the baby suckling sweetly on his pacifier, both filling Gabriel's heart with love and breaking it.

He allowed his grace to sweep through the Little's mind, assessing the damage and feeling his heart sink as he realized it wasn't in his abilities to fix it.

"I can't heal it," Gabriel admitted sadly, only to be met with two, grief-stricken stares. "It's not an injury or an illness. I can't restore it because his Brian thinks this is how it should be. I can't do anything without his express permission, and even then..."

The three of them sat in silence as Dean dozed off, looking precious and adorable and Little as he was cradled in HS Caregiver's arms.

Suddenly, Sam lit up, passing Dean to Gabriel quickly and running back to the table, grabbing his primary phone and phoning a particular contact. The angels watched on curiously.

"Hello? Sam? Is something wrong?"

Sam was sure he'd never be so happy to have anyone answer his phone call before, letting out a sigh of relief as he formulated a plan in his head.

"Yeah, hey Rowena, I need your help. It's Dean." He said simply, thrilled at her response.

"I'll be right over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I have some bad news. My boyfriend of four years broke up with me while I was writing this chapter. I’m really sorry if it’s not as good as the others. I’m obviously a little shaken up, and I’m gonna be recovering for a while. I really love him. But, I also really love you. No worries, I’ll keep on writing this story. But updates might be just the tiniest bit slower. I hope you all understand! I love you all!


	8. Don’t Be Scared, I’ve Got You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowena prepares to cast a spell to help Dean, and a happy decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I’m sorry this took so long to get out! I know it’s only been a day but I feel like I failed you for some reason. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy. More notes at the end! I love you all!

"I came as quick as I could. What's wrong? Is he sick? How bad is it?" Rowena exclaimed as soon as Sam opened the door for her, her endearing accent thicker with worry.

Her fiery red hair looked messier than Sam had seen in a while, and he could tell that she must've rushed to the Bunker as fast as possible. She flashed him a polite smile as she passed right by him, starting down the stairs.

"He's not sick, it's more of a...specialized problem," Sam replied as she tracked down the stairs, carrying a small duffel bag in her right hand that he was sure was full of materials for a spell.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She questioned, setting her bag on the table and beginning to pull out various herbs and other supplies.

"Rowena, I can't believe I've never asked this, but what's your Classification?" Sam said, temporarily ignoring her question.

The witch looked at him oddly, her eyebrows drawing together in a scowl. Sam almost laughed at the look that had been quite familiar to him and his friends for a very long time. Luckily, it was a much nicer gesture these days than it had been when they were enemies.

"I'm an Omega; why? What does this have to do with your brother? He's a Neutral after all." Rowena replies, her voice dismissive.

"Dean is a Little. A baby more specifically." Gabriel said, walking in carrying a large cardboard box labeled "Ancient Materials."

"What?" Rowena exclaimed, dropping the crystal she had been taking out of her bag and wheeling around to face Gabriel in shock.

Gabriel places the box on the table, next to where she was setting everything up, opening it up and rummaging through it. The sight was amusing, as the box was big enough to make it difficult for him to see into it correctly. He kneeled and grabbed the fallen crystal, which thankfully was unbroken, and threw it back to her, which she caught gracefully.

"Dean, the Hunter, is a Little, and he has been taking suppressants for so long that he has made it impossible for his brain to regress properly."

Rowena gawked at the angel, who ignored her, finally giving up on rummaging through the box and instead walking over and flipping through Rowena's book. Too fast for Sam to see, she snatched the grimoire from Gabriel and hit him over the head with it.

Gabriel froze, shocked, before bursting into laughter, his sides shaking from the joviality of it all. He laughed for a while, causing the atmosphere to relax some as the shock wore off of Rowena's face, and she managed a slight smile.

"Gabriel! A little help!" Castiel called from the other room, and Gabe was gone in an instant, vanishing with the tell-tale flittering of wings.

"Well, I never. Dean Winchester, a Little? And a baby at that? How bizarre. I bet he makes a cute little bugger, though." Rowena said good-naturedly, and Sam smiled.

"Do you think you can help?" Sam asked.

Rowena thought about it for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together in a scowl. Then, she brightened in realization, opening her book and flipping near the end. She traced her fingers down a few pages, reading quietly to herself in an unrecognizable language before she tapped knowingly on the binding of the second to the last page.

"Well, I have two options we could potentially try. One would target that certain part of Dean's brain that allows him to regress, and take and eidos copy of it from far before he started using suppressants. It's difficult and time-consuming, but it would be the most effective option."

"And the other?"

Rowena frowned at that, looking at the page with disdain and resignation, cringing as she read through the complete spell. Sam's instincts began to flare as he saw the look on Rowena's face, and he knew that no one would like what she was about to say next.

"What is it?" Sam's voice was panicked, and he could feel his instincts flickering to life, surging with protectiveness.

"The other option would be much less enjoyable for all of us, but it may be what Dean decides to do in the end." Rowena began, her mouth turned down in a large, disapproving frown.

"What is it?" Sam demanded, and Rowena looked up, unimpressed.

"This spell would remove Dean's ability to regress permanently, and he would truly become Neutral. However, it's irreversible, and it could cause him to develop serious issues with depression, and potentially even apathy. He would still be able to hunt, but it would cost him."

Sam's eyes widened in shock even as he shook his head no, his chest rumbling with protective growls and his eyes glowing yellow. Rowena looked at him with indifference, unintimidated by his display. For an Omega, she had dealt with enough Caregivers in her day to recognize how to deal with them.

"Dean is my baby. He's mine. I can't let him...he can't...I won't...Damnit!" Sam said, his frustration getting the best of him as he realized there wasn't anything he could do.

"What's all this fuss about?"

Rowena and Sam turned to the hallway off of the kitchen, where Dean stood, dressed in children's pajamas that said, "Sunday Funday" on them, despite the fact it was Thursday. His cheeks were dusted with a blush at Rowena, seeing him dressed as such, but he kept his cool despite that fact.

"Dean! How nice to see you!" Rowena said, causing Dean to raise in eyebrow skeptically. He glanced at Sam expectantly.

"I called her here. I needed her to help to...you know what? Let's get Cas and Gabriel in here. We need to talk."

******

"Get rid of my Little side? Forever?" Dean asked, shellshocked.

"No! Absolutely not! That couldn't possibly be healthy!" Gabriel exclaimed, Castiel sitting next to him, speechless.

"It's not your choice." Dean snapped, and Gabriel huffed, barely subdued, but not willing to push the Little.

"But, that's not the only way? You can heal his Littlespace?" Cas asked, his voice so low Sam had to strain to hear it.

"Yes, though, that spell is a little bit longer. I have most of the ingredients for both spells. I'm missing something rare for the reparation spell, and I'm missing quite a few less rare items for the neutrality spell. I can and am willing to perform either, but you have to be absolutely sure. Neither is reversible."

"But he wouldn't be forced into a Little headspace all the time, right? He could still be big if he needed to." Gabriel questioned, and Dean scowled, his gaze falling to the table.

Rowena nodded in response, and the table fell into silence. Each of the people at the table was trying to deal with their own racing thoughts, and no one knew quite what to say. Sam lost track of how much time had passed before Dean looked back up at him, his expression tired.

"What do you think, Sammy?" Dean asked.

Sam sighed, dragging one hand down his face.

"Sweetheart, I think you know what all of us want. But I'm not going to stop you either way. I love you so much, and I want nothing more than to be your Caregiver. That goes for all of us. But if you decide that isn't what you want, I'll love you either way." Sam said softly.

The five of them sat at that table for a long time, going back and forth and back and forth about the pros and cons. Everyone was frustrated, but in the end, they all knew it came down to Dean's decision. As much as Sam wished he could make that choice for him, he also knew it wasn't his place.

"And you guys promise you'll still love me no matter what I choose?" Dean asked, his voice uncertain.

Cas's face fell when Dean said those words, fighting back crushing pain and disappointment, thinking the decision was already made. It tore him apart to think of losing his baby before he'd even gotten the chance to love him yet.

"Of course we will, sugar. We love you, no matter what." Gabriel said at last, and Dean breathed out, tears forming in his eyes.

"Well then...if you guys are okay with it...if you'll have me, I'd like to be a Little. Your Little. All of you." Dean choked out, his face flushing and his back arching in on itself.

The three Caregivers stopped, looking at Dean as if he had just told them they were getting a puppy or going to Disney. Then, Castiel stood and swept the baby up into his arms with so much excitement and love that it brought tears to Sam's eyes.

Very quickly, everyone in the room was crying, the Caregivers huddling around Dean and giving him kisses and cuddles and love. At the same time, Rowena watched from the sidelines, a few stray tears escaping as she watched the happy scene.

When a Little accepts an offer from a Caregiver or vice versa, it was considered a day of grand celebration in many cultures. It was like adopting a child, a day filled with joy and love, and family. And for these men, it was the start of a new life, a happy life, where they all could finally find where they belonged.

Many cultures threw a party on these days, like a birthday, but with different traditions. In many places, gifts were given, and songs were sung around a lovely dinner. Celebrations differ in different areas, but there wasn't a country around that didn't celebrate. But we can tackle that one next time.

When the celebrations and the cuddling finally settled down a bit, Rowena clapped her hands together and cleared her throat to get the men's attention.

"As happy as I am that you have made this decision, it is a long spell, and there is a rather important ingredient I need to get," Rowena said, and the Caregivers sobered a bit, though none of them pulled away from a very dazed but happy Dean.

"What is it? I'm sure I can get it." Gabriel asked.

"Oh, I'm sure you're the only one who could. I need a thorn from the crown of thorns Jesus wore on the day of his execution." Rowena said, and Gabriel chuckled.

"Done," he said, snapping his fingers before disappearing with a flutter.

"Okay, now while he's doing that, I need to set up for the spell, and you need to get Dean as close to regressed as you possibly can."

Sam smiled widely and looked down at his baby, whose eyes were already glazed and beginning to glow a faint green.

"I think we can manage that. I think a bath and a bottle are in order for you, little man."

"Perfect. Now, you bathe the baby, and I'll be here. You call if you need anything."

"Thank you, Rowena. Really." Cas said, and the witch smiled at the Seraph, seeing the dopey look in his glowing yellow eyes.

"Of course, Castiel. Anytime."

******

"Okay, baby boy. I'm going to undress you now, is that okay?" Cas asked the Little sitting in front of him while Sam turned on the water behind them.

In lieu of a verbal response, Dean nodded, looking a bit shocked and uncertain, like he hadn't expected the reaction he got. He was teetering on the edge of his half-headspace like he wasn't sure if he should let go.

Cas reaches out and gently peeled off his pajamas, folding the shirt, and then pants, making sure to put them on the counter. Sam left the room as Cas scooped Dean up gently, checking his eyes and thoughts for any sign of discomfort. All he found was a happy, shocked little boy who was trying to wrap his head around what was happening.

"Your Daddy loves you so much, munchkin. I'll always be here for you, no matter how little or big you are. You're still Daddy's little boy. And I'll always take care of you." Cas whispered as he set the boy into the warm bath water as it continued to fill the tub.

"Do you want bubbles, darling?" Cas asked, pulling some soap designed for the express purpose of making bubbles out of the cabinet under the sink.

As Dean nodded his response, a small, shy smile on his face, Sam walked back in, holding a large, fluffy yellow towel and a giant sweatshirt and boxers.

Castiel smiled at the Little and unscrewed the cap on top, poring a couple of capfuls in under the stream of water. Immediately bubbles formed, the iridescent orbs floating in the air around the bath in a charming sight.

Dean looked up at the bubbles with glee, reaching out and touching the few in the air, then becoming adorably fascinated as he noticed the foam building around him.

Sam and Cas watched as he played for a while, slipping deeper and deeper as he giggled and messed with the bubbles.

Eventually, Cas had to stop the fun, walking over and pulling out the plug as he noticed the water had become tepid. The baby glowered at Cas childishly, but Cas only smiled and gave him a kiss on the forehead, causing his face to light up in embarrassment and happiness.

"Let's get you all clean, darling," Cas said, picking up a washcloth and lathering it in baby soap. He reached over and turned the water back on, putting the plug back in and letting the tub fill with bubble-free warm water.

"I'll get his hair," Sam offered kindly, opening up the cabinet under the sink and pulling out some shampoo and conditioner made for Littles, as well as a plastic Rapunzel cup, before coming and kneeling next to Cas.

Together, they cleaned their baby, pampering him and making the experience as pleasant as they possibly could. Cas was gentle and caring as he pulled the cloth over Dean's skin, making Dean shivered as he massages his muscles gently.

Sam tipped his head back and allowed it to rest on one of his hands, while the other very carefully poured warm water over Dean's head. Then, he put a generous amount of the vanilla-scented shampoo on his hands and gentle, lathered it into his brother's scalp.

He lightly scratched his nails against Dean's scalp, feeling Dean all but melt into him as a purr started up in his throat. Sam and Cas shared a happy glance and grinned.

Once Cas had cleaned his whole body, and Sam had finished his hair, Cas drained the tub, and Sam grabbed the big fluffy towel, scooping Dean up with it wand wrapping him up immediately, noting how the baby shivered.

"I can walk y' know." Dean slurred, and Sam just chuckled, tucking the baby to his chest and trying to warm him.

Suddenly, the warm heated a few degrees and Dean sighed in happiness. Sam glanced over at Cas thankfully, and Cas smiled, standing and popping a kiss on Dean's head.

"I'm gonna get you dressed, okay?" Sam asked, setting Dean down on his feet and helping steady him as he stumbled lightly.

Cas reached over into the counter and handed Sam Dean's boxers, which he slipped on as non-invasively as he possibly could, while Cas pulled the too big sweatshirt over his head, which draped down to Dean's knees and made him look, and feel, very Little.

"Sam, I'm going to go make a bottle for Dean. Do you think you could get him a pacifier until then?" Cas asked, and Sam nodded, once more picking up the baby, and chuckling as he squeaked.

Castiel flew off, giving Sam full access to the door, which Cas has kindly left partially open. Sam carries Dean to his room, his Big room, and found a box that held a few emergency Little supplies, one of which being Dean's favorite pacifier. He grabbed it, thankful to see the plastic cover, and popped the cap off, offering it to Dean.

Dean took it into his mouth without complaint, giving it a few tentative sucks before going to town, snuggling into Sam's arms and closing his eyes. Sam's heartfelt so full he was afraid it would burst, and he wished for a camera to capture this precious moment.

He carefully carried his brother into the main room, where Rowena was helping Cas make a bottle for Dean. Sam smiles at the sight, seeing Cas watch the witch shake the bottle with an intensity only an angel could possess.

"Is he ready for his bottle?" Rowena asked, handing the bottle to Cas, who looked at it nervously but excitedly.

"Oh yeah. I'll hold him while you feed him, okay? Until we can get all the new furniture in and set up." Sam said, tugging the pack out of Dean's mouth, which caused a little whine.

Cas came over with Rowena at his side, holding the bottle awkwardly as he brought it up to Dean's lips. Rowena chuckled and corrected him, helping him bring the nipple of the bottle to the baby's lips. It took a few moments of coaxing for Dean to latch on, but when he did, he suckled immediately, drawing in big mouthfuls and letting out adorable little huffs and pants.

They all cooed and awed at his cuteness, and by the time the bottle was finished, he was as close to full headspace as they could get, but when he half-opened his eyes, they could see the pink of a Little was not glowing and was flickering oddly.

"Hey guys, I got your thing. Let's do this." Gabriel's voice appeared behind Rowena and Cas, and they turned around to see Gabriel covered in blood, leaves, glitter, and some kind of unidentifiable goo.

They all stared at Gabriel in complete shock, deemed speechless by the sight in front of them. Gabriel glanced at them and then back at himself, confused.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I’m hanging in there. This story, and all of your lovely comments have really helped me. I may not have my boyfriend anymore, but I feel like I’ll always have all of you out there to support me. If he didn’t love me for who I am (he broke up with me because he didn’t want a non-binary significant other), then it was better that it ended anyway. Sorry if that was too much information! I tend to be kinda transparent. Anyway, I hope you all are having a lovely day. More updates to come! I love you all!


	9. Our Little One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spell is cast, and the Caregivers go to the Classifications office to register their new beautiful baby boy.

"Is everything ready?"

Rowena surveyed the supplies lying on the floor, a large circle drawn with chalk, with several ancient runes etched into the side of the ring lay in the living room. Herbs and salts and crystals lay at specific points in the circle, and the center was marked with an Enochian rune that meant "to return."

"Looks like it's all set! Is he in his headspace?" Rowena asked Cas, who cradled the now sleeping baby Dean in his arms, a pacifier sticking cutely out of his mouth.

"Absolutely. Do you want me to wake him?"

"No, no, it's probably for the best he doesn't wake up. The spell is very long, and I don't want him moving too much." Rowena explained, and Cas nodded, pressing two fingers on Dean's forehead and deepening his sleep to ensure he wouldn't awaken during the spell.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road," Gabriel said, clapping his hands together and going to stand by Rowena's side.

Cas stepped over and placed the sleeping bundle on the floor, on his side, with a little pillow under his head to keep it cushioned from the cold floor. Dean curled up on his side, his breaths slow and calm as Cas stepped out of the circle.

"Alright. This will take a while; it's quite a long spell, so don't feel obliged to stay the whole time. I'll call you when all is said and done." Rowena said, before kneeling on the ground and extending her arms out over the circle, the book open in front of her with the spells written out.

_"Dhaibhsan a tha aig na seann dhiathan agus saoghal, bheir mi a' tagradh seo dhut. Anns a' chearcall seo de runes, bidh leanabh a'..."_

For the first few minutes of the chant, all three of Dean's nervous, yet excited Caregivers stayed close by Dean's side, watching as green magic flowed from each of the crystals around him and into his mind.

Quickly, however, the magic became less and less appealing, and Gabriel began to grow bored with it all. He sighed and shifted a few times before standing with a huff.

"Isn't there something more helpful we can do?" Gabriel whispered to his brother, who looked at him oddly.

" I know!" Sam exclaimed, causing the angels to shush him. "Oh, sorry. Anyway, why don't we start setting up Dean's new nursery! He agreed to have us be his Caregivers, and it's up to us to be the best Caregivers we can be." 

"That's a great idea, Sam. Gabriel and I will get all of the painting supplies into the room. Come and join us, and we can paint it." Cas said before he and his brother disappeared, leaving Sam with the chanting of a witch and a smile on his face.

******  
  


"When did you have so much time to get good at painting?" Sam asked the archangel as he painstakingly painted white clouds on the baby blue walls of the nursery.

"I spent thousands of years on earth. Pretty much any human activity that was originated before the modern era I've learned. Except for pottery. That stuff is hard." Gabriel explained, dipping his detail brush into the palate in his hand.

"You're really, really good," Sam said, looking around at the beautiful scenery on the walls. 

The room was covered in white and rose gold clouds, the right side of the room a baby blue that shifted into a vibrant pink, orange, and peach sunset, with intricate hot air balloons scattered around the room, each with little people looking down as if at the ground.

Sam was awed by the effort Gabriel put into the room. Honestly, he hadn't expected Gabriel to care much at all. He had suspected the archangel had disapproved of Sam and Castiel's choice to adopt Dean as their little.

"Gabriel, why are you doing all of this? I thought you didn't like Dean." Sam asked.

Gabriel nearly dropped his pencil out of shock, turning to Sam with a fiery look in his eyes that immediately caused Sam to tense in alarm. The look of indignation and fury in his eyes shocked both Sam and Cas.

" I love Dean, more than anything else in this world. He's my little; he's my baby. I want to give him the skies." Gabriel said defensively, making Sam and Cas smile.

" You may want to tell him that. He thinks you're angry at him. You've never even held him." Cas pointed out, and Gabriel's face fell in guilt and understanding.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, it's never been him! I was afraid, afraid to be a Caregiver. I felt guilty for killing him over and over and over. I avoided him. I made him feel unwanted, oh God." Gabriel rambled, a panicky, guilty look in his eyes.

Sam glances over at Cas, prompting him to do something for the upset seraph. Cas walked up and put a hand on Gabriel's shoulder, causing the archangel to look at him with an expression of devastation. Sam's heart went out to him.

"Dean loves you, Gabriel. He wants nothing more than for you to love him and want him. I'm sure if you explain what happened to him, all will be forgiven. But for now, just finish painting, and Sam and I can work on assembling the crib. You can talk to him when he's big again. Is that okay?" Cas said cautiously, and Gabriel lit up, a new determination alight in his eyes.

" Absolutely. This baby is going to have the most incredible room he could ever have." Gabriel said, getting back to work.

Sam let out a tiny sigh and smiled at Cas encouragingly, who grinned back with an accomplished smile.

" Alright, let's get this show on the road," Sam said, pulling out a large box with the crib in it. 

A strange word caught Sam's eye on the package, and after a few moments of looking, he realized it was the name of the cradle, dread-filled his stomach as he turned the box, seeing the dreaded symbol.

" What is it, Sam? Is there something wrong with this model? Is it cursed?" Cas asked, looking a bit frantic.

" No, but it might as well be. This is an IKEA box. We'll be lucky to have it done by Christmas." Sam complained, pulling out one of his knives to cut the tape off of the top.

Cas laughed, looking at the disdain on Sam's face as he cut open the box. He looked down at the human contraption, remembering reassembling Dean's molecules just so...

" Come on, Sam! How hard could it possibly be?"

  
******

" Can I smite it? I think I should smite it." Cas groaned, laying on his side next to a very confusing pile of wood.

Sam sat hunched as far as his spine would allow, glowering down at the instruction manual in front of him. He had been warned about IKEA before, but damn, this was tough.

" You guys almost done over there? It's been an hour. Rowena must be nearly finished with the spell. I've been checking in on her periodically via grace, but she just keeps chanting and chanting." Gabriel said.

" No, we aren't almost done. I'm almost completely convinced this is impossible. What could we have missed?" Sam grumbled, squinting at the paper as if it would give him the answer even though he'd practically memorized it by now.

" Give me that," Gabriel said, his hands covered in paint.

Sam made a weak protest as Gabriel snatched the paper from his hands, fluffing it out as white paint smeared over the edges. Gabriel looked at it for a moment, then up at the woodpile, then snapped his fingers, and in an instant, the structure was beautifully built, a pretty white crib that could be rocked if so desired, with pink and peach fluffy blankets.

" What? I tried that four times! How did you do that?" Cas exclaimed, sitting up indignantly to face his older brother, who looked down on him smugly.

"You forgot one of the screws, little bro. Next time, just ask me, okay?" Gabriel said, before turning back to the tiny, last section of the wall he had been touching up on.

" That's a lot of detail, Gabriel. You put a lot of thought into this." Sam complimented, making Gabriel smirk.

" You haven't seen the half of it. Watch." Gabriel stepped back from the wall and snapped his fingers.

Before their eyes, the walls came alive, the fires in the hot air balloons flickering to life, and the balloons beginning a slow drift across the sky, along with the clouds. Birds flew across the wall, and although they were silent, they were beautiful.

Sam watched, awestruck, along with Cas, their eyes glued to the beautiful scene before them. The balloons would disappear when they hit the door, only to be replaced by a new, unique aircraft on the other side of the door.

" And, it accurately expresses the time and weather of the outside world. When it rains in real life, it rains here. When it's nighttime, the peach will stretch across the sky before turning into the night. And the stars glow in the dark!" Gabriel said proudly.

" That is incredible, Gabriel. Dean will adore it." Cas began before he was interrupted by a call.

" Boys! I'm finished with the spell! It was 100% effective!" Rowena called, and the Caregivers bolted into action.

" You two stay here and finish the rest of the nursery. I'll watch the baby. And for Father's sake, be quick about it!" Gabriel said, before disappearing.

Sam and Cas made quick work of opening each package and setting everything up just so. Every piece of furniture fit the theme and color scheme exactly, and Sam suspected a little archangel mojo was in play.

But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Sam and Cas were working as quickly as they possibly could and that everything was going to be perfect for their baby.

******

  
"Hey, kiddo. You feeling alright?" Gabriel asked, approaching Dean cautiously.

Dean day up, smacking his lips oddly, making Gabriel realize he dropped his pacifier. Dean looked up at the archangel, and Gabriel was surprised to see that his eyes were bright and green, no signs of headspace at all.

"He's big," Gabriel muttered, looking to Rowena expectantly.

"He needs time to accept his headspace. It's a lot for someone to handle in one day. Besides, his headspace has just been healed. It's not as pushy as it would've been before." Rowena explained, and Gabriel nodded, relieved.

" Hey, Dean. Come on. Let's get you some coffee and a snack." Gabriel said, offering his hand to Dean, who gladly took it 

"I'll be going now. I have some other matters to attend to. Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything!" Rowena said, packing up her things quickly and waving Dean a goodbye, which he returned lazily.

" You ready to relax?" Gabriel asked once she was gone.

"Sounds great, feather duster," Dean said, stretching out as he stood, his muscles popping and cracking in a way that made Gabriel cringe.

" Okay, change of plans. I get you a snack, a cup of coffee, and a massage because Lord knows you could use one."

Dean smiled at Gabriel, a little confused as to why the Caregiver was so suddenly kind.

" Absolutely."

******

" Dean, I need to talk to you about something important."

Gabriel was deftly massaging the tension out of Dean's muscles, using a lovely vanilla scented Little's lotion. Dean was melting on the couch, groaning every time Gabriel worked out an especially stubborn knot.

" Alright. Shoot." Dean said, anxiety bubbling in his belly.   
"I want to apologize. I was neglectful, and mean to you at the beginning of all of this. You thought I was mad at you for lying. That's not it."

Dean relaxed a bit, though he was still on edge as he heard just how distressed the angel was. 

" I was afraid of being a Caregiver. I've never seen myself as a nurturing person. I was afraid I'd mess up. And after all of those times I killed you, over and over and over again, I felt...I felt like a failure."

Dean's eyes widened in shock, even though Gabriel couldn't see him, as he processed this information. Relief and acceptance flooded into him, making him feel light and happy. 

"Thanks for telling me, Gabriel. I know how annoying and hard feelings can be to deal with. It was really mature of you to talk to me about this. I appreciate it. And let's let bygones be bygones. What happened, it's water under the bridge, man." Dean said, causing Gabriel to smile happily.

" You're the best Little I could ever ask for, sugar. I can't wait for what comes next." Gabriel whispered, the words bringing tears to Dean's eyes.   
"Thanks for everything, Gabriel."

The two of them sat together in comfortable silence for maybe twenty more minutes, Gabriel carefully working to make sure that all of Dean's muscles were relaxed and pliant, and as he neared the end, Dean was almost asleep. 

" The nursery is finished!" Cas called out, walking into the room with Sam trailing close behind.

" Wha-?" Dean said, pushing himself up into a sitting position as Gabriel stood up off of the couch.

" Come on, darling. We have a present for you." Sam said, reaching his hand out to Dean, who took it gratefully. 

Sam was surprised as Dean clutched tightly onto Sam's hand even as he and the angels began to walk back to the nursery. He smiled at Dean, who was sleepy and yawning and dressed adorably in his sweatshirt. 

"Here it is, baby boy," Gabriel said, opening the door to reveal the room. 

The nursery was beautifully furnished with a crib, a changing table, a rocking chair, a bookshelf, a full-sized bed, a mobile, a baby swing, a bottle warmer, and other various furnishings across the room. 

Because it was nighttime, glittering silver stars painted the walls, with a lovely crescent moon and blue and silver hot air balloons with little glowing flames on them dotted around. The room was lit by the light the moon gave off, but a small dial on the wall by the cradle indicated the sun could be brightened or dimmed to Dean's pleasure. 

Dean looked around the room with tears in his widened eyes, the fat droplets escaping his eyes as awe and love filled his eyes. He looked at Gabriel in shock, and the angel nodded, gesturing to the room. 

Dean stepped inside warily, only letting go of Sam's hand when he had to, seeing a few stuffed animals on his bed that he didn't recognize, one being a beautiful white kitten with little stars across her back. He reached out and petted her gently, scooping her up and cuddling her to his chest. 

" You did all of this for me?" Dean asked tentatively, turning back to his Caregivers with a hopeful expression.

" Of course, sweetheart. Do you like it?" Gabriel asked nervously, his eyes mirroring the hopeful look in Dean's eyes. 

Dean leaped forward and pulled Gabriel into a big hug, sobbing into his chest. Gabriel returned the hug happily, a few stray tears falling down his cheeks. The sight made Sam and Cas grin in happiness. 

" I love it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! Can I just say, wow, you guys have been nothing but amazingly supportive of me and this story. I am so so happy to have you all. I’m doing much better now, and with the help of my family, my writing, and my therapy, I’m finding new ways to deal with breakups and other issues. Everything you guys have done and said have been a wonderful help. I’m so thankful for all of you guys! Stay safe and wash your hands! I love you all!


	10. Where The Light Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets officially registered and his Caregivers have a party for him. Cute names are established!

Pain lanced through Dean as Alastair carved his blade into Dean's flesh. He did everything in his power to keep from screaming, but an awful howl ripped through his lungs anyway as his femur snapped in a jagged break.

"Please, please. Stop." Dean begged, causing the demon to let out a nasally laugh, mocking and cruel. 

"Come on, Righteous Man! You used to put up a fight! Is this too much for you? Well, you know that all you have to do..."

Alastair stood, gripping Dean's jaw tightly with one hand and forcing him to look into his eyes. He danced a blade across his face before flipping it around, hilt first, and offering it to Dean. Dean looked at the knife with desperation and hatred, sneering and whimpering all at once.

"...is say yes."

"No!" Dean screamed, straining, and kicking out his legs as hard as he could.

He had to get out. He had to get free; he couldn't take this anymore!

"Dean. Dean! Dean, sweetheart, you have to wake up!" 

Dean shot up, causing the person standing over him to jolt back to avoid being slammed back. The room around him was dark, with tiny silver pinpoints of light and little orange flames flickering around him. White light bathed the place, which Dean realized came from the crescent moon painted above him. 

"Dean. Dean, can you hear me, baby boy? Is everything okay?" The same voice from earlier asked, and Dean's head snapped to the side, looking at the shadowy figure standing over his crib. 

Dean panicked, backing up as he saw a shadow standing there, glowing yellow eyes the only thing indicating what it could be. Dean began to hyperventilate as he remembered the unsettling gaze of yellow eyes, tensing up and rummaging through the fluffy begging in search of a weapon, never taking his eyes off of the shadows.

Then, the light on the room brightened just enough for Dean to see the pronounced silhouette of his brother standing there in nothing but sweats, looking tired and confused as yellow light glimmered from his eyes. 

"Sammy." Dean choked out, a flood of tears suddenly springing to his eyes as he relaxed, hunching over, and crying out his terror. 

"Oh, darling. Shhh, it's okay, it's okay. I'm here. Can I touch you?" Sam asked, stepping forward and opening his arms for a hug over the bars of Dean's crib. 

Instead of replying, Dean launched himself forward, still tangled in his peach and pink blanket, and clutching in his little kitten stuffed toy. He clasped his hands on Sam's shirt, trying desperately to pull Sam closer to him, to gain the comfort his brother gave him. Desperation and exhaustion made his movements jerky and weak.

Sam hefted his brother into his arms effortlessly, cooing softly, and Dean clung to him, shoving his face into Sam's chest as he sobbed. Sam pet his hair steadily, remembering that repetition calmed him. With a soft voice, he counted aloud, breathing in time with the numbers to try to coax Dean to calm down.

"We heard screaming, is everything alright? Is the baby okay?" Cas asked, opening the door to reveal him and Gabriel, their weapons clutched, hidden in their hands.

"He's okay. It was a nightmare." Sam explained, rocking Dean gently as his sobs reduced to hiccups.

Dean turned his head to look over at his other Caregivers, his bright, pink eyes glimmering with tears. He tensed as he caught sight of their blades, but Sam shushed him gently, bouncing him a few times until he relaxed.

"Oh, another nightmare," Cas muttered, and both Gabriel and Cas looked at him oddly. 

"Back when he was on that witch case when Gabriel saved his life, He stayed in a motel one night and had a horrible nightmare from his time in hell. It was so bad I heard him praying to me. He wet the bed even when he was big, and still mostly Neutral. It must've been worse because he hadn't taken his suppressants." Cas explained, and the angels looked at Dean worriedly, watching as Sam cooed softly at him.

Cas stepped forward, leaning down towards the crib and shifting a few of the blankets to reveal a dark wet spot, and the stench of urine filled the air, making Dean whimper. His face glowed red with humiliation and horror, causing him to burrow his face into Sam's shirt. Sam panicked slightly as the waterworks made a resurgence, immediately turning his attention back to Dean.

Surprised at the sight of the accident, Sam slipped his hand to the crotch of Dean's boxers to find them wet. Dean squirmed in his arms, mortified at what he'd done. He clicked his tongue gently when Dean fussed, bouncing him a few times to get him to settle. 

"I think a bath, a bottle, a diaper, and a change of sheets are in order," Gabriel said. 

"Here, Cas. You've never made a bottle before, I have. You bathe him, I'll get his bottle ready, and Gabe can take care of the diaper and the bed. Sound okay to everyone?" Sam said, bringing a sleepy Dean over to Castiel, who took him into his arms seamlessly. 

"Sure, give me a fun job." Gabriel groaned sarcastically, walking up to the crib and crinkling his nose as the scent hit him.

"Be a champ. You've got this." Sam said, following Cas as he carried the angel out of the room. 

Cas turned the corner towards the largest bathroom in the bunker, which Gabriel had modified to have a tub big enough for two people and to make everything safer. A few shelves sat next to the tub, holding everything in a much more accessible area. 

"Okay, darling. Let's get these icky clothes off of you, hmm?" Cas said softly, pulling the baby away from him. 

He smiled as Dean made a soft noise of protest, his eyes closed, and his lips smacking. Cas quickly stripped his clothes, smiling as he whined and tried to cling onto him. Dean felt a bit of embarrassment at the blatant display of his lack of self-control, but Cas was just so _warm_.

"Hush, darling. I've got you." Cas muttered, using his grace to put his dirtied clothes into the washing machine.

Gently, he scooped Dean up, placing him in the bath and turning on the water. As it got to the right temperature, he put in the plug, forgoing the bubbles as he saw Dean nearly falling asleep. He chuckled a little as Dean relaxed in the water, unconsciously sinking as deep in the water as possible to let it envelop him.

" I don't think we need to wash your hair today, do we, little one? Just your body this time. No need for you to be extra cold." Cas muttered, the light from his eyes and the nightlight in the bathroom the only light in the room. 

With a little effort, Cas used his grace to light the room, grabbing the washcloth off of the shelves and getting it wet. With some quilting and concentration, he managed to find the soap bottle, lathering the washcloth in the sweet-smelling substance. 

When he turned back to Dean, he saw him curled upright his head on his knees, sucking and gnawing on his fingers. Cas chuckled and gently tugged them out, quick to replace it with a pacifier that he summoned from one of their many boxes stashed around the house.

The rest of the bath was peaceful, Dean leaning heavily on Cas as he washed him carefully, dropping little kisses on Dean's soft hair. 

Cas smiles when he felt a purr rise from Dean's throat, showing how content their baby indeed was. He replied with a purr of his own, the rumbling pushing Dean even closer to sleep. Cas smiled at the baby's reaction to his rumbles, his wings puffing a bit in pride.

When Dean was finally clean, Cas was reluctant to move, wanting to cuddle with his baby forever. He knew that he would have a fussy baby as soon as the water drained, exposing him to the cold, but it had to be done at some time. Cas figured it was better to do it before Dean fell back asleep completely. But how he wished he could stay there the whole night, unmoving. Instead, he turned the water off and drained it, disturbing Dean and making him mewl in discomfort. 

" I know, dear." Cas shushed, grabbing the fluffy towel that sat by the edge of the tub, warming it with grace and scooping Dean out of the tub.

Dean immediately cuddled into him, his cold nose pressing into Cas's neck. He wrapped his wings around Dean, watching as he instinctively cuddled further into the touch, smiling at the action. It was a good sign that Dean was as receptive to the angel's touch as he was, showing that he accepted him fully as his Caregiver.

Gently, he carried Dean back into the nursery, where Gabriel and Sam waited. They both stood by the changing table, which was thankfully equipped with pretty pink cushions to keep Dean comfortable, as well as a cute little pillow covered in hot-air balloons. Had to keep a theme going, ya know?

Cas set Dean down on the changing table, on top of the already laid out diaper, before stepping back, gesturing to Gabriel. Gabriel gave his little brother and unsure look, and Cas nodded encouragingly, flicking his eyes over to the very sleepy Dean.

Gabriel stepped forward and awkwardly, but carefully fastened on the diaper, looking very proud as he stepped back. Dean laid there, nearly dead to the world, his eyes fluttering closed every so often. 

"I'll feed him." Sam offered, picking Dean up carefully. 

Dean whined a little, waking up as Sam carried him over to the rocking chair. As Sam began to try to feed him, plucking the pacifier out of his mouth, he began to babble cutely, refusing to put the nipple into his mouth. Sam looked at Dean with concern and confusion, trying several more times again before looking over to Cas for help. He shook his head, his eyebrows scrunched.

"No! Noooo! I wan' Daddy!" Dean whined, causing the three men to freeze. 

"But who's Daddy?" Cas asked, and Gabriel shot him a look. 

"It's obviously you, Cas. He's not crying for me; I haven't even held him." Gabriel pointed out, and Cas felt a warm glow spread through him, his wings flaring out in happiness as he stepped forward. 

"Daddy!" Dean called when he spotted him, making the most adorable grabby hands at the angel. 

Cas practically glowed with happiness as he saw Dean stretching his arms out as far as he could towards the angel, the sight one he wished he could photograph.

Good-naturedly, Sam stood, passing the baby to Cas and letting him settle. When he handed Cas the bottle, he quickly slipped it into Dean's mouth, watching happily as Dean suckled happily on the formula. 

"That's so freaking cute, Cas. Congratulations!" Sam chirped, no hint of ill-will in his tone.

"Thanks, Sam."

Dean emptied the bottle slowly, stopping halfway through as his eyes got too heavy to keep open. Cas set the bottle aside and burped the baby, smiling as he picked him up and placed the pacifier in his mouth. 

Then, he set down a sleeping Dean, kissing him on the cheek.

"Daddy loves you. Goodnight, baby."

******

"Dean, sweetheart. It's time to wake up. Are you big enough to get up on your own, or do you need my help?" Gabriel's voice pulled Dean from his sleep, making him groan and open up his eyes. 

His nursery was dark, though he could tell from the wall that it was late into the morning already. The sun let off a soft yellow glow, but Dean knew that when he turned the dial on the wall, it would get much brighter. His eyes ached at the thought, and he scrunched up his face in distaste, smacking his lips together.

"I'm fine. Thanks, Gabe." Dean said gruffly, sitting up and stretching out in his bed.

With a nod and a smile, Gabe left the room, leaving the door open a crack on his way out. Dean watched him go, his brain still fuzzy from sleep and the last traces of his headspace. With a shake of his head, he shifted and began to stand up.

Suddenly, Dean froze as fabric crinkled between his legs, and he jolted as he realized he was dressed in nothing but a diaper. One part of him wanted to rip the offensive object off of his body, afraid that someone would see it and hate him for it. 

The other part of him, the newly healed Little side of him, relished in the comfort and protection it provided him. He knew it was normal, in the back of his mind, but all of his logic was screaming at him to tear it off as fast as possible. Torn, he froze, his thoughts racing as he tried his best not to move.

In the end, Dean knew he wasn't comfortable enough with all this Little stuff to wear a diaper when he wasn't feeling super small yet, so even though he was still kind of in his headspace, he pulled the diaper off and awkwardly climbed over the bars of the crib. 

Eventually, he managed to get down, turning the dial on his wall and making bright sunlight bathe the room. He squinted a bit before opening the door leading out of his room, quickly walking to his Big room and grabbing some clothes, thankfully slipping them on. 

The T-shirt and jeans felt scratchy and uncomfortable on his sensitive skin as he pulled them on, but he ignored it, shoving his Little headspace down and relishing in the feeling of control he had. Something unsettled and calmed him about the feeling of needing someone, being utterly reliant on them.

Confidently, Dean strolled out of the room, walking into the kitchen to see Gabriel and Sam cooking a beef stew, while Castiel sat at the table, hunched over a bunch of paperwork with a frown on his face. Dean headed straight for Cas, looking at him with pity and understanding as Cas growled at the documents.

Cas looked up and smiled at Dean as he approached, his mood brightening as his blue eyes met Dean's. Dean flashed Cas a warm smile, coming to stand by the table and gaze out at the array of papers scattered about. Cas smiled in return and gestured for Dean to sit next to him, which Dean obeyed immediately, happy to be directly included.

"I've been signing all of the necessary forms to assign us as your legal guardians. I had to change a few things, but it's in all of our real names. Except for the last names, though, I borrowed Jimmy's for that." Cas explained, pointing to the end of the contract that required Dean's signature. 

Dean hesitates for a moment, faced with such a big decision. But then, he realized that he wouldn't want ever to be someone else's Little. They needed him, and more than anything, he needed them. Jesus, it was too early for this shit. But hey, as some famous person once said, "The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago; the second-best time is today.

So, he accepted the pen Cas had set next to his hand, pulling the nearest contract towards him. Neatly, he shifted through the papers, signing each document with certainty and growing excitement. Cas watched on with contentment and relief, overjoyed at the excited look on Dean's face.

Finally, after Dean's hand had begun to ache and Cas looked like he wanted to strangle someone, Gabriel brought over a large pot of stew, and Sam came to help clean up the massive pile of papers that they had accumulated. 

"Dean, could you set the table, please?" Gabriel asked, and Dean nodded, standing and going into the kitchen. 

Once the plates and bowls were set out, everyone sat down and began to eat. Dean ate the hearty stew happily, the spices and beefy flavor dancing pleasantly on his tongue. His Caregivers watched with amusement as he scarfed it down almost too quickly, moaning ever so often. Cas chuckled and wiped off his face as a dribble of liquid ran down his chin.

"Dean, we have a question to ask you. You saw that we have all of your adoption papers ready. Would you like to go to the Official Classifications Office today to register us as your Caregivers?" Sam asked, and Dean glanced up to see his three Caregivers looking at him hopefully.

Dean chewed for a moment, thinking, considering the pros and cons of waiting. But in the end, he knew there was no reason to wait. He was finally happy for the first time in years, and he couldn't imagine ever choosing anyone else. They were all safer now, safe and warm, and content. He loved his Caregivers more than anyone else in his life, and he had been hunting for so long...

"Yes. Absolutely." Dean said confidently.

"Wonderful. We can go as soon as we're done eating."

They finished their meal pretty quickly, cleaning up the table with a wave of grace. Dean pulled on his shoes, and they were off, with Dean sitting reluctantly in the passenger seat as Sam drove, leaving the two angels in the backseat, which was amusing. 

After an hour or so of driving, they arrived at the OCO, which was a collection of four buildings. On the far right, labeled SC registration, was the building they would be going in today. The other buildings were for other matters involving the paperwork side of classification, like a DMV of sorts.

The four walked into the registration room, the sheer number of people earning them a few odd looks, which they happily ignored. The room was mostly empty, though there were a few people in the line ahead of them. Dean watched as an Omega and Alpha couple carried a regressed teen whose eyes were glowing a pink a little brighter than Dean's. The two women held their little girl in their arms like she was an actual baby, tickling her as she laughed and kicked out.

Cas caught Dean watching them intensely and put his arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. Dean looked up at Cas and smiled shyly. Cas grinned jovially back at him, popping a kiss on his nose and petting his hair gently.

Eventually, they got up to their desk. The process was long and painfully dull, much like getting a driver's license, but without the test. The Caregivers had to prove that they had enough income to support a Little, and themselves, which Dean was surprised Cas was able to pull off by listing he and Gabriel as FBI agents, and Sam as a psychologist.

The scam passed by without a hitch, though, and Dean suspected that a little more than a bit of angel mojo was involved in the process. Gabriel turned to Dean and covered his hand in ink, the cold sensation causing Dean to giggle cutely. Together, Cas, Sam, and Gabriel brought Dean's hand onto the paper, making a dark mark on the paper and sealing the contract.

"Okay. Are you ready to make it official?" The kind woman at the front desk asked, gesturing to a photo booth off to the side.

Sam, Cas, and Gabriel smushed together on the little bench, with Sam in the middle, before Sam reached out and tugged Dean onto his lap. Dean let out a surprised laugh and looked up at the woman holding the camera.

"Say cheese!" She chirped, taking a picture just as Sam kissed Dean's cheek.

Once the picture was taken, she pulled the camera away from her face and looked at the picture there, smiling politely. With a smooth movement, she showed the small image to the three Caregivers and their Little, causing them to coo happily as a big blush bloomed on Dean's face.

"Adorable. Now just wait here, and I'll get your certificate stamped, and you can all sign it."  
The woman came back a moment later, holding a cream-colored paper with a golden stamp, with four lines on which to sign. On the top, it said, "Certificate of Little Registry," and just below it, was the charming picture of Gabriel and Cas smiling at the camera, and Sam placing a kiss on Dean's cheek. 

They all signed quickly, hugging and kissing and celebrating when all was through, Castiel scooping Dean up and parading out of the OCO with the confidence of a god. On their way out, one of the ladies from earlier, the pretty blonde Omega, stopped Cas and the others with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Hello," she said timidly, her Alpha coming up behind her with her Little resting on her hip. "I just wanted to congratulate you on your registry. It's always nice to see a big happy family. Your Little is adorable, by the way."

Dean looked up at the woman in surprise, meeting her hazel eyes with his partially green. She smiled sweetly at him and booped him on the nose, causing him to giggle and scrunch his nose.

"Thank you so much. Your Little is beautiful. You two are fortunate." Gabriel replied politely, making the Alpha puff up with pride.

"Thank you. Now, we'll be on our way, but I wish you both the best." The Alpha said, before gently leading her wife over to the desk with a fond smile on her face,

"You hear that, baby? Someone's a charming little boy!" Sam cooed, blowing a raspberry on Dena's stomach and making him break out in a fit of laughter.

And so, with vigor and joy, the Caregivers left the OCO, grinning like a flock of Cheshire cats. But hell, they were happy. Nothing could get in their way. They were finally content.

But they had every right to be satisfied, every right to feel confident. Dean was finally, officially, theirs.   
  


******  
  


"Happy adoption day, munchkin," Gabriel said to Dean as they pulled up to the bunker. 

Dean smiled and went to respond when his mouth stretched open into a giant yawn. After trying to talk through the yawn, the baby finally gave up, too little, and too tired to keep expending energy on something that seemed so futile. His eyes were glowing totally pink now. Sam knew that it was time for a bottle, a diaper, and then he could put the baby down.

"Okay, Gabriel, would you mind making the bottle? Cas, you can help me change him." Sam said, parking the car and exiting, waking over to Dean and unbuckling his seatbelt, pulling him out and into his arms. 

"Papa..." Dean muttered as Sam straightened, causing him to freeze. 

"Guys, he called me Papa! He called me Papa!" Sam whisper yelled as he peppered the baby's face with kisses, drawing another, annoyed, "Papa!" from the Little.

"Congrats, Sam! That's awesome!" Gabriel said, his voice colored with sadness.

Cas glanced over at his brother curiously, the disappointment in the archangel's voice unfamiliar to him. Gabriel met his eyes and offered him a fabricated smile, his eyes reflecting with a tired, defeated look.

"Your time will come," Cas said, patting his shoulder sympathetically before they both disappeared as Sam carried Dean to the nursery. 

Cas and Sam picked out a soft, cute little onesie for Dean, getting him into a diaper and then getting him all cuddly. They picked up his kitty from where she lay in his crib, thankfully clean despite his accident the night before, and tucked it into his arms.

The sun in the nursery was very nearly out of the sky by the time they got him all nice and ready for bed, carrying him out into the living room where Gabriel stood by the choice with a warm bottle of formula in hand.

"So, who's feeding tonight, Gabriel said, looking at Cas, who held Dean swaddled up in a pretty peach blanket.

"How about you, Gabriel? You haven't held him yet. Now is as good a time as any." Sam suggested, and Gabriel's eyes widened, but he nodded gratefully, sitting on the couch and letting Cas place the sleepy bundle in his lap. 

Gabriel's heart melted as he looked down at his baby, who immediately cuddled into Gabriel's warmth, his soul reaching out and tangling with Gabriel's grace.

Gabriel slipped the bottle into Dean's mouth, cooing as Dean latched on immediately, drinking the bottle hungrily. He glanced up at Cas and Sam with a joyous look on his face, making them smile fondly. 

They had their baby, and as far as Gabriel was concerned, everything was just perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! Happy Easter for those of you that celebrate. For those of you that don’t, I don’t either! I’m a Wiccan myself, so I don’t really have an attachment to any holiday except Christmas because let’s be honest, that’s not even about religion anymore for those of us who aren’t Christian. Anyway, I hope everyone’s doing lovely! I love you all!


	11. Always and Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has some struggles with his headspace, but he’s never alone in his issues anymore.

"Come on, sweetheart. It's time to wake up." A gentle voice pulled Dean from his sleep, lulling him awake slowly.

He opened his eyes to see Gabriel standing over his crib, slowly turning the dial on the wall to bathe the room in the early morning light. Dean scrunched up his face as the room brightened, the light hitting his eyes and making them ache.

"Nooo!" Dean whined, cuddling into his blankets and turning away from Gabriel, clutching his kitty to his chest as he longed to go back to sleep.

"Someone's feeling Little this morning. Come on, munchkin, let's get you into a diaper." Gabriel cooed, scooping up a fussy Dean and carrying him across the room, relishing the feeling of finally being comfortable enough in his role to hold the baby.

Happily, he carried Dean through the nursery, cooing softly at him and pressing a litany of kisses all around his face. His mood shifted, however, when he placed Dean on the changing table, and he began to squirm aggressively, clearly adverse to being put in a diaper.

"No, I don't want a diaper! They're icky." Dean complained, kicking out his legs as Gabriel attempted to remove the sleeping pants Cas had put on him the night before.

It had been a few days since Dean had been officially registered as a Little, and Sam, Gabe, and Cas his Caregivers, but things weren't in any kind of routine yet. There were several aspects of regression that Dean fought vehemently, one of which being diapers, and unless he was on the verge of sleep, bottles, and bath time. He claimed, quite insistently, that he could still function on his own just fine. 

Gabriel wasn't having any of the little boy's protests, however, as he gripped his ankles tightly, lifting him up and deftly removing his garments in one quick movement. Dean squealed in protest, kicking at Gabriel's hand with all of his strength, tears beginning to form in his eyes. For a moment, Gabriel felt guilty.

"Dean, lovely. We've talked about this already. You're just a little baby. You must have protection for you and for us." Gabriel explained patiently, still holding Dean's legs high in the air as Dean continued to struggle.

Gabriel sighed and slipped the diaper under Dean, placing him down and quickly fastening his diaper as Dean groaned and covered his face, his cheeks and neck flushed red with mortification. Finally, Dean's legs went slack, and Gabriel rested for a moment, panting at the fight Dean had put up. A quick glance at Dean's face revealed that he was no closer to relaxing than before.

"Let's go, darling," Gabriel huffed, pulling Dean into his arms.

Dean, however, was _not_ having it. Invigorated, he squirmed violently, shocking Gabriel and causing him to tighten his grip on Dean. In response, Dean growled, pushing against him with fiery pink eyes that began to flicker back to green, which happened more and more often lately. Gabriel felt anxiety flicker through him as he anticipated a fight.

"Let me down now," Dean demanded, determined to get out of the archangel's arms if he had to scream bloody murder to do it. 

"No, Dean. You're fighting your headspace again, I can see it in your eyes. We've talked about this before, honey, but I guess we should talk about it again with your Daddies." Gabriel grumbled, shifting his grip on Dean so that his squirming and struggling did nothing more than tire him out. 

Gabriel carried a very furious, very cranky Dean out of the nursery, to where Cas was waiting in the kitchen, doing his best to try to figure out how to properly make sandwiches. Sam has gone out on a grocery run, leaving the two angels alone with the baby. Cas was facing away from Gabriel, struggling to spread mayonnaise over a slice of bread properly.

"Good morning, Gabriel. Good morning Dean." Cas said, his voice frustrated as he accidentally cut through his third slice of bread.

He turned around at the sound of grunts and caught sight of an irritated archangel holding on remarkably tightly to a very squirmy Dean. Trying to salvage the piece of bread in his hands, Cas only tore it further, finally throwing the ruined piece back onto the counter. Cas sighed and gave up on the sandwiches, walking over to Dean and frowning as he saw the flickering pink light in his eyes. 

"Dean, baby. You don't have to fight everything so hard. We want you to be Little, we love caring for you. We need someone to care for. We love you big too, but this isn't healthy. Just let go, sweetheart, your Daddy, and Gabe are here to catch you." Cas said soothingly, and he watched hopefully as Dean relaxed, his eyes still flickering madly. 

At that moment, Dean almost gave in. The temptation was nearly impossible to resist, but when John's voice replayed in the back of his head, calling him disgusting, and many other offensive terms, his passion was renewed.

Cas's face fell as he watched a fire of pain and passion light up in Dean's eyes, wishing that he could take that pain away and just let his little one be happy without having to deal with the weight of his past.

It hurt Dean's Caregivers to see him fighting his Little side so hard, trying to be Big when he so clearly wasn't. Cas caught sight of the diaper under Dean's shirt and realized what must've triggered all of this fuss.

" Let me down. I don't want to be Little." Dean spat, and both angels wrinkled their nose at the bitter taste of Dean's lie. 

However, unwilling to push Dean too far, Gabriel set him down. Both the hand Cas panicked as Dean began to waver, his legs unsteady as his mind begged to regress, but when they tried to help him, he swatted their hands away and bolted to his Big room. 

Though both Cas and Gabriel tried to stop him, Dean slipped past them, slamming his door behind him like a besotted teenager. The sound brought a frown to Cas's face, the disobedience, and fight, making him uncomfortable.

Gabriel growled low in his throat as his protective, parental instincts flared up, his eyes burning a fiery yellow. The archangel's wings flared out defensively as he began to pace the living room floor, Cas standing off to the side, watching helplessly. 

"He's my baby, Cas. I have to help him, I want to provide for him. But he isn't letting me, and it's _infuriating_! Why doesn't he understand that it's _okay_ that we love him! "Gabriel said, his growls intensifying as he paced, rumbling through the room. 

" I know, Gabriel. I know you're frustrated. But he's confused. He's just a baby, and he doesn't want to be a burden. You're doing everything you can, okay? Just give him some time." Cas said soothingly, reaching out his grace to his brother.

Gabriel eagerly accepted Cas's comfort, calmed by the peace the angel was offering him. They stood there like that for a few minutes, Gabriel seething, and Cas doing as much as he could to calm his brother down.

" I feel like such a failure, Cassie. I'm supposed to help him to provide for him. Take control in every situation and make sure he never worries about a thing. But this is so hard on him..." Gabriel's voice was cut off as tears gathered in his throat, effectively choking off the rest of his words.

Cas looked at his brother with sympathy, unsure of what to do, and worried about both Gabriel and Dean. He stood and walked past Gabriel, who ignored him as he passed, still self-deprecating and worried.

Cas went to stand outside of Dean's room, knocking on the door gently. He received no answer and tried the knob, which was locked. He could feel the frustration and self-hatred rolling off of Dean in waves, the unpleasant sensations making his instincts spike.

" Dean, what's wrong? Is everything okay in there?" Cas called

" Just leave me alone," Came the grumbled response, and Cas raised one eyebrow, severely unimpressed. 

It took all of his willpower not to unlock the door, walk into the baby's room, and scoop him up. He wanted to shower him in kisses, give him a bottle, play with some of their new toys, hell, anything would be better than watching helplessly as his brother and his baby suffered.

" Dean, please open the door." Cas tried again, and it took a few minutes before he received a response.

" I need to be alone right now, Cas. Please just give me some time." 

Cas knew when to back off, so even though it killed him, he stepped away from the door, walking away from the room before slamming his fist into the solid concrete wall as frustration bubbles up in him.

However, he knew there was nothing he could do, so he went back into the kitchen, threw out the sandwiches, and waited.

By the time Sam came home nearly an hour later, Gabriel has begun to pace again, and Cas was sitting at the table, thinking profoundly and glancing up at the door to Dean's room nervously.

" What happened?" Sam asked as soon as he walked through the door, carrying an ungodly amount of grocery bags hanging from either arm. 

" Our baby is not having a good day today," Cas explained, flicking his gaze to Sam.

Sam's eyes widened minutely as he looked at Gabriel, who paced around the room in a frenzy, muttering frustrated rants under his breath. Setting the bags down, he sat next to Cas at the table, letting out a tired sigh and rubbing his scruff with his hand.

" What happened?"

Cas explained the situation as calmly as possible, watching as Sam's face darkened as the story progressed. By the time he was done, Sam had looked exhausted, and Gabriel was glowering at the ground. 

" I'm gonna go check on him. I'm sure he's struggling." Sam sighed, his eyes softly glowing as he stepped past Gabriel and towards Dean's Big room.

Once he was out of sight of the angels and in view of the door, Sam let out another sigh, not knowing exactly how to handle the situation. He stepped towards Dean's room, giving the door a gentle knock. 

" Hey sugar, can I come in?" Sam asked as kindly as he could, keeping his voice gentle.

For a while, Sam didn't get a response. Just silence and disappointment. After almost a minute, he sighed once more and turned to leave when a heart-wrenching sob, muffled by the door, reached his ears.

Without asking, he immediately opened the door, his eyes widening in shock as he saw the chaos inside.

Around the room were piles of clothes, each discarded and inside out, as if tossed away after a day of being worn, but they were all perfectly clean. A switchblade lay open on the floor in front of him, traces of blood on the sharp edge, making Sam's breath hitch in panic.

Off to the side lay a discarded, torn diaper, unused and destroyed in a fluffy massacre. Next to it lay Dean's little white kitten, unscathed but unceremoniously tossed. In the center of the mess sat a sobbing, very naked Dean, with blood dripping down his right arm from a jagged cut in his hand, and his face buried in his hands.

" Dean?! Dean, baby, what happened? You're hurt!" Sam exclaimed, rushing over to scoop Dean up before he was stopped by Dean's cry.

" No! No, don't touch me!" 

The baby was shaking, blood still dripping from the cut in his hand, but his palms were facing outward, and his face was ducked behind them, turned away as if Sam was going to hurt him.

Sam immediately rocked back in his heels, holding his hands up to show that he had no weapons. The cry caught the attention of the two seraphs, who ran into the room on high alert, immediately surveying the scene before them and gasping.

" What the hell? What's going on?" Gabriel asked, all anger gone from his voice, instead replaced by concern and fear.

" I don't know. He wouldn't let me touch him. I think he's stuck between headspaces." Sam explained, and the angels shared a nervous glance.

When a Little or a Submissive fell in between headspaces, it could cause a severe amount of psychological damage and confusion, their Little and Big, or whatever headspace they fell into, fought against each other violently, causing the SC to think they were in danger, and could cause irrational or erratic behavior, or panic attacks.

" I'm so sorry. Please, please, forgive me. I know I'm a burden, I know I should've stayed on suppressants. I should just leave, give you guys the chance to be happy. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that I was too much." Dean said suddenly, making all of the Caregivers snap to attention.

" No, stop that. You aren't leaving, you are not a burden, and we have no reason to forgive you. You're struggling, baby boy. We all understand that. You leaving wouldn't make any of us happy, and you will never, ever go back on suppressants again. We love you so so much, my beautiful boy. We want to take care of you, and we want to love you. You're hurt, sweetheart. Please, let us take care of you. Just let go, baby. Let go. We're all here to catch you." Cas said, inching closer to the baby, his yellow eyes boring into Dean's soul. 

Dean fought it. He fought the fuzzy headspace that had been pushing against him so hard for the last hour. Dean fought against the happy, warm feeling in his chest. He was a burden, a waste of time and money and space. He had fought his headspace for so long.

But when he looked up and saw Cas sitting in front of him, Sam at his side, Gabriel standing behind them, such love and concern and protectiveness in their eyes, each one radiating enough Caregiver pheromones to make a Sub drop, he felt happy. At peace.

He trusted them. And so, with a sob, he nodded his head, and in an instant, he was cradled close to Cas's chest. Cas began to softly cry, rocking Dean back and forth and muttering reassurances into his ear. 

Gabriel's hand came to rest in his hair, running his fingers through it comfortingly as Cas and Dean cried. Dean felt a wave of grace wash over him, healing the cut on his hand and cleaning up the blood and clothes around him. 

Sam moved away from them for a moment, making Dean whine and call for his Papa, but Sam quickly returned, holding Dean's soft little kitten out to him and cuddling close to the baby. Dean pulled the cat close to his chest, gripping Cas's trench coat and Sam's shirt with all of his strength.

Gabriel then placed his hands over Cas and Sam. Dean felt a wave of dizziness before the three of them were suddenly sitting together on a vast rocking chair, with Cas on one said, Sam on the other, and Gabriel in the middle, with Dean curled up on their laps. 

" How did you do that?" Sam asked, and Gabriel shushed him, his hand returning to Dean's hair. 

Another wave of grace washed over him, and Dean was suddenly outfitted in a diaper and a soft T-shirt. Dean flinched, the diaper immediately making him tense and grow uncomfortable, immediately regretting accepting Cas's comfort, before Gabriel leaned down and whispered against Dean's ear. 

" We've got you, sugar. All Littles of your age wear diapers. There's no reason to be ashamed. Your Daddies and I have got you. We would never make you do anything that wasn't for your benefit. Just relax and let us take care of you."

Dean immediately relaxed, finally letting his headspace wash over him entirely as he nuzzled into his kitty, warm and content and safe as his Caregiver's hands came to massage different parts of his legs, back and scalp, making him melt instantly. 

" I love you, Mama," Dean muttered, causing the archangel to freeze before slowly resuming his movements. 

Tear's glimmered in the angel's eyes as he leaned down and kissed his baby on the head, Cas and Sam smiling at Gabriel supportively. 

" I love you too, sugar. Always and forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I hope everyone is doing lovely today. I know today was Monday, and Mondays suck, but hopefully this brightened your day a bit. I love you all!


	12. The Coven of First Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally settles into a routine with his Caregivers, when Rowena stops by with a gift, and a warning.

When Dean awoke from his nightmare, he was alone in his nursery, and his diaper was warm and wet. His breaths came in panicked huffs as the terror from a new nightmare crawled through his veins like an icy poison, threatening to paralyze him.

Looking up, Dean notices that it was still early in the night, around one or two in the morning. The half moon was high above him, it’s weak glow helping to push away the last tendrils of the nightmare. But the fear, the desperation, remained.

Dean tried to lay back down to fall back asleep, but every time his eyes closed he saw the horrifying image of Castiel, no, his Daddy torn up with an angel blade lodged in his throat.

Tears rushed down Dean’s face, hot and unpleasant as he tried and failed to hold them back. Knowing that the only way he was going to get any sleep tonight was if he saw Daddy with his own two eyes, safe and sound, without even a hint of blood anywhere on him.

Dean slipped out of his crib, a pink blanket wrapped loosely around his shoulders and his kitty clutched tightly to his chest. With unsteady, toddling steps, Dean walked over to his door, opening it as quietly as he could before slipping out to find Daddy. 

Lately, the angels had found a form of sleeping that they performed in the night that allowed them to regain lost grace and keep a stronger connection with heaven, healing them and helping them regain their strength. Each had their own rooms, and Daddy’s was the farthest from his nursery, and Papa’s the closest.

Dean passed by Sam’s with no issue, his door cracked open just enough for Dean to see that his Papa was sleeping soundly, his face buried in his pillow. As he passed by his Mama’s room, he itched to open his door and check in him, but Mama wasn’t who he was really worried about.

His tears began to flow faster as he approached his Daddy’s door, the darkness of the hallway and the uncertainty of the situation frightening and disorienting to the baby. He opened the door with a shaky hand, his grip on his kitty tightening. 

In the shadowy darkness of the room, he saw his Daddy splayed across the bed, looking peaceful, and to Dean’s immense relief, completely unharmed. He took a few steps into the room to be sure, sighing as he saw the angel was perfectly fine.

Dean slumped against the wall in relief, his body shaking violently and his stomach roiling as he tried to calm himself down. His sobs rose in volume as his grip on control unraveled, the relief flooding through him making him feel shaky and exhausted. 

“Baby? What’s wrong, sugar? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Daddy asked, and Dean snapped his head up, guilt flooding through him as his Daddy sat up, his eyes glowing yellow as he looked down at Dean. 

At this, Dean quickly stood, wiping away his tears quickly, though they flowed faster than he could dry them. His legs shook as adrenaline, relief and exhaustion took their toll, though he tried to steel himself for Daddy’s sake, despite being in his headspace.

”I-I’m okay, D-Daddy. Don’t- Don't- worry about me.” Dean sobbed out, his knees bucking as he tried to take a step towards the door. 

One moment, Dean was falling, and the next, he was cradled gently in his Daddy’s arms, the angel looking concerned and caring. He looked Dean over for injuries as he cried, before gently sweeping through his thoughts to see the nightmare that caused it. 

”Oh, baby. I’m right here, little one. No one is going to hurt me, you and I are completely safe. Don’t worry. Shh, shh. I’ve got you. You can sleep in here tonight. How does that sound, hmm?” Daddy asked, and Dean’s tears slowed, looking up at his Daddy with big, pink eyes. 

”Baby, I don’t ever want you to think you can’t come to me for help, or comfort, or just cause you missed me. You are _always_ my first priority. You don’t ever have to feel guilty for needing me, okay? Now, let’s get you changed, and you can come sleep with me.” Daddy said, and Dean smiled, nuzzling his face into his shoulder.

Carefully, Cas carried his little one into the nursery, smiling at the cute image of him cuddling into him and clutching at his little white kitten. Quickly, he set the baby down and changed him, applying generous amounts of lotion and powder to keep him comfortable before picking him back up, carrying him on his hip.

By the time he made it back to his room with the baby on his hip, Dean was nearly asleep, making cute little mewling noises as he chewed on Cas’s sleep shirt. Cas chuckled and summoned a pacifier in Dean’s mouth, simultaneously drying Dean’s face and his shirt. 

With the utmost love and care, Cas set Dean gently on the side of the bed with the covers peeled back, before getting in beside him and pulling the blanket over the both of them. He pulled Dean to his chest, tucking the baby’s head beneath his chin before falling into a peaceful sleep.

******  
  


“Mama! Mama, up!” Dean called from where he sat in his crib, very awake and alert from his afternoon nap.

Gabriel, who had walked in to check on Dean, smiled fondly at his baby. He stepped over to the crib and dropped a kiss on Dean’s nose before scooping him up from under his arms and setting him on his hip, making Dean giggle madly. 

”How’s my baby doing, hmm?” Gabriel asked, brushing Dean’s bangs out of his eyes gently.

”I’m doing awesome, Mama! Papa said that I’m gonna get presents today!” Dean said excitedly, waving his hands in the air and bouncing on Gabriel’s hip. 

”Yes, munchkin, you are! Your Daddy and Papa finally set up a few of the things we bought for you when you first regressed! Do you want to go see them, mon chou?” Gabriel said. 

Dean nodded happily, and Gabriel grinned down at his baby as he carried him out of the nursery. Gabriel had been trying out new pet names from the different cultures he had immersed himself in over his years on earth. Both he and Dean enjoyed them immensely, as it was always adorable to see how Dean lit up when he recognized one. 

When Gabriel and Dean reentered the kitchen, both were shocked to see that everything looked completely different. The front area had been carpeted with a light pink carpet, and the library as well. In the library was a large, fluffy maroon couch sat in front of a TV, and in front of that, a large playpen filled with toys and games. Off to the side was a bassinet. 

The kitchen itself remained mostly unchanged, though the table now had cushioned chairs, and, at the head of the table, a high chair. The table was covered in a cute pink tablecloth with hedgehogs. 

The walls themselves had been repainted a very very soft pink, so soft that if you weren’t looking at it closely, you would think it was white. 

Gabriel stared around the room in shock as Dean laughed with glee. Dean and Cas stood behind the table, looking happy and very proud, Sam smiling and rushing over to Dean when he saw the baby’s reaction. 

”Papa! Thank you so much Papa! And Daddy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Dean squealed, practically leaping at Sam, who caught him smoothly. 

”You’re welcome, my little baby! Do you like it?” Sam asked, giving Dean Eskimo kisses as he looped an arm under Dean’s butt to hold him better. 

”I love it, Papa!” Dean exclaimed. 

Sam moved to go place Dean in the playpen, climbing in and joining him in playing pretend with a few stuffed animals as Gabriel went to stand beside Cas.

”He’s doing so much better now, isn’t he?” Cas commented lightly, and Gabriel’s smile dimmed slightly. 

”Yes...but you sense it too, don’t you? He’s only reacting this well because it’s early, and because his body desperately needs it. I can tell that petty sure, Big Dean is going to start fighting again. It’s not going to be an easy transition.” Gabriel said, and Cas nodded, looking pensive. 

As Cas opened his mouth to say more, the door to the bunker opened behind them, and everyone, including Dean, turned. Dean immediately slipped out of headspace, his cheerful mood gone as he glared across the room. 

Standing at the top of the stairs, much to everyone’s relief, was Rowena, holding a purse and a letter sealed with a red wax stamp. She surveyed the room, her eyes widening as she took in the massively changed bunker.

”Did I miss something?”

******  
  


Dean, now big and dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, much to his Caregivers chagrin, sat with his CGs and Rowena at the dinner table. In front of them was a traditional Indian curry, one of Gabriel’s favorites from his time as a God.

”I’m sorry to barge in on you all like this so unexpectedly, it was rather rude of me, but I have some very important news for you. I also,” she said, pulling a perfectly round white quartz out of her bag. “Brought a gift.”

The Caregivers, and Dean, looked at the gemstone in confusion, the only thing special about it being that it gave off a soft, blue light.

”It’s definitely pretty, Rowena, but...what does it do?” Sam asked, and Rowena smirked, letting the gem roll and settle onto her palm.

”This has the grace of the first archangel in it. With the right incantation, I can infuse this into any human, and it will allow them to see the wings of angels. Mostly useless to most, but I figured you may find it interesting.” Rowena said. 

Everyone sitting around her stared at Rowena in varying degrees of shock, though Dean looked very, very intrigued. Gabriel’s mouth hung open in surprise and disbelief, but the truth rang clear to him. She was being honest.

”Is it safe? Sam asked, and Rowena smiled at him. 

“Do you really think I would do something that would put your baby in danger? It’s completely harmless. The only effect it offers is an increased connection with angels, and the ability to see their wings.” 

Another truth. Gabriel looked at Rowena, searching her mind for any malicious intent, but she saw non,me, and smiled acceptingly.

”I can do it before I leave. But before all of that, I have some very important news. I received a letter from one of my old students this morning, asking me to join a secret coven. The Coven of First Blood. I read the letter as quickly as possible and then came right here. You should read it yourself.” Rowena said, producing the letter from earlier and pulling it out of the envelope, unfolding the parchment it was written on. 

The words were written in neat calligraphy, with droplets of ink spattered around the page indicating it was written with a quill. All four of the men at the table leaned in to read it.

” _Dear Rowena,_

_It’s been many years, but I decided that now was as good a time as any to reach out to you. We here in my coven need your help. We are searching for the secret to immortality. We believe one of our sisters, Agnis, came close, before she was killed. The secret to immortality, Rowena, is in the blood of the Righteous Man. If you help us take him down, we will make you immortal.”_

A thunderous growl ripped through the room as Gabriel Argos, knocking his chair over in his haste. In and instant, Dean was in his arms, one hand tucked under Dean’s legs, and the other pressing his head into Gabriel’s neck. Instead of their usual yellow, Gabriel’s eyes were shining with the blue of archangel grace, tinted green as the yellow of his instincts shined through.

”Absolutely not! Neither you, nor any witch in this or any other realm is going to lay a hand on my baby!” Gabriel shouted, and Rowena held up her hands in defense.

Cas and Sam, with eyes glowing as brightly yellow as they could, turned to Rowena.

”Are you going to join them?” Cas asked, his time warning and his wings fluffed out in preparation for a fight. His angel blade slipped into his hand.

”Heaven’s no! It’s my responsibility to make sure that Dean is perfectly safe and happy, no exceptions. Besides, I don’t have a death wish. Those witches have no idea what they’re up against with the four of you. No, I’m not an idiot. I’m here to help Dean. To place more wardings on the bunker, and to give Dean his Registration Day gift. That’s all.” Rowena said, and her words rang true enough to them all that they relaxed, though Gabriel’s rumbled never ceases and he sat with Dean on his lap. 

”Thank you for showing up this, Rowena. We accept your gift, and your offer of protection.” Sam said, and Rowena smiled.

”Lovely! Alright then, first things first!” Rowena said cheerfully, rummaging through her bag and setting out several gems and herbs, as well as a piece of chalk.

After kneeling around the table and drawing a quick circle and pentagram, and placing several gems and herbs on the points of the star, Rowena stood, placing both hands on the table.

“ _Bidh mi a ’tabhann mo dhìon don taigh seo. Tha mi a ’gairm air spiorad teine is fuil mo ùrnaigh a chluinntinn. Bidh mi a ’cur às do gach rùn àicheil agus a’ dìon an fheadhainn a tha a ’fuireach an seo_.”

”That should help reinforce your wards. Now, I don’t have much more time to spend with you all, though I wish I did. So, if it’s alright with you, I’ll give Dean his gift now and be on my way. I promise to return soon and contact you with any information I find.” Rowena said, and Gabriel nodded sharply.

Rowena stepped over to where Gabriel sat, clutching Dean close to him and hiding his face from the world. It took all of Gabriel’s self control not to snap at her and force her away when she brought the glowing stone to his baby’s forehead.

After a few moments of chanting quietly under her breath, she pulled away, and Gabriel looked down to see Dean’s eyes closed tightly, and the stone now dull and lifeless.

”I really must be off. I’m sorry about all of this, really. I hope I can do more.” Rowena said, quickly packing her things.

”Thank you, Rowena.” Cas said sincerely.

She smiles, and then she was gone in the blink of an eye. Sam sighed and stared down at the letter that sat in front of him, his first clenching and crumpling the paper a bit before Cas set a gentle hand on his shoulder.

”Witches? Just as Dean was beginning to settle down, too. My poor baby. I thought he’d left hunting behind him.” Sam said sadly, and Gabriel hummed, petting the back of Dean’s head gently.

All attention snapped to Dean as he began to open his eyes. His head was pounding, though he could feel the familiar touch of grace washing against his soul, burrowing into his mind before dissipating partially, but not totally, he opened his eyes slowly, and they widened at what he saw.

In front of him, Cas day, with his beautiful, black wings half extended as he looked at Dean in concern. Dean couldn’t help but reach out towards them, gasping as his fingers came into context with the softest material he had ever touched.

”You can really see them, huh, little one?” Gabriel asked, pulling Dean’s attention to his Mama. 

When Dean looked up at Gabriel, he saw not two, but four beautiful brown wings topped with gold. Dean’s eyes filled with tears as the lower pair of wings came to wrap around him, covering him in a sense of warmth and comfort that Dean had never before known.

Dean’s Caregivers watched in relief and amusement as Dean slipped immediately, cuddling into Gabriel’s wings like he was made for it. Castiel smiles, using the tip of his massive wing to brush against Dean’s cheek, causing the baby to mewl and pull one of the feathers into his mouth.

Gabriel tutted and pulled Cas’s feather from Dean’s mouth, replacing it with a pacifier. Dean relaxed immediately, looking sweet and delicate and sleepy. In order to not jostle him, Gabriel summoned a diaper and onesie to replace the dreadful Big clothes he had insisted on wearing.

”What do we do? If I don’t quell my protective urges I might implode, but I don’t know how we can protect him any more.” Cas said, looking jittery and nervous, and Gabriel looked at Sam for suggestions.

”I know just the thing. We need some cuddle time. Tell me, have you ever heard of a pillow fort?”

******

Gabriel, Sam, Cas and Dean squished together in the surprisingly sturdy pillow fort the three Caregivers had constructed on Cas’s king-sized bed. The area was big enough that they could all cuddle together without any problems, but small enough to feel hidden and protected. 

Sam pulled down the heavy comforter that acted as their door, bathing them in darkness broken only by their glowing eyes, and adding to the sensation of protection. Cas and Gabriel laid their wings out over Sam and Dean, who laid in between them, reaching their graves out to tangle together.

With his urges quelled, safe in their nest, and cuddled to his baby, Sam fell asleep, both boys deep in slumber far before the angels.

”I’m worried about what’s going to happen, Cas. I have to be enough to protect him. I can’t... I can’t live without him. He’s too important.” Gabriel admitted, and Cas nodded softly, a smile of understanding on his face.

”I can’t lose him either. He’s got an archangel, an angel, and the best damn hunter in the world to protect him. And, one of the best witches in the world, too. We will keep him safe, Gabriel. No matter the cost.” Cas said, and the determination and honesty in his tone set Gabriel at ease.

With worry heavy on their hearts, but love and certainty driving their confidence, the two angels fell asleep, warm and comfortable, safe within their nest. 

For now, they could sleep. Everything was alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I hope you liked the last chapter! It was a lot of fun to write and I always enjoy writing a little angst in my stories. More fluff and cuteness to come! Hopefully you find this new twist compelling. A few people have given me suggestions that I’ve taken and run with, and had a lot of fun doing. If you guys have any suggestions at all, don’t hesitate to tell me! I love adding personalized components to my work for my readers to enjoy! Anyway, I wish you the best in this time or quarantine! I love you all!


	13. Mama’s Here, Little One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cas get called out on a potential case involving the Coven of First Blood, and have to leave Gabriel with Dean. Fluff and protective Mama Bear Gabe!

“Hey, Cas. Can I talk to you for a minute? It’s about a case a few towns over. I think it might involve the Coven.” Sam said as he approached the angels, who were sitting with Dean in the playpen.

Dean was sitting in the playpen, dressed in a onesie, but his eyes were glimmering green. Everyone in the bunker was on high alert, and no matter how much his Caregivers tried, they just couldn’t get Dean to regress.

”What’s wrong, Sam? You mentioned the Coven?” Cas whispered, pulling Sam aside and shifting his wing to cover them, though Sam couldn’t see that.

”About 2 hours south of here, several people were found with their blood drained and their hearts missing, just like the case Dean was on. We have to go check it out. It’s too close to the bunker for my comfort.” Sam said, his eyes flashing yellow for a moment.

“Alright. But we have to leave Dean here. I am not putting him in danger, especially when we know the Coven is targeting him specifically. You and I will go. Gabriel can stay here and watch the baby. Gabriel is the most powerful out of all of us, and he may not have been close to Dean in the beginning, but now he certainly lives up to his title of Mama. He won’t let anything happen to Dean.” Cas said, and Sam smirked, looking over at the archangel who read happily aloud to Dean.

Dean kept glancing over, looking at Adams and Cas with trepidation and concern painted on his face. Gabriel’s face faltered as he looked at Dean, knowing that there was nothing they could do to prevent this. 

”You go pack a bag. I’ll tell Gabriel and Dean.” Cas instructed, and Sam nodded sharply, walking out of the room. 

”What’s going on, Daddy?” Dean asked as soon as Sam was gone, red dusting his cheeks at calling Cas by such a childish name.

Cas walked up to the playpen, reaching in and pulling Dean into his arms. Gabriel was at their side in an instant, his four wings fluttering too quickly for Dean to spot. Cas used his right wing and arm to hold Dean and brushed his hair back with his left hand.

”Papa found a hunt a few hours away. He and I will probably be gone for a few days. Mama is going to stay here with you, okay? And Papa and I will call every night. I promise we won’t be long, baby boy.” Cas cooed, giving Dean as kiss on the forehead as he scowled at Cas.

”Let me come with you.” Dean demanded, and Gabriel immediately tended, his wings flaring and his eyes flashing. 

”No, baby. We have to keep you safe, and this is the best way. Gabriel will be right here, and we will be perfectly safe. Your job isn’t Hunting anymore. Your job is to be happy and be my good little baby, okay? Am I understood?” Cas asked, a warning clear in his tone.

Dean bowed his head, subdued. Cas smiled and gave Dean another kiss, passing Dean back to Gabriel. Gabriel sighed in relief as he wrapped both arms and his lower wings around Dean, his grip tightening as Dean melted into the embrace.

”Its going to be just fine, Dean. Your Daddy and Papa can handle themselves, and I won’t let anything hurt you, okay, azizam?” Gabriel said, his upper wing pulling Dean’s head to rest on his chest.

”Okay.” Dean said, as Cas began to pull away. “Daddy, wait.”

Cas stopped immediately and moved closer to Dean, so that his face was close enough to hear the barely whispered words his baby said. Then, with a face as red as beets, he popped up and gave Cas a kiss on the cheek before burrowing under Gabriel’s wings and into his shirt.

Cas pulled back slightly, a big, bright smile on his face as he brought his fingers up to carefully touch the place Dean had kissed. Gabriel smiled gently down at Dean, and then at Cas.

Cas looked down at his embarrassed, adorable baby with such love and affection it made his heart swell. His wings fluffed out as protective instincts flowed through him, making his fists clenched in determination as Sam walked back into the room.

”Take care of him.” Cas whispered to Gabriel, and Gabriel smirked.

”Always, little bro. Now go kick a witch’s ass for me, alright?”

With that, Cas and Sam left, Sam looking back longingly at Dean as Cas practically dragged him out of the bunker, his eyes blazing with fury and confidence. As the door closed behind them, Gabriel sighed, walking Dean over to the nursery.

”Put me down.” Came a muttered order from under Gabriel’s wings.

”Oh? And why should I do that?” Gabriel said, raising his eyebrow and looking down at the bundle in his arms. 

Glittering green eyes looked up at him, filled with frustration and worry. Gabriel smiles softly, bouncing Dean a few times as the baby scowled at him, though the look held no heat.

Gabriel glances up for a moment to make sure that he didn’t run into anything, before looking down. His eyes widened as he realized Dean’s eyes were glittering with bushes tears, making the archangel stop in his tracks.

”What’s wrong, sugar? Why are you crying?” Gabriel asked, dumbfounded as Dean’s green eyes shifted to the deepest shade of pink he’d seen on his baby yet.

”Mama...” Dean tried, before he broke down into ugly, full bodied sobs, causing Gabriel to panic.

Gabriel bypassed the nursery, heading straight for Cassie’s room and closing and locking the heavy wooden door behind him. He then sat on the large bed and cradled the boy in his lap, holding his head and rocking him as he wailed and sobbed. 

”Please, baby boy. Mama’s here, Mama’s here. You have to tell me what’s wrong so I can help.” Gabriel begged, his voice tinged with desperation. 

”I’m scared, Mama. Daddy, and Papa, they could get hurt! And it would be my fault! This is all my fault! I’m bad!” Dean wailed, and Gabriel shushed him gently, peeling him back and forcing the baby to look him in the eyes. 

”You are **_not_** bad, okay? No, look at me...” Gabriel grabbed Dean’s chin and gently guided him to look into his Mama’s earnest eyes.

”You are _not_ bad. Not in this, nor any universe. Daddy and Papa are strong, and capable, and they’re fighting for you, the little boy they love more than anyone else in the world. They aren’t going to get hurt. And if they did, it would _not_ be your fault. They are doing this for themselves and the good of the world, just as much as for you. I won’t let you blame yourself when it just isn’t, and valued never be, your fault. Now, why don’t we cuddle, hmm?” Gabriel said, and Dean nodded, sniffling.

Gabriel kicked off his shoes and summoned a change of clothes for himself, now dressed in only a pair of pajama pants. He pulled Dean down so that they were laying on the bed, and wrapped his wings around Dean so that he was encompassed everywhere but his head.

But sometimes was wrong. A strange, angelic instinct raged in Gabriel’s veins, making him itch as Dean shook with fear and guilt. He softly let go of Dean, shushing him as he whined and reached out for his Mama.

”Hush, Little one. I’ll be right back, you’re safe.” Gabriel said, standing and finding the soft blanket that had fallen off the bed. 

He pulled it towards his face and took in a large breath, the smell of his brother filling his nose and quelling some of the urges in Gabriel. The archangel startled as he realized what was going on. The fort must’ve started it.

Gabriel was nesting.

Nesting was a practice common among angels who were going to adopt a Little, or have a child. Depending on their role in the child’s life, and how old the child was (or regressed to), angels had different instincts. In this case, Gabriel’s instincts were telling him to hide his baby, keep him warm and safe and comfortable.

The feeling was jarring and new for Gabriel, and he fought against it for a moment, before he looked down at Dean, who was curled in a ball on the bed. He looked so small and fragile, swallowed up by the size of the bed, with his delicate form shuddering from tears and cold.

Suddenly, the room felt too big and empty, and in the blink of an eye, it was filled with soft, heated blankets and fluffy pillows, as well as every one of Dean’s stuffed animals. Dean looked around, bewildered, as he was suddenly nestled in a mound of blankets, perfectly molded against his body.

”Stay here, okay, darling? Mama will be back in a moment.” Gabriel said, before opening his wings and flying into Sam’s room.

He zipped around, grabbing a few sleeping shirts that he had laid out to be worn again, and his blanket before flying back, tucking them into the nest to add Sam’s scent. He knew that both he, as a parental angel with other Caregivers that took care of his young, and Dean, as a Little who was used to having more than one parent, needed the comfort that the other Caregivers could offer.

Quickly, he summoned a large container of salt and poured it along all four walls of the room. Then he whispered an enchantment of protection and crawled back in the bed, delighted when Dean reaches out for him immediately, pulling the baby close and wrapping all of his wings and both arms around him as closely as he could.

Against his back, Gabriel felt a warm mound of soft material, and he was covered on all sides, the smell of his brother and Sam permeating their little nest. Dean was safe in his arms and Gabriel’s urges were finally quelled.

And so he lay like that, awake long after Dean had fallen asleep, gently petting his baby’s hair and praying that everything would turn out okay.

******  
  


”Do you think they’re okay, Cas?” Sam asked, for what must’ve been the thousandth time since they’d begun their drive.

Exasperated, Cas sighed and turned to Sam, who was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. Cas gently touched Sam’s hand, and he begrudgingly relaxed his grip. 

”I know you’re worried. But trust me, they are both perfectly fine. I can feel them both through my grace. They’re unharmed. It’s going to be alright, Sam. Now, we need to keep our focus so we can get this over with.”

They drove on in silence for another half an hour. Sam was deep in thought, thinking of everything he and his brother had faced together, and how much they’d been through. How much Dean has protected him. Protected them all. 

”I love him. I love him so so much. He’s always been my brother, but now...now he’s my baby too. And I can’t...” Sam began, his tears choking him. 

”I know.” Cas said kindly. “I love him too. I can’t lose him. None of us can. And we won’t. No matter what, no matter the cost, he will be safe.”

Sam nodded and swallows thickly around the lump in his throat. Luckily, he didn’t have anymore time to consider it as he pulled up to the police station in the town where the murders happened.

Sam parked the car and reached into the back for his suit, when he looked down and realized that both he, and Cas, had suddenly been changed into the right clothes.

”Let’s go,” The angel said, and Sam smiled, shaking his head as he and Cas stepped out of the Impala.

******  
  


Gabriel and Dean has slept through the night and into the next morning, awakening, unsurprisingly, far earlier than they usually did. Dean has used his diaper, and was absolutely ravenous after eating nothing for a day. 

Reluctantly, Gabriel dragged himself out of the warm comfort of their nest, pulling Dean with him, who cling to the archangel like a lifeline. Gabriel wrapped his wings around Dean to keep his skin from getting chilled as they stepped out into the dark hallway, the first light of dawn bathing the bunker.

Stopping at the nursery, Gabriel stripped Dean of his onesie and diaper, throwing the wet material in the trash and cringing as he saw the rash it had left behind.

With a quick wave of his hand, Gabriel healed the abrasions, grabbing a wipe and making sure to clean the sensitive skin thoroughly, before rubbing it with lotion and adding a generous amount of baby powder.

After strapping on a fresh, clean diaper, Gabriel opted to go into the kitchen to make Dean a bottle, thinking it was best that they get out of the nest to give Dean some room to breathe.

Holding Dean on his hip with one arm and a wing, Gabriel used one hand, assisted by grace, to measure out the right level of powder and milk, before adding cinnamon, vanilla and sugar as a treat, and heating it with grace before shaking it the old fashioned way.

Dean brightened as he realized Gabriel was going to give him a bottle, and pulled back slightly from where he had been burrowed in Gabriel’s shoulder. Gabriel carries him to the couch before shifting him so that he was cradled with his back laying against one wing and another draped over his legs like the softest imaginable blanket.

Dean might as well have been in heaven as he laid there, cradled in his Mama’s safe wings. His eyes slipped closed as the rubber nipple of the bottle slipped between his lips. For a moment, he didn’t react, and then he began eagerly suckling, letting out huffs of breath between each swallow.

Despite being asleep for so long, Dean was littler than he had ever been before, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in his Mama’s arms and sleep until Daddy and Papa came home. But, every time he began to fall asleep while he suckled on the bottle, his Mama would nudge him and shift him until he finally woke up.

Eventually, he finished the bottle, and Mama set it to the side, smiling down at Dean before shifting him and cuddling him close to his chest. Dean was content to stay there in his Mama’s arms forever until his Mama began shaking him up and down and patting his back.

Dean felt an unpleasant pressure build up in his chest, and then throat and he whined, but Mama didn’t stop. Then, Dean let out a burp, much to his surprise and embarrassment, and felt relief flood through him as the pressure eased.

Then, Mama shifted them until Dean was lying against Mama’s chest on the couch, both of them facing towards the TV. Mama turned it on to a very colorful show Dean didn’t recognize, before wrapping his wings and arms protectively against Dean’s midsection. 

Dean was nearly refectory content, but he quickly realized something was missing as he hugged his hands to his chest.

”Mama? Can we get Nova, please?” Dean requested softly, and Mama looked down at Dean with patient confusion on his face.

”Who’s that, love?” Mama asked, and Dean huffed, squirming a little.

”My kitty, Mama. She’s my kitty.” Dean explained, and Mama smiled knowingly, snapping his fingers.

Suddenly, Nova appeared in Dean’s arms, and he buried his nose into her soft fur. Mama smiled down at Dean and pet his hair, and they both directed their attention to the show.

  
******  
  


“Hello, Sam. Your brother isn’t here. That’s a shame. I was hoping to meet him.” The blonde vampire in front of Sam slithered across the room towards him, an invisible binding spell keeping him from moving.

Cas was nowhere in sight, probably halfway across the abandoned hospital by now, completely unaware of his partner’s imminent danger. No matter how much Sam tried, he couldn’t open his mouth to call for Cas’s help.

”You know, vessel of Lucifer, I’m pretty sure that using you for the spell wouldn’t be a half-bad idea. I’ve seen what you’ve done. You’ve got the blood of a demon coursing through those veins of yours. It’s a pretty powerful thing. But Mother seems dead-set on your big brother.” She tainted, dragging her knife down the side of Sam’s face.

”But she never said I couldn’t kill you. And I must say, this will be so much more fun.”

Sam flinched as turned his head as she brought up her knife to slit his throat, before she froze and began choking on her own blood. Sam looked down and saw an angel blade protruding from her chest, and grinned in relief and victory as he fell to her knees, clawing at the blade in her lung.

As she fell, Sam caught sight of Cas, standing in the doorway with his eyes burning with grace and a righteous fury radiating off of him. Sam took a few steps to get out of the infernal hellhole he was standing in when the witch grabbed his leg.

Sam whipped around to see her smirking at him. She gestured for him to come closer, and Sam kicked her arm away from him, stepping over by her head. 

”My sisters, my Mother, they’re going to find you. They will find your little hideout and they will tear it apart piece by piece. And when they do, they’ll take your brother, and they’ll eat him alive.” She chocked out.

And then her eyes dimmed, and she was dead.

******  
  


Sam and Cas drove the Impala back as fast as physically possible. They didn’t speak, but the tension and fear in the air was so thick you could practically taste it. Castile checked over and over, every few minutes, feeling his bonds with Dean and Gabe for any signs of danger or even discomfort.

The only condolence Cas receives for his troubles was the vague knowledge that they were alive, and as far as he could tell, unharmed. Sam has no such abilities, and kept the gas pressed firmly against the floor of the car the entire way back to the bunker.

When the car finally sputtered into the garage, Cas didn’t even wait for it to stop before leaping out, slamming the door behind him and bolting into the bunker, Sam close at his heels. When they entered, the living area was empty, with all of the lights off.

Panic bubbles in Castiel’s chest as he saw no sign of his brother and his baby, and almost by reflex he ran towards the nursery.

The nursery was just as vacant as the living area, and Sam and Cas’s chests tightened as panic and desperation over took them. Cas stopped and attempted to locate them through his grace, a choppy process at best, when Sam shouted.

”GABRIEL!”

A muffled “Here!” Called from Cas’s room, and San and Cas were there in an instant, throwing open the door. 

Inside, Gabriel sat up against a massive pile of blankets, with Dean in between his legs, leaning back against his chest as Gabriel read Clifford the Bug Red Dog to him. He looked up ast Sam and Cas with a funny look, smiling and waving, which prompted Dean to look up.

”Papa! Daddy! You’re home!” Dean squealed, hooping out of the best and running to his Caregivers.

Both Sam and Cas caught him into a hug, pulling him tight against their chests even as he pulled against them, relief and love and care flooding through them making them shaky and tearful.

Cas glances up and looked around the room with a grin on his face, then back at Gabriel. The archangel was averting his gaze, looking sheepish at the mess he’d made of Castiel’s room.

”Gabriel! You’re nesting! How wonderful! Congratulations! Not many angels get that experience. I’m really happy for you.” Cas said, pulling away from the hug and falling into the nest in exhaustion.

With a snap of Gabriel’s fingers, Cas was dressed in pajamas and was perfectly clean, as well as Sam. Both smiled gratefully at Gabriel as the overwhelming toll of the hunt finally caught up to them.

”How about I get Dean changed and you two get some sleep, hmm? We were going to head to bed soon anyway.” Gabriel offered, and Cas and Sam accepted in an instant, splaying our on the cushion of the nest and finally letting themselves relax.

”There’s still the Coven out there.” Cas pointed out, and Sam nodded, smiling.

”Yeah, but here in the bunker, we’re safer than any place on earth. Dean will be fine, I’m sure of it.”

With that, Cas and Sam succumbed to their exhaustion and fell asleep. Gabriel carries Dean back into the room to see them asleep facing each other with a bit of space between them.

Gabriel set Dean down between them, smiling as they immediately latched on and cuddled him. Gabriel used his grace to make the nest just a little bigger before slipping in behind San, and draping two of his wings over his sleeping family.

And there, nestled in an angels nest, nothing could get this family tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I must say, Gabriel is quickly becoming one of my favorite fictional characters. He’s not Dean or Cas, but I love him so much. Anyway, I promise I’ll feature more of Daddy Cas and Papa Sam soon! Please comment your thoughts, they’re really what keep me going! I love you all!


	14. Let Us Help You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A witch breaks into the bunker.

They spent most of their nights in Gabriel’s nest. Dean slept in his crib for nap time, of course, and still went in there to play or get changed, but Dean, Cas, Sam and Gabe spent almost every night in the nest. The only exception would be if the Caregivers needed to stay up later than Dean for strategizing. 

Luckily for his Caregivers, Dean has stayed firmly in his headspace since Cas and Sam’s hunt. So firmly, Cas began to grow concerned as he set down Dean for his afternoon nap. Dean, with eyes glimmering a beautiful pink, babbled happily at Cas, yawning and pecking him gently on the cheek.

”’Night ‘Night, Daddy.” Dean chirped, snuggling into the stuffed toy cat Cas has learned was named Nova.

”Goodnight, baby.” Cas said, petting Dean’s head as his eyes drifted closed.

When Cas was sure he was sleeping, he took one of his peach blankets and tucked it under his chin. He glanced up for a moment to check the time, seeing the sun was beginning to dip closer to the floor of the room.

As quietly as he could, Cas appended his wings and flew into the living room, where Sam and Gabriel sat, looking very frustrated as they pored over a map of the U.S. Cas approached the table and sat across from them.

“He’s down?” Sam asked, glancing up at Cas.

”Yes, he’s asleep.” Cas said, though the time of his voice made it sound like he had more to say.

”I’m worried about him. He hasn’t come out of his headspace even once, and it’s been nearly a week. Of course I’m happy with him in any headspace, but usually Little’s come out at some point. Unless something is wrong.” Gabriel said quietly, his voice filled with concern.

”I was worried about the same thing. But don’t worry Gabriel, Dean is okay. He lived through the first three decades of his life without regressing once. I expect he will need a lot of extra time to make up for it.” Cas said, though neither he nor Gabriel was consoled by that understanding. 

“We need to talk about the Coven. I understand we’re all worried about Dean’s regression, but I’m sure it’s nothing. What is a real problem here is that there is entire Coven of witches out for Dean’s heart.” Sam said, pulling out a folder full of papers.

”They do realize that immortality is literally completely impossible, right? Not even God is eternal.” Gabriel said, a little miffed.

”My brother is not wrong. They are misguided in thinking that Dean’s blood and heart, however powerful, has any properties that would grant them immortality. They would be better off taking Gabriel’s blood and heart, though that would never be possible.” Cas said, and Sam nodded, pulling several papers out of the folder and setting them in front of the angels.

Cas picked up the one closest to him, an old parchment covered in Gaelic writings. It seemed to be some kind of spell, the words “shìorraidh” and “fuil” appearing several times across the page. Gabriel held a similar document, and many more were now scattered across the table.

”They’re in ancient Gaelic, spells on immortality and youth. All involve ingesting blood in some way or another. It seemed that all of them require red a very specific man called “An Naomh” which means “The Saint.” Apparently they weren’t particularly specific with who exactly this person was supposed to be. I believe that this new Coven is going off of these ancient writings and trying to find this person. For whatever reason they’ve discerned that it must be Dean, who is called to Righteous Man so I guess that makes sense.”

”Do we know where these documents are? There may be a way we can trace the witches if we know where their spells are.” Gabriel asked.

”I traced them back to a city not too far from here, maybe a day’s drive. But this is assuming they’re even using the original documents. They could just have the resources we do.” Sam pointed out, causing Gabriel to scowl.

”Well, yeah, but what other ideas do you have? So far, all we know about them is that they’re after our baby, and they’re witches who want immortality. They could be major threats, even to us. We have no idea how powerful they are nor do we know anything about their “Mother”. If this is all we have then we have to go off of it. If we do nothing, we’re sitting ducks, and the longer the witches are out there, the longer Dean is in danger.” Gabriel argued, and Sam sighed, propping his head up on his hand.

Sam opened his mouth to reply when a bloodcurdling scream sounded from the nursery. Instantly, the Caregivers were on their feet, wings extended to fly and angel blades in hand. In an instant, Cas and Gabriel were in the nursery, eyes flashing and blades poised to fight.

Sam entered moments later to see Dean on the floor, his crib knocked over as a woman held a knife to his throat. Cas and Gabriel were frozen, growls shaking the room as they glared threateningly at the witch.

The witch was young, with hair dyed purple and several piercings on her lips and eyebrows. Several runic tattoos covered her arms, and the half of her head that was shaved. One particular symbol stood out to Sam, familiar for a reason he couldn’t recall.

”I wouldn’t come any closer if I were you, or I’ll kill him. And, based on the way he’s dressed, you guys wouldn’t be particularly happy if your Little got ganked, now would you?” The witch taunted, grinning up at Sam as she tightened her grip on Dean.

Dean’s lips were turned up in a violent snarl, his once pink eyes glittering green and filled with fury. There was no fear in his face, he just looked royally pissed off, which brought Sam a modicum of relief. At least if necessary, Dean could defend himself.

”Let him go.” Gabriel ordered, his voice chilling as power and grace flowed through his veins, protective instincts and anger making him see red.

The witch laughed, causing Gabriel to sneer and flare out his wings, though the witch couldn’t see that. Sam noticed Dean’s hand curbing into a fist and his breath caught, praying his baby wouldn’t do something that would get himself killed.

”I am giving you one last warning, witch. Let my baby go.” Gabriel tried again, but the girl stared defiantly into his eyes.

”Bite me.”

In an instant, Dean twisted around, the knife at his throat cutting through the flesh as his fist connected heavily with her jaw and knocked his back. Cas cried out as she lashed out, slicing his arm in her haste to attack him.

In an instant, Gabriel was beside her, driving his sword down towards her. She barely dodged, the sharp edge tearing a deep gash into her arm. Sam jumped into action, pulling Dean back and shoving him behind him, shielding him with his body.

“You bastard!” The girl cried, shooting to her feet and muttering a spell under her breath, knocking the archangel back and slamming him into the wall.

Castiel jumped forward then, driving the blade into her leg, causing her to scream and drop to her knees. Before Cas could react, she yanked it out of her leg, whispering a spell that knitted the skin together, though by the way she got to her feet, the injury wasn’t completely healed.

With a growl, she slashed at Castiel, but he dodged, slamming one wing into her and sending her flying towards Sam. Sam shoves Dean to the side as she slammed into him, knocking him to the ground.

Pain landed through Sam’s head and arm as his shoulder let out a sickening pop. Sam knew instantly it was dislocated, the pain causing black dots to swim through his vision as he shoved the witch off of him. In a quick motion, Gabriel shoves his blade through her head, a sickening crack resounding in the room as her skull fractured and the pain faded from her eyes.

Sam turned back to Dean with a grimace on his face, his heart falling as he saw Dean curled in the corner, clutching his bleeding arm and shaking, his knees drawn close to his face. Cas immediately used his grace to make every trace of the witch disappear, picking his blade up off of the floor before it, and Gabriel’s sword vanished.

Gabriel growled slightly as he saw blood dripping from the cut on Dean’s throat, the wound, though not fatal, was deep enough to be concerning, and the archangel itches to heal the wounds.

”Dean, are you alright? She didn’t do anything but cut you, right?” Cas asked softly, kneeling to the ground and allowing his wing to brush near Dean.

Dean’s eyes glazed over and he let out a whimper, pulling away from Cas’s wing with a jolt. Cas retracted his wing in a jolt of surprise, yellow bleeding into his eyes as Gabriel came to sit next to him.

”I’m so sorry.” Dean choked out, causing all of his Caregivers to look at him in surprise.

”Sorry for what, baby? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Cas said softly, and Dean looked up at him with eyes glazed with tears.

”I-I...I need a minute.” Dean said, his voice dropping into a monotone drawl before he stood quickly and nearly ran out of the door, disappearing down the stairs.

Sam sat up, cringing as his arm aches and throbbed. He looked at the open door in confusion, pain making his brain fuzzy. Gabriel reaches over and touched Sam’s arm gently, grace washing over him and placing his bone back in its socket painlessly.

”Thanks.” Sam said, before the room fell into an awkward silence for a moment.

”What-what just happened?” Sam asked, and Gabriel looked at him with a scowl planted firmly on his face.

”I think Dean’s panicking. We should just give him his space.” Gabriel said, and Cas turned to him in surprise.

”But he’s hurt! We can’t just leave him alone right now, we have to protect him!” Cas protested, and Gabriel held up a hand, silencing him.

”We night be his Caregivers, but he’s still Dean. We can’t smother him. His injuries are okay, and he knows how to keep them from getting infected. Besides, we don’t really have much of a choice. He went into the basement anyway. It’s warded to keep us out, and it has a two foot thick metal door to keep him out.” Gabriel said, gesturing to Sam.

”Alright then. We give him time. Let’s fix his crib while we wait.” Cas offered.

The Caregivers got to work, though it was tense and uncomfortable. Each had to fight against their instincts with all of their strength, the desire to heal and protect their baby stronger than ever. But beneath all of that was a fear none of them wanted to mention. They saw it in his eyes as he left the room. Fear. 

Fear of them.

******  
  


Dean paced anxiously across the floor of the basement, his feet padding softly against the cement floor. He clutched tightly at the cut in his arm, the pain intensifying as his grip tightened. Tears flowed freely down his face, the water making his eyes burn and his skin cold and itchy.

”Oh my god. Oh my god. This is all my fault. Sammy...” Dean muttered to himself, panic rising in his throat.

As frustration and self-hatred welled in Dean’s chest, he dug his nails deeply into his wound, crying out as agony, sharp and burning shot through his arm, causing him to cry out shakily.

Stiffly, he walked over to the wall, slamming his back against it mercilessly and sliding to the ground, his tears turning to sobs as guilt tore through him. He saw his brother’s arm in his mind, twisted in a direction arms are definitely _not_ supposed to go.

”This is all my fault. I should’ve destroyed my Little side when I had the chance. Then I could actually fight like I used to. Then Sam would’ve never been hurt.” Dean said through gritted teeth, bringing his knees up to his chest.

Dean spent the next several hours like that, the cut around his throat eventually closing up enough to stop bleeding. The wound on his arm, however, hadn’t healed at at, Dean had made sure of it. He relished in the feeling of skin tearing as he pulled and tore at it every time it began to close.

He deserved it. He knew he deserved it. He has expected Cas and Sam and Gabriel to care for him and protect him like their own child when he was a fully grown adult, and a Hunters who was supposed to be taking care of them. He was disgusting, a disgrace.

Most Littles deserved the treatment they got. Most Littles deserved to be coddled and loved and cared for and protected. But Dean was a Hunter. And The Righteous Man, for God’s sake. It was his job to take care of Sam, of Cas. Even Gabriel. Not be some useless, helpless child.

And yet there he was, letting himself be treated like a child, no, like a _baby_ , instead of doing his fucking job. How disgusting. How selfish. How awful. How did his Caregivers even look at him? How could they stomach caring for such a vile monster as himself?

Dean didn’t realize he was panicking until he began to choke on his own tears. He coughed violently, the motion tearing open the cut on his throat in a painful motion, making him scream out and begin sobbing uncontrollably.

”Dean? Dean! Baby, what’s wrong! Please, sweetheart, come out of there! Let Daddy help you, darling.” Cas called from the other side of the door, causing Dean to snap his head up towards the door. 

”I don’t deserve it.” Dean said softly.

”I’m sorry, sweetie. I can’t hear you. Can you speak up?”

”I DON’T DESERVE LOVE!” Dean screamed, slapping a hand over him mouth as soon as the words escaped him.

Silence weighed heavily in the air as Dean sobbed, knowing that he was probably in trouble. Daddy would hate him, make his Mama and Papa hate him too. They were gone leave him, they were gonna...

”Baby, can you please open the door?” Cas asked gently, his voice snapping Dean out of his thoughts.

Dean scrambles to his feet, trembling violently as fear and pain flowed through his veins. He stepped over to the door and pulled on it, taking a few tries to force it open, only to see his Daddy standing on the other side, his eyes glowing yellow and brimming with unshed tears.

”Come here, darling.” Daddy said, opening his wings and arms for a hug.

Dean hesitated, searching his Daddy’s eyes for any hatred or anger. When he saw none, he fell into his embrace, immediately being swept up into his arms and cradled close to his Daddy’s chest.

”I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...” Dean babbled through his tears, trembling violently and clutching at Daddy.

”Oh, my beautiful baby boy. Of course you deserve our love. You haven’t done anything wrong, okay? Nothing at all. You’re absolutely perfect, my adorable little one. You don’t have to apologize to me.” Daddy cooed softly, rocking Dean as tears slipped down his face.

Grace washed over Dean then, the sensation cleansing and cool, like water cleaning away dirt. His wounds knitted closed, and his diaper and onesie were changed, clean and much more comfortable. 

The door closed behind Cas as he carried his trembling, sobbing baby back up the stairs, his shoulders shaking with grief as the words Dean screamed rattled through his head. At the top of the stairs stood Sam and Gabriel, who looked alarmed as they saw the tears streaking down Cas’s face.

Dean looked up to see his Papa at the top of the stairs, looking down at him with love and concern.

”Papa! Papa!” Dean cried, reaching for Sam as Cas neared the pair.

Cas immediately passed the baby to Sam, who pulled him close and cried in relief, peppering his face in kisses and holding him tightly, bouncing him up and down as Dean muttered apology after apology.

”What happened?” Gabriel asked, and Cas sent over the memories of the incident, making Gabriel eyes widen an fill with tears.

”Oh, baby.” Gabriel said, looking at Dean with so much love it made Cas smile softly.

”I think that’s quite enough excitement for today. Why don’t we all lay down in the nest for a while?” Sam offered, and both angels, and Dean agreed in some form of another.

From one moment to the next, they were all squished together in the nest, Dean squished between Gabriel and Sam, though he wrapped his whole body around Sam, effectively trapping him. Sam only smiled and petted gently at Dean’s hair as his sobs lessened to hiccups.

Just as everyone had settled down and sleep nearly claimed Dean, Cas spoke up.

”We love you more than you could ever comprehend, Dean. We will never leave you. We will never abandon you. We will always love you. We want this. We want to protect you. We are Caregivers, we were designed to care for a Little, and there’s no Little in the world that could compare to you. You deserve the world, and so, so much more. These attacks are in no way your fault. We don’t blame you at all. You aren’t in trouble. We just want you to be happy, and warm, and healthy. That’s your only job, okay, sugar. Now just relax. Mama, Papa, and I are here. You can let go.” Cas said, his voice so full of emotion and love and care it brought tears to everyone’s eyes.

After a few moments, Dean replied.

”I love you, Daddy. I love you too, Mama and Papa. I love you more than anything in this world.”

”We love you too, baby. Just remember. It’s always okay to let us help you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it! Thank you guys for all your support. I’ve been trying to update every day, and it’s really helping me improve my time management and my writing. I hope the frequency of the updates is acceptable for you guys! Anyway, I’ll see you all soon! I love you all!


	15. Heaven Is Right Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean struggles with self-hatred and tries to work it out alone, but finds himself coming to his Papa for help. A new guest comes over to the Bunker.

Dean awoke tremendously early in the morning, far before the sun had risen over the horizon. Technically, it was still nighttime, considering the only people who should be awake at 5 AM are health nuts who wake up too early, people with cruel jobs, or insomniacs who just don't go to sleep at all.

Dean, however, fit into none of those categories, yet, for some odd reason, still found himself wide awake at the devil's hour. Sam has turned away from him in his sleep and was snoring heavily, clearly not going to wake up anytime soon.

The angels lay next to him, Gabriel's wings draped over Castiel's in a way that looked quite cute. Dean found himself wishing for a camera as he looked at the peaceful looks on his Caregivers' faces. He could tell that they were out for the count as well, the excessive use of grace, and the fight they'd had the day before taking a toll on their energy.

With relative surety that he wouldn't disturb anyone lying near him, Dean carefully sat up, sliding his legs as slowly and gently as he could out of the pile of blankets and crawling off the edge of the bed. Once he made it out of the nest with no issues, he opened the door, flinching as it made a click, and wincing again as he closed it behind him.

After waiting a few moments and hearing no change within what was formerly Cas's bedroom, Dean padded silently through the hall, reveling in the time to be alone with the quiet morning, and his thoughts. As much as he loved his Caregivers, there's nothing like a beautiful calm morning alone.

Knowing that he was not going to fall asleep again anytime soon, Dean walked into the kitchen and pulled out the coffee maker, grabbing one of his favorite mugs and making a pot of coffee. As soon as it brewed, he poured it into his cup and began to sip on the painfully hot nectar of the Gods.

Looking down at himself, he realized he had on a onesie, and scowled, setting his mug on the counter and walking into his room. Once there, he stripped off his onesie and unused diaper, which he disposed of, and pulled on a T-shirt and boxers, before throwing on a robe over it.

Finally more comfortable, and feeling Bigger than he had in a while, Dean walked back into the kitchen, taking a large drink from his cup of coffee and looking out at how the bunker had changed.

Once an empty place filled with nothing but research, monster-killing resources, and cold, unforgiving space, the bunker now had evidence of a Little written all over it. The floor carpeted in baby pink (Dean still didn't understand why that was the color they chose), and there were several toys, blankets, and other Knick-knacks lying around, a bit chaotic, but homey nonetheless. 

Dean smiled softly at the room around him, leaning on the counter and taking long drags of his drink. He scowled, however, as he remembered the events that passed yesterday. 

When the witch had appeared in his nursery, Dean had frozen in fear. All he could think was that he wanted his Mama, that he wished to have his Caregivers to come and save him. Little Dean hasn't even considered for a moment that he was completely capable of taking care of himself.

So he had screamed. And yes, that had brought his Caregivers running. However, it hadn't stopped the witch from knocking his crib over with her magic and pressing a blade to his throat. He had done nothing to prevent that from happening. It made him feel weak. Useless.

And when Sammy has gotten hurt, even though Dean has seen it thousands of times before, the sight shook him to his core. Because usually, when Sam got hurt, it was not for Dean's lack of trying. Typically, instead of Gabriel coming to the rescue, Dean would've finished her off then and there, no problem.

But he didn't.

When faced with that situation, all Dean could do was watch and stare in horror as they drove a blade into that witch's skull. It had become too much for him. He was triggered, overstimulated and scared. So when's Cas's sing brushed close to him, he didn't register that it wasn't a bad thing. All he knew was fear and trauma and instinct, and he had acted on it.

Then, he'd snapped out of it, just to see his Caregivers looking at him with concern, oblivious to Sam's suffering. Dean couldn't understand why they weren't helping Sam immediately, why they were paying attention to him when all he had was a few cuts.

The guilt choked him, and he knew he had to get out of there as soon as physically possible. If he stayed any longer, he knew that Cas or Gabriel would try to heal him. So he ran to the only place none of the Caregivers could follow—the basement.

But even after everything that happened in the basement, even though he'd mostly regressed before he fell asleep, the guilt over being Little, the fear of not being accepted, everything was still plaguing Dean just as much as it had when he ran down the stairs.

" Dean? What're you doing out of bed, sweetheart?" Sam's voice broke Dean out of his thoughts as Adam approached him from behind, his voice full of sleep.

" Oh, hey, Sammy. I'm just not tired, is all." Dean explained, taking another sip of his coffee.

Sam came to stand next to Dean, leaning casually against his brother. Dean looked at Sam oddly but didn't push him away, relishing the closeness and familiarity of the moment. He did scoff, however, when Sam took the rest of his coffee and downed it in three gulps, looking unapologetic as he set the coffee down on the table.

They stood like that for several minutes, Dean's thoughts swimming with guilt and self-hatred. The fear of Sam getting hurt because of him, even though he was leaning against Dean right now, perfectly fine, made Dean's breath catch in his throat.

" What's wrong, Dean?" Sam asked softly after a few minutes, turning his head to see the turmoil in Dean's mind just by the stony look in his eyes.

" Nothing, Sammy, don't worry about it," Dean said gruffly, his voice defensive.

" Baby. Talk to me." Sam tried again, his voice as kind and loving as he could make it.

Dean's facade began to crumble as his insecurities surfaced. There he was, standing in the bunker with his little brother, trying so damn hard to be Big. But when Sam looked at him like that, when he called him baby, it tore down his defenses like they were wet paper.

" I'm scared," Dean whispered. "I can't see you all fight for me and get hurt. Knowing that it's my fault. I can't be Little if it's going to put you all in danger."

Sam looked at Dean sadly, pulling away only to turn to face him, leaning against the counter and looking down at Dean, who had his face tilted to the ground in shame.

" Dean, sweetheart, can you look at me, please?" Sam asked gently, and Dean immediately obeyed, his glimmering green eyes uncertain as he looked up at his brother. 

" You are my baby. You're Cas's baby. You're Gabriel's baby. We would do anything for you, without even a moment of hesitation. All of us would die for you without a second thought. But it's isn't because you're a Little. It's because you're _Dean_ , and we love you more than anyone on earth. Nothing is going to ever change that. These witches who are attacking you aren't attacking you because you're a Little. They're attacking you because they're selfish and mistaken and twisted. Little or no, we aren't going to let anything happen to you. Even if these witches weren't targeting you, we would hunt them. I won't let you blame yourself when absolutely none of this is your fault. Okay?"

Dean stares up at his brother with a shocked look on his face, his eyes swirling with emotion as he looked into Sam's. Sam looked down at him with so much love and affection that it caused a painful lump to form in Dean's throat, which he swallowed around several times.

" Thanks, Sammy. I needed that." Dean choked out, causing a height, broad, honest smile to spread across Sam's face.

" Of course, sugar. Now, why don't we sit on the couch and watch some TV? I think we all deserve a nice day just to relax." Sam offered, and Dean nodded, letting Sam hook an arm around his shoulders and lead him to the couch.

Effortlessly, they flopped on the couch, Sam lying behind Dean and pulling him close to his chest, reveling in the feeling of having Dean close and safe. Dean grinned and turned the TV on, flipping until he reached a 24-hour marathon of Dr. Sexy Sam and Dean laid there, watching TV, content to just, for a little while at least, forget.

******  
  


Dean was thrilled! Gabriel and his other Caregivers had finally let him help them with something for the first time in what felt like forever. Of course, it was only lunch, but it was something! Gabriel had decided to create seafood paella for lunch, and the smalls of the spices were just mouthwatering. 

" Thanks so much for teaching me how to cook paella, Gabriel!" Dean chirped, and Gabriel grinned, patting Dean on the head gently.

" You're welcome, sugar. And you know, you don't have to call me Gabriel. Even if you're big, I'm still your Mama. And even Gabe is fine if that's easier to swallow." Gabriel offered, causing Dean to blush and look down at the shrimp he was preparing.

" Okay, Mama. Thank you." Dean said, and Gabriel leaned over and kissed Dean on his cheek, making the man flush red.

" Dean! Someone's here to see you!" Cas's voice startled Dean, causing him to drop the shrimp on the counter and turn around, his eyes widening at the man standing on the other side of the table. 

" Bobby?" Dean whispered, his voice colored with shock.

" Hello, Dean. It's good to see you, boy. Com' ere." He said, and Dean smiled brightly, running over to Bobby and giving him a big hug, causing the man to raise an eyebrow.

" Bobby, how nice to see you. Cas, why didn't you tell us we were having guests?" Gabriel asked the younger angel, his voice warning.

Cas had the decency to look sheepish, though the interaction was quickly forgotten as Sam walked in, greeting Bobby with a quick hug and a broad grin. 

"Bobby, I have so much to tell you! You won't believe it! Dean is..." Sam began, but Dean jabbed his elbow into Sam's side sharply, shaking his head.

Bobby looked at the two of them oddly for a moment as Sam faltered, his sentence dying off in confusion as he floundered for something to say.

" Dean is taking a break from hunting." Gabriel supplies helpfully, causing Sam to let out a sigh of relief.

" Oh, are ya? Well, good for you, boy. You deserve a break after all of that apocalypse nonsense. Learning to cook, I see?" Bobby said to Dean, which caused everyone to relax, and Gabriel and Bobby to launch into a friendly conversation about Gabriel's past on earth and the many recipes he's learned.

Dean took the opportunity to pull Cas and Sam aside, trying to look as casual as possible as not to make Bobby suspicious, but also trying to convey the seriousness of the situation in his eyes.

" I'm sorry I didn't tell you Bobby was coming over. I thought the surprise would be nice." Cas said, sounding guilty.

" It's fine, Cas. I'm happy to have Bobby over. I just don't want him to find out that I'm a Little. Luckily, he hasn't seen the library yet, so I need you to hide that stuff right now. We can't do anything about the carpets, but he didn't say anything, so I think we're okay." Dean said, and Cas nodded, snapping his fingers.

" It's done." 

"Thanks."

Dean went to pull away, but Sam caught his arm, pulling Dean back to look at him. 

" Why do you want to hide your Classification from him?" Sam asked, making Dean look away.

" Just because you all reacted positively doesn't mean he will. Now come on, we have to join the conversation before we get too suspicious."

Cas and Sam watched helplessly as Dean pulled away from them. They shared a sad, understanding look before going to join the conversation themselves, sensing a storm brewing.

******  
  


Dean loved the paella. He was sure it was his new favorite non-dessert food. The spices, sweetness of the shrimp, and buttery flavor of the rice were a perfect compliment to each other. And saffron had to be a gift from the gods. Dean was sure about it. 

This night would've been perfect, his Caregivers around him, Bobby happy, his wheelchair placed comfortably next to Sam's seat. Everything was perfect. 

Except it wasn't at all perfect. 

Every word Dean said caused a spike of fear to shoot through him, continually fearing he, or one of his Caregivers, would somehow reveal his secret. They, however, seemed very comfortable, not giving away for even a moment that anything was amiss.

" So, Sam. You're a Caregiver, right? When are you gonna settle down, find a Little of your own? I know you've always adored those little ankle-biters." Bobby said, snapping Dean's attention from his actions to the conversation at hand.

The atmosphere shifted, Gabriel momentarily choking on his food and Cas hesitating as he brought his fork to his mouth. Dean set down his spoon, his stomach too queasy with anxiety to eat another delicious bite. Sam coughed awkwardly and glanced at Dean.

" Well, I was trying to find a Little for a while. But none of them fit. But, um, Cas and Gabe are Caregivers too, so, uh, we, um, we're trying to find a Little for all three of us." Sam said, and Dean's breath hitches inaudibly, a sharp pain piercing through him at the thought of being replaced.

"Come on, boy, there must be something special you're looking for? What is it? If you could have any Little, what would you want them to be like?" Bobby pressures, making Gabriel look over at Dean cautiously, as Dean's fingers curled into fists, his nails digging into his palm.

" Well, if you insist," Sam said, chuckling awkwardly. 

"I'd want him to be sweet. To be brave, and happy. To love me, and Cas, and Gabe. I'd want him to be himself, no matter what..."

Dean did his best to block out his brother's words as a horrible, hateful feeling ate away at his insides. All he could think was that none of those things fit him. He wasn't what Sam wanted. He wasn't wanted.

Even Dean was surprised as a loud sob escaped Dean's mouth, sending the room into silence. Dean stood stiffly, stumbling a bit as he practically ran past his bedroom, past his nursery, making a beeline for the nest. 

Footsteps approached behind him as he leaned against the wall inside the nest, his eyes screwed as tightly shut as possible, his breaths quick and sharp as he fought back his tears. He heard the door close, and he tried to keep his shoulder squared and head up, but he just couldn't open his eyes.

" It's okay, my beautiful baby boy. It's just me. No need to fight like that." His Mama's voice broke the silence of the room, making Dean open his eyes and sob in relief, tears flowing so fast he could barely see.

Mama pulled Dean into his arms carefully, cradling him close as he went to sit on the nest. Dean clutched onto him tightly, hiccuping and gasping for air as Mama carded his hands through Dean's hair.

"Oh, my little dove. What's wrong, mon Coeur?" Mama cooed softly, brushing away Dean's tears with his thumb.

" Sam doesn't want me. He wants a better baby. And Bobby hates me now, and I'm gonna lose you all soon." Dean sobbed, and Gabriel shushed him, his heartbreaking as he pulled his baby close to his chest.

" No one is going to leave you, beautiful boy. Bobby might not be a Caregiver, but he loves you. Even Betas appreciate Littles, darling! And Sammy loves you more than he loves anyone else on this planet or any other. He's never going to leave you. And Cassie and I are never, ever going to abandon you, even when you die, we'll take care of your soul with us in heaven. It's okay, baby. It's okay."

Gabriel rocked Dean back and forth for a while before a tentative knock sounded at the door. Dean's gaze snapped up at the door, his eyes glowing a bright pink as he whimpered and buried his head in Gabriel's shoulder.

" Come in." Gabriel said softly, his eyes glowing yellow, and his wings flared out threateningly.

The door opened to reveal Cas, Sam, and in front of them both, Bobby. He wheeled into the room silently, looking a little awkward, but smiling at Dean when he managed to get close enough.

" He's... adorable. I had no idea he was a Little. That idjit. Thought I would ever judge him for something like this." Bobby said, smiling sadly.

Dean pokes his head up out of Gabriel's shoulder, looking up at Bobby just to have his face flush red in embarrassment. Bobby smiled encouragingly at him, surprised, and delighted to see the baby pink in Dean's eyes.

" Dean, I'll always love ya, boy. Your Father didn't give you the childhood you deserved. These boys here will. And if it's alright with you, I'd like to be a part of it." Bobby said, opening his arms for a hug.

With a wobbly lip, Dean launches himself out of Gabriel's embrace and into Bobby's crying with relief and happiness. Bobby smiled a genuine, happy grin as he cradled Dean in his arms, somehow looking completely natural, holding the Little on his chair.

" Shh. It's alright. No need to cry." Bobby said, and Dean laughed, wiping away his tears and grinning at Bobby.

" Hey. I'll never judge ya, alright? So don't lie to me anymore. And hey," Bobby said, his eyes glittering with mischief. 

" I'll even let you call me Grandpa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I’m sorry the last chapter took so long to write. Honestly I wasn’t super happy with it but I hope you all liked it at least. If anything, this chapter was much better when it comes to actual writing, so I’m happy with it. I hope you enjoyed! I love you all!


	16. Please Don’t Let Me Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean struggles with his headspace.

“No.”

”Dean, come on, baby. You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday. It’s not healthy. Please, just let me give you a bottle. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

Dean shot Castiel the most deadly, furious look he could possibly muster up, causing Cas to draw his eyebrows together in a scowl.

Dean was _not_ having a good day. Cas could tell he was regresses, his eyes glowed a glaring and very obvious pink, but he was just being so painfully _stubborn_! It’s not like Cas hasn’t given him a bottle before. He was in his headspace, so why wouldn’t he just _eat_!?

”Under no circumstances are you getting that cursed thing anywhere near my mouth.” Dean growled, shooting a harsh look at the bottle in Cas’s hand.

Cas sighed and took a step towards Dean, which he quickly matched. Cas looked up at him, unimpressed, his lips drawing down in a frown.

”Dean, sweetheart, I don’t understand why you’re so reluctant to drink your bottle.” Cas said, trying to keep his voice calm.

”It’s a bottle. I don’t need it. I’m not even hungry. Besides, how is milk a meal?” Dean questioned indignantly, causing Cas to sigh heavily.

”The milk is a formula designed for Littles that has all of the nutrients a person needs to stay healthy. It only tastes like sweetened milk to make it palatable and tasty for the babies.” Cas explained patiently, though he suspected Dean was well aware of that fact.

”Whatever. It’s for babies and I’m not drinking it.” Dean huffed, and Cas would've laughed out loud if he wasn’t so infuriated. 

”Oh yes, you will, little man. Please, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be. There’s nothing wrong with drinking a bottle and there’s nothing wrong with being a baby. I’ll tell you that as many times as I have to.” Cas said softly.

”No. I will not, ever, under any circumstances, allow such an offensive object anywhere near my mouth!” Dean almost shouted, causing Cas to raise an eyebrow.

”Come here. Now.” Cas demanded, tired of the games.

Instead of listening, Dean turned and ran. Cas sighed as he watched his baby bolt out of the room, a smile on his face as Dean turned into the hallway. His smile turned into a grin as a thump and an oof! sounded from the hallway, before Gabriel carried a squirmy baby back into the kitchen.

”Mama! Let me down!” Dean cried, though he knew he was beat.

Gabriel just chuckled, peppering Dean’s face with kisses and making him giggle, which made Cas sigh in relief.

”Now, what has my little boy gotten himself into today, hmm?” Gabriel asked.

”He hasn’t eaten since yesterday and wouldn’t let me give him a bottle.” Cas supplies, causing Gabriel’s eyes to fade into a yellow as his eyebrows knitted together.

”Well, we can’t have that, can we? Would you please let your Daddy feed you, little one?” Gabriel asked, making Dean blush furiously and cross his arms.

Just as Cas thought he would refuse again, he rolled his eyes and let out a defeated huff.

”Fine.” Dean sighed.

Cas smiled as Gabriel handed him over, taking him in a smooth motion. Dean looked a little miffed, but he’d been mollified for now, reluctantly accepting the bottle as Cas slipped the nipple into his mouth.

As soon as the sweet creamy liquid touched his tongue, an intense hunger overtook Dean’s embarrassment and he began to suck fervently at the bottle. Cas smiled and settled into a comfortable position, leaning Dean’s head back and sitting on the couch so that he could lay him down.

Halfway through the bottle, Dean’s eyes dropped down, exhaustion suddenly overtaking him. He gave a few more lazy suckles before his eyes drooped closed entirely, and he was asleep.

Relief flooded through Cas as he realized that he wouldn’t have to fight the very tired and quite cranky baby to take a nap, not daring to wake him as he carefully pulled the bottle away. With a gentle touch to his forehead, Cas sent Dean into a deeper sleep, unwilling to have him stir as he stood, setting the half finished bottle on the counter.

Carefully, Cas cradled Dean close to his chest and carried him to his crib, using his grace to change him into a onesie so that he could sleep comfortably. After nestling him into his crib, he turned the dial on the wall as low as it could go so that the room was almost entirely dark, the dull orange flames of the hot air balloons drifting slowly the only illumination in the room.

Cas closed the door to the nursery carefully and let out what felt like the millionth sigh of the day as he leaned against the wall, raking a hand messily through his hair. Gabriel passed by with an amused but worried look, stopping and leaning against the wall opposite of Cas.

”Everything okay? Maybe we should call Sam back. I know he took this day off for himself, but Dean seems like he’s really struggling...” Gabriel began, but Cas shook his head, looking tired.

”No, Sam needs a break. He said he’s be back before Dean goes to bed, which is in a few hours anyway. Let him enjoy his day, we can handle a fussy baby for a bit.” Cas said dismissively, and Gabriel looked at him, unconvinced.

”If you’re sure. Just let me know if you need anything. I’ll be organizing the pantry.” Gabriel said, walking away.

Cas watched him walk away, glancing over at the nursery door once he had disappeared. Cas has a strange feeling. Something was wrong. Something bad was going to happen.

But what?

******  
  


Dean was lost.

Well, lost might not be the right word. He didn’t know where he was, or what was going on. The area around him was dark, so dark he couldn’t see anything. But for some odd reason, he could see himself fine. But everything else was inky blackness, a dark, terrifying void.

”Hello? Is anyone there?” Dean called into the blackness.

He was met with no response, the sound of his voice swallowed up unsettlingly in the abyss. Dean began to shiver, though he felt neither cold not hot, and goosebumps formed over his skin, tingly and painful. He rubbed at his arms in order to rid himself of them, but that only seemed to make it worse.

”Dean...” a voice called from behind him, making Dean snap around.

He gasped and stumbled back as he saw himself standing there, his head covered in blood from a wound in his head, and several other abrasions and scratches on his body. His eyes were closed, through he was facing straight at Dean, his shoulders squared stiffly and unnaturally.

”What? What are you?” Dean asked, his voice shaky and uncertain.

The other Dean chuckled quietly, then burst into full on laughter, the sight causing the hairs on the back of Dean’s neck to stand on end as the creature’s shoulders and chest didn’t move, just his mouth stretching in a too wide grin. Then, his eyes opened to reveal two inky black orbs.

”Isn’t it obvious, little Hunter? I am you.” The demon rasped out, it’s voice warped and coarse, like nails on a chalkboard.

”No. No, that’s impossible. You’re impossible.” Dean stammered, backing away slowly as the other him began to float closer, no part of its mouth moving as it spoke back to him.

”Am I? Is it really that hard for you to face your true nature. You’re a demon, just like me! You are me. Unworthy, unclean, unnecessary. You belong in the pit. And soon, you’ll be there.” 

Dean fell to the floor, shaking violently as thoughts and fears tore around him like a hurricane. He clawed painfully at his head and flesh and winced as pain ripped through him, satisfying but confusing, only making the jumble in his head worse.

”Stop fighting me, Dean. You’ll kill them. The ones you love, who love you so. You’ll kill them, and when you do, I’ll be waiting.”

”NO!” Dean screamed at the top of his lungs, before he was suddenly jarred from the dark area he was in, light and sensation and reality flooding back to him in an instant.

Hands were pulling at him, touching him, grabbing him, and Dean immediately shoved them away, scrambling to get back and falling back from whatever he was in and slamming his back and head into the floor. Only when worries cries reaches his ears did he realize who was there.

”Dean, Dean, are you okay? Talk to me, what happened? Was it a nightmare?” Cas asked frantically as Dean curled up on his side, clutching his head tightly. 

Gabriel came by Castiel’s side, kneeling down with him next to Dean. Gabriel reaches out a tentative hand towards Dean only to have him scream as he approached, flinching as Dean groaned with pain.

”Get-get away. I-I’ll hurt you. You have to get away.” Dean stammered out weakly, before the pin in his head and the dizziness the over took him made the nausea too much, and he threw up the milk from earlier.

”I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Dean prayed, the mantra stabbing at the angels’ hearts as they debated over what to do.

”Dean, baby, can I touch you?” Cas asked after a little while, reaching his hand out, but quickly retracting it as Dean jerked away, causing another wave of nausea and him to gag violently and wince.

Guilt and fear swam through Cas’s chest as Dean began shaking uncontrollably, sobs wracking his frame as he sobbed and clutches at his head, his face going beet red. Cas looked at Gabriel for guidance, who looked just as lost as his little brother, wanting nothing more than to heal his baby. 

”Dean, please, you have to tell us how to help you. I can’t see you in pain like this and not do anything.” Gabriel chokes out, the tension in his arms and look in his yellow eyes showing how difficult it was for the archangel to hold back.

Dean took in a sharp breath, his beautiful pink eyes flickering once before filling with glittering tears, filling Cas and Gabriel’s hearts with sadness and concern. Hot, fat tears began to roll down his cheeks as he cried silently, the tight, pained look in his eyes nearly too much for his Caregivers to bear.

“I.... I don’t...I don’t deserve it....” Dean choked out, making Cas gasp audibly and Gabriel growl. 

”That is not true. That is absolutely untrue, Dean Winchester, and I will not have you saying such things.” Gabriel scolded fiercely, only stopping when Dean’s face crumpled, and he broke out into a litany of “I’m sorry”s, the sores sounding like he was begging.

”Gabriel, don’t talk to him like that.” Cas scolded, and Dean panicked, looking up at his Caregivers as best as he could without turning his head.

”No! No, don’t fight! I’m not worth it!” Dean sobbed, and Gabriel flared out his wings.

”Dean...” he began, before Cas stopped him, putting a hand in his shoulder and looking at his brother with a fierce glare.

”Gabriel, stop.” Cas warned, and Gabriel widened his eyes, guilt filling his gaze as he looked down at Dean, who was curled in a ball, sobbing and shaking.

”I’m-I’m sorry.” Gabriel muttered, looking like a kicked puppy.

”It’s okay.” Dean muttered, his body shaking too much for his voice to have much volume.

”Baby, please. Let us help you. You aren’t going to hurt us. You couldn’t even if you tried. You’re a human and we’re angels. We’re you’re Caregivers and we want to help you. Please. Please let us heal you.” Cas begged, and Dean broke down, using his hands to cover his face. 

For a long, long while, the angels got no reply, and they began to become panicked as Dean did nothing but wail and cry, his concussion becoming concerning. Finally, after nearly half an hour, Dean let out a wordless plea, opening his arms and gesturing he wanted to be picked up.

Without hesitation, Cas immediately scooped him up and into his arms, using his grace to heal his head and erase any trace of vomit or sweat or tears anywhere in the room. Then, he pulled Dean as close to him as possible, wrapping both arms and wings around him and holding his shuddering frame tightly.

”Oh baby. I love you so much. I love you so much.” Cas sobbed, his pent up fear and guilt and frustration as he and his baby Crimea’s together.

From behind him, arms wrapped around Cas’s frame, pulling him into his brother’s lap. Cas immediately relaxed into the embrace as Gabriel’s lower wings wrapped around Cas and Dean, and his upper wings opened, flying them to the nest.

They sat like that for several hours, Cas clutching into Dean like a lifeline, and Gabriel holding his brother and his baby gently in his lap, his wings wrapped comfortably around both. It is in this position that Sam found them, seeing Cas and Dean asleep on Gabriel’s lap as he returned that evening before dinner.

”What happened?” Sam asked quietly, coming to sit on the bed by them and carding his fingers through Dean’s hair.

In left of a verbal answer, Gabriel pressed two fingers against Sam’s head, transferring the memory of the event to his head. Sam’s eyes widened in wordy before his face softened, smiling down at the sleeping pair.

”I’ll get some sandwiches and a bottle ready, and then it’s time for bed.” Sam said, skipping out of the nest quietly.

”I think that’s a lovely idea.” Gabriel said, stroking back Dean’s hair and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

”I love you so much, baby. Don’t worry. Your Daddy, Papa, and I will never let you fall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! Terry Pie again! What did you guys think of this last chapter? I worked really hard on it so please let me know in the comments! I hope everyone is doing at least okay during the hellish quarantine. Maybe my story helps quell some of the boredom. If it does, then lovely! If not, then that’s a shame, and I hope you find entertainment elsewhere! Anyway, comments and kudos are much appreciated! I love you all!


	17. Voices In My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Sam are called to help Bobby suddenly, leaving Cas alone with the baby. However, when something goes horribly wrong, Cas is forced to go save his brother, leaving Dean alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a section in this story that was requested of me which is based on an idea developed by SailorChibi. I give her full credit for the idea!

"What happened? Is Bobby going to be okay? Do you need me to go over there?"

Cas's voice was frantic as he clutched Dean closer to him, holding him on his hip and pressing the phone against his ear harder than he needed to. Dean looked up at him with fearful pink eyes, confusion, and apprehension in his gaze.

" I don't know the situation yet. All we know is we were going to get some supplies for Dean when we got a call from Bobby. It was just screaming and laughter. Gabriel and I are heading there now. Just stay there and protect Dean, okay? That's all that matters." Sam said, before he abruptly hung up, leaving Cas with an overwhelming sense of anxiety and doom.

" Daddy? What's going on?" Dean asked tearfully, clutching onto Cas with desperation.

" Shhh, hush little one. We're going to go into the nest now, alright? You just stay calm, okay?" Cas cooed, his feathers puffing our in agitation as he wrapped his wings and arms around the baby, pulling him as close as possible and hiding him from the world.

" Daddy?" Dean asked once again, his voice small as Cas began to growl softly, the rumbles sounding less threatening and more like a cornered dog.

Quickly, Cas carried Dean from where they had been enjoying a relaxed lunch at the table, leaving the chicken and mac & cheese discarded in his haste. He glanced around nervously, his yellow eyes flickering around the room as if a jump scare was waiting for them.

Dean, on the other hand, had no concept of what was going on at all, sensing the tension coming off of his Daddy and responding accordingly, tending at every sound and burrowing his head in Castiel's chest, shaking as fear began to overwhelm him.

As soon as Cas reached the nest, he closed the door and used his grace to etch in every protective sigil he could think of, Enochian or otherwise, causing the door to glow as he slammed it closed, causing Dean to startle and begin to cry, confused and scared.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, my darling one. Hush now, Daddy's here. It's okay. It's okay." Cas cooed, his attention shifting to Dean as the baby squirmed in his arms, tears beginning to stream down his face as he slipped even father into his headspace.

"Daddy, Daddy," Dean whined, making Cas pull Dean's face up to look into his, running his hands briskly over Dean's skin, checking for injuries as his breath quickened.

"What is it, little one? Mama and Papa are going to be just fine, alright? No need to panic, darling. No need to panic, I'll always protect you." Cas said confidently, some of his anxiety waning as his little boy clutched tightly to him.

Cas chuckled as he felt Dean's soul tugging aggressively at his grace, seeking the warmth and comfort the divine energy would provide him. Cas smiled gently and reached out to encompass the glowing soul in his power, wrapping it up like swaddling a child, making Dean relax immediately against him, purring contently.

Then, a strange shiver went up Castiel's spine as the oddest sensation washed over him. It was warm and comfortable, but also very intimate, almost to the point of being invasive. He glanced over at his wing, where the sensation originated, and his eyes widened at what he saw.

Dean laid on his side, curled up cutely, a look of innocence and calm washed over his face. His rosy cheeks puffed up around the large, black secondary feather in his mouth. Cas blinked and stared in fascination as Dean's mouth worked around the feather, his throat bobbing every few seconds to show that he was swallowing.

Dean was _drinking his grace_.

The sensation was not unpleasant. It was very odd, like someone was touching, no, _consuming_ trace amounts of Cas's essence. He shifted the baby a bit in his arms, resting him so that he could support him with only an arm and a wing, using his other arm to brush back the baby's lengthening hair.

What did this mean? Cas had heard of angels having babies that nursed in this way before, but it was always baby _angels_ , not Littles, and humans at that. Cas felt a flash of anxiety as he wondered if his grace might hurt the baby, trying to figure out whether or not to pull him off. If his grace injured the boy, he would never forgive himself, but if it was helpful or calming to him, he didn't want to disturb him after he had been so upset before.

In baby angels, back when God was still around and first creating them, far before the Earth was born, nursing like this was very common. It would create a bond between the baby angels and their older brethren, strengthening their grace and helping than gain their abilities such as healing and flight. The practice hadn't been around for many, many years, as there were no baby angels, and humans usually wouldn't ever try to nurse from an angel's wings. However, as Cas looked down at his baby, suckling happily on his feather without a care in the world, he realized something.

Usually, if a human consumes the grace of an angel, it burns them up from the inside out in a violent inferno, holy fire of rage, and the righteous fury of God. However, Dean seemed blissfully unaffected by such symptoms. When Cas took a closer inspection at his soul, he realized that it was blossoming with the addition of angelic grace, the already glowing light shining with heavenly power. It was still very, very human, but it was as clean and healthy as a newborn soul as if years of darkness and Hell had never touched it.

A wave of protectiveness and love washed over Cas as his grace reveled in the attention from Dean's soul, warmth, happiness, and love flooding through him as his baby nursed. It was much like other angels had told him in the past, something primal and instinctual, but healthy and comforting. It made him want to keep Dean safe, watch him play, and be happy and live his life to the files. Cas bundled him even closer, tears swelling in his eyes as intense, very human emotions filled him, making him gasp at the overwhelming intensity of it.

Of course, as a fallen angel and a Caregiver himself, Cas has always felt more human emotions than his brethren, but this was different. Dean and Cas had always had a profound bond, and Cas could feel hints of his passion there, giving him the chance to understand humanity before he'd fallen. Falling allowed him to feel human emotion for himself, a beautiful and agonizing experience he wouldn't trade for the world. But none of that could compare to the powerful emotions he felt now.

Dean was his. His baby, his responsibility, and the one thing Cas knew he loved more than anything else in the known and unknown existences. The angel would do more than die for him, for Cas had been killed for him already. Cas decided, no, he wouldn't just die for him.

He would live for him.

Cas's heart swelled, and the tears spilled over, joyful laughter bubbling up in him as he burrowed his head in Dean's hair. With the overwhelming happiness only love can produce, Cas laughed and laughed, tears flowing down his cheeks as he was drastically overwhelmed by feeling.

Dean looked up at his Daddy with concern and confusion, babbling softly and letting the feather slide out of his mouth. He reached his hands up and touched Cas's cheek, making the angel look down at him and reduce his laughter to soft chuckles. He turned his head and kissed Dean's palm, a broad, toothy smile locked firmly in place on his face. Dean smiled in response, letting out a high-pitched giggle and letting his hand fall back to his chest.

_~RING! RING!~ ~RING! RING!~_

Cas tensed as a loud ringing erupted from his phone on the bed next to him, causing Dean to startle and cling to Cas, beginning to cry. Cas glowered at the tiny machine, his joy sullied and turned to anxiety and frustration. He bounced his baby up and down a few times, shushing him as he reached out for his phone, accepting the call quickly without looking at the caller ID.

"What is it?" He asked curtly, a scowl forming on his face as Dean's sobs continued, breaking Cas's heart.

"Cassie, we need your help. Something went wrong. Sam, he-" Gabriel's voice was cut off abruptly by the sound of a gunshot and shattering glass.

Cas sat up abruptly, jarring Dean as he dragged his head into the crook of his neck, covering him with his wing. Dean whined and tried to look up nervously, but Cas held his head steady, frozen in fear.

"Gabriel? Gabriel, what's going on?" Cas questioned sharply, his grip tightening on the phone.

"Cas...Sam...witches.....hellhound...archangel blade...help." Gabriel said, his connection fading in and out before finally dropping out altogether, leaving Cas sitting there in shock, the disconnection tone ringing loudly in his ear.

"Daddy?" Dean asked, looking up at the horror blooming on Cas's face.

The angel began to shake violently, the thoughts in his head churning like the torrents of a hurricane, making the blue of his grace and the yellow of his instincts swirl together in his eyes. 

What would he do? Dean was far too deep in his headspace for Cas to take him to the battlefield, something he was reluctant to do, headspace or not. He loathed to leave him here alone, but he didn't seem to have much of a choice. With much reluctance, Cas stood, carrying Dean with him and taking him over to his nursery.

"Alright, my love. Daddy has to help Mama, okay? You just stay here in your nursery and stay safe, alright? Daddy loves you so much." Cas said, tears filling his eyes as he set Dean down in his crib.

Dean stared up at him, his eyes filled with tears and confusion as he whimpered. He lifted his hands to his Daddy, causing Cas's heart to shatter as he looked down sadly at his baby.

"I love you so much, munchkin. Be safe." Cas said apologetically before he opened his wings and promptly disappeared.

Dean stared at the area where his Daddy had just been standing, feeling lost and rejected. He just couldn't understand why Daddy had left, and why they had stopped eating lunch, and why he was all alone. Misery bloomed in his chest as he curled up in his crib, tears filling his eyes and his lips turning into a pout.

"Daddy..." Dean sobbed, wrapping his arms around his legs and wailing in grief and confusion, just wanting his Mama and Daddy and Papa to come back and cuddle.

Dean lifted his head a little, wanting his kitty if he couldn't have is parents. Instead, he was greeted with the sight of a small chubby seal laid next to him, a stuffed animal he didn't recognize but was immediately fascinated with. He clutched it tightly to his chest, loneliness making him desperate.

He stayed like that for a long time, falling in and out of sleep as exhaustion overtook his fear. When he awoke next, a sharp pang of fear shot through him, and he sat up as quickly as he could, looking around the dimly lit nursery.

His headspace fell off of him like a duck shedding water, suddenly but smoothly, his head clearing and the severity of the situation finally sinking in. He looked down at himself in disgust, the onesie and diaper getup still making him uncomfortable as he pushed himself up and out of his crib.

"Dammit." Dean cursed softly, moving to put the seal down.

However, something in him stopped him as he went to put it down, suddenly feeling attached to the comforting item. He looked at it oddly, the tiny thing smaller than the palm of his hand, but round and cute, firm but soft. Despite the less than ideal situation, he found himself taking it with him as he walked into the next room.

"I have to go help them. It's been a damn long time. If there's anything I know about those idiots, it's that they wouldn't leave me this long by myself if it weren't serious." Dean muttered to himself, undoing the buttons on his onesie with his empty hand.

_They don't want your help, Dean._

Dean froze at the voice echoing in his mind, looking around the room to see if he was alone. But no, the sound was coming from in his mind. Dean sighed and shook out his head, peeling the onesie from his skin distastefully.

_Why do you even bother, Dean? How do you know you aren't just a chore to them?_

Dean stumbled a bit in surprise once more, feeling a strange, poisonous feeling of doubt swelling in his mind. He slowed his movements and sat back on the bed in nothing but a diaper, pulling the tiny seal into his lap. A chore? Was he nothing more than a task to them?

It would make sense. Dean's Caregivers felt responsible for him. Cas had saved him from Hell, claimed him, but that was before he ever even knew him. He was a responsibility. It would make sense if that were all he was. Gabriel was loyal to Cas and would help him through any hardship if Cas asked him to.

Sam? Well, he had always been there for Sam. He had cared for him unconditionally, acting as a parent for years. Maybe he felt that he had to repay Dean for what he'd done? That must be why he was taking on such an unpleasant job.

Dean's breath began to quicken as horror and realization rushed through him, making his stomach churn with disgust and self-hatred. He had been taking advantage of them, hadn't he?

_Come on, Dean, did it take you this long to realize it? They don't love you. They don't even like you. Given a choice, they would ditch you. Just like right now. Don't you want to know why your precious Daddy ditched you?_

Dean began to hyperventilate, ripping off his diaper and throwing it across the room, dry and discarded. He tangled his fingers in his hair desperately, his legs moving automatically to carry him back and forth across the room.

_Do you actually believe they're going to come back?_

Dean stopped in his tracks, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. His knees buckled, and he fell to the ground, the shock weighing heavily on his mind and making him curl into a tight ball.

_You're weak._

Dean flinched, digging his fingernails into his palms as self-hatred and panic overtook all rational thoughts, shivers wracking his body, worsening his nausea. He gagged several times, barely managing to keep the little bit of food he'd eaten that day down.

_You don't deserve them. You don't deserve their care._

Dean clutched his hands around his ears, trying to block out the horrible voice in his head. His muscles ached as he shook, his face scrunched as tightly as he possibly could to keep tears from escaping.

_But you can fix this._

Dean froze, his only movement the shudders still running through him. He waited intently, begging, practically praying for the voice to give him the answer. He couldn't keep doing this to his friends, to his brother.

_Leave them._

The words struck a painful chord in Dean's mind, something in him snapping with violent recoil. The shattering in his mind make him shut down, his emotions fading as he sat up robotically, all attention trained on the voice inside him.

_Don't make it big. Don't make an announcement, or they'll stop you. You can't let them, they've gone through enough pain for your sake. Just slip out, do it now._

As if in a trance, Dean stood, grabbing some clothes blindly and throwing them on. With silent tears streaming down his face, he went for the door, pausing as he passed by the little seal that had fallen to the floor. Choking back a sob, he reached down and shoved it into his pocket before walking out the bedroom door.

Taking a quick detour, he grabbed a few knives and a gun from the weapons room downstairs, making sure to take a careful look around. This would be the last time he saw this place, after all.

As he walked back up through the living room, he looked out at all of his Little supplies, feeling a crippling wave of guilt drown him as Dean remembered the happiness he felt, finally realizing it was all fake. He had hurt them too much for them to love him. He finally understood that.

"'Bye, guys. I'll always love you." Dean choked out, before he trudged slowly up the stairs, the seal in his pocket weighing him down as he struggled up the stairs.

Dean froze as a soft fluttering sound reached his ears.

"Dean? What are you doing?" Cas's soft, concerned, exhausted voice reached his ears.

He'd been caught.

Well, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! Did I make you sad? I'm sorry, but don't worry! Everything will turn out okay in the end! I do hope you keep reading; you guys are the best! I'm so sorry it took me longer than my usual update time to post this, but I am currently dealing with loads of homework and school assignments this week! Hopefully, once this dies down a little, I can go back to my daily schedule. I'll post as often as possible, my lovelies! I love you all!


	18. Bad Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean struggles with the voice in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry, my darlings! I have had the hardest week with my schoolwork, and I just haven't had the time or energy to write. I know I used to update daily, and I haven't been holding up to that, so I'm so sorry. I promise you I'll get back on track as soon as possible. Maybe updates every other day would be easier for me if that's okay with you!

"Dean? What are you doing?" Cas's soft, concerned, exhausted voice reached his ears.

He'd been caught.

Well, fuck.

Dean turned around awkwardly, his brain scrambling to come up with an excuse. When Cas's form came into view, he let out a strangled gasp, all thoughts dashed from his mind as he sprinted down the stairs as fast as his legs could manage. He tripped a few times in his haste, but was by Cas's side in an instant, gawking at his state.

"What the hell happened?" Dean screamed, making Cas flinch and sigh heavily.

Drenched from head to toe in sticky, clotted blood, the angel looked like he'd walked straight out of a horror scene. Even his hair stuck to his face, the blood around the area dried in a disgusting clot. Dean took a step back, his nose wrinkled at the awful stench as he looked Cas over for injuries, though nothing was visible underneath the red covering him.

"My question first, Dean. What were you doing before I got here?" Cas asked, his voice gruff and insistent.

Dean scrabbled to think of a viable excuse when he realized what Cas must be thinking he was doing when he arrived.

"I was going to help." Dean lied, simply and confidently, knowing that even an angel lie detector would likely be unable to recognize that.

Cas sighed heavily, his hands twitching as he longed to reach out to Dean and pull him into a hug. Dean stood, frozen and holding his breath, praying to himself that Cas would be too preoccupied to sense his true intentions.

"Dean. We'll talk about this when Gabriel and Sam get home. You can't go running off to find us on hunts." Cas huffed, and Dean let out a relieved breath as quietly as he could.

"Now, my turn. What the hell happened, Cas? You look like you took a bath in a butcher's shop." Dean commented, wrinkling his nose as he took a huff of the awful stench.

Cas looked down at his once tan trenchcoat, now entirely drenched in blood and guts, dying it a quite distasteful rusted red. A look of disgust and exasperation spread across his face, and Dean had to stifle a laugh, finally broken out of his odd, depressed stupor, for the moment, at least.

Strange darkness continued to loom in the back of his mind, however, threatening to swallow up his thoughts and replace them with doubts and self-hatred once more. Like the headspace that loomed over him, he pushed it away, choosing to focus on the here and now.

"Gabriel and Sam arrived at Bobby's house to find him untouched, and quite confused about their visit. As they began to leave, they were ambushed by a group of several witches, two demons, and a hellhound. With Gabriel's power, they were fine until the hellhound came into play. Gabriel was injured, and he called for me because he and Sam were overwhelmed with the sheer number. Once I arrived, we were able to eradicate them all. Gabriel and Sam stayed back to clean up the bodies and reinforce Bobby's house." Castiel explained matter-of-factly, looking at Dean with an odd glint in his gaze.

"Jesus," Dean muttered, his eyebrows furrowing as a wave of guilt flooded through him, irritating his headspace.

"Are you alright?" Cas asked softly, looking intently at Dean as he attempted to remain neutral in his expressions.

All of the darkness that had vanished in Cas's presence came rushing back with the knowledge that Ma- _Gabriel_ got hurt because of him. He gritted his teeth and averted his gaze from Cas's quickly to hide the flickering emotions, and the struggle to remain in his Big headspace reflected clearly in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Now, go clean yourself up; you look like a scene from Saw." Dean grumbled, putting up a gruff facade to attempt to hide how much he was struggling.

Cas gazed at him for a few more very drawn out and quite uncomfortable moments, unwilling to drop the subject so quickly. It was clear to Cas that Dean was going through a lot of effort to hide something from him; He was not born yesterday. Yet, it also appeared evident that Dean wouldn't be revealing anything tonight. He mulled over whether or not to confront Dean on the issue, knowing that it could be something serious. Exhaustion and discomfort won that battle in his mind; however, as the blood caking his clothes and skin began to dry unpleasantly.

"Fine. Come with me." Cas ordered, and Dean put up no argument as the angel led him through the Bunker and into the master bathroom.

Once they were inside, Cas unceremoniously stripped off his ruined clothes, each garment disappearing before it hit the ground. He spared a few worried glanced at Dean as he methodically undid the buttons on his shirt, frowning a little as pink began to bleed into Dean's eyes. He met Cas's eyes and immediately averted his gaze, turning away and leaning casually against the lip of the sink. Dean quickly retreated into his head, worries about his baby brother, and Gabriel eating away at his mind. He didn't realize his teeth were worrying his lip, the bones tearing into the delicate flesh mercilessly, until blood bloomed in his mouth.

Dean sneered in disgust as the tangy, metallic taste coated his tongue, immediately feeling the desperate need to spit it out. With haste, he leaned over the sink and spat out the surprisingly large globule of blood into the sink, catching Cas's attention. Ignoring the angel as he stepped over, Dean turned on the faucet and dunked his mouth beneath it, hurriedly washing out all trace of the unpleasantly flavored liquid. With a grimace, he pulled away from the tap, using a nearby tea towel to wipe the frigid water and last traces of blood from his mouth.

Just as Dean reached to turn off the faucet, Cas caught his chin in newly cleaned fingers, forcing Dean's face to turn to him. Dean's eyes widened a bit as they passed over Cas's nearly bare, and suddenly immaculate form, covered only by a pair of spotless boxers.

"Baby..." Cas sighed gently, swiping his thumb across the injury, leaving the spot tingling with grace as it healed instantly.

Dean almost gave in. There he was, distraught, doubting himself, so upset over Sammy and Gabe that he could hardly stand it, and his headspace was shoving powerfully at his mind, begging to take over. And Cas was offering him comfort, closeness, regression. It sounded like a perfect offer. Why shouldn't he take it?

_You know the answer to that, don't you, Dean? You don't deserve what he's offering you. Especially not after everything he and your other Caregivers have just sacrificed for you._

The sound of the wiry voice in his head nearly made Dean jump out of his skin. Instead, he tensed, pulling out of Cas's grasp and shoving his headspace as far into the back corner of his mind as he possibly could, steeling himself as a wave of exhaustion and grief washed over him.

Hurt and rejection flickered in Cas's eyes as he took an uncertain step back, suddenly looking so worried and unsure of himself that Dean wanted to cry, or at least apologize. Before he could do anything, however, Cas recovered, plastering a tired smile on his face and gesturing towards the large bath on the far side of the room.

"Would you mind sitting with me while I bathe? I know it may be a bit uncomfortable. By human standards, nudity is commonly awkward. However, I will not remove the garment I am currently wearing, and the bath is more ceremonious than for actual cleaning." Cas explained, rambling a bit before Dean cut him off with a strained nod and a smile.

"Sure, Cas. I'll sit with you. I owe you at least that much." Dean said, a little harshly, and Cas raised his eyebrow at the deprecating tone his words held.

Choosing to remain silent, Cas took Dean by the shoulders, the man looking as if he was about to keel over, and led him to sit by the bath, summoning a pillow to make it a more comfortable sitting position. Dean sat down gratefully, his shoulders shaking a bit as his mind went wild with guilt and self-deprecation.

Cas watched helplessly as Dean retreated into his mind, unsure of what to do. What had caused such a sudden change in his mood? Of course, it had been a traumatizing day for all of them, Cas knew that. But it was unnerving to see Dean sitting there on the floor, dressed in Big clothes, but not completely Big, looking like he could shatter at any moment.

Not knowing what to do, he reached over Dean as smoothly and carefully as possible, turning the faucet to a warm temperature. Though baths were very unnecessary for the angel to partake in, it was a pleasant, calming experience, and he hoped the scent of soap and the warmth of steam would provide some sense of familiarity for his Little.

Once the tub had begun to fill, he gathered several bottles of different soaps and shampoos, unsure of which he was supposed to use. Sam had several complicated products to keep his long hair tamed, and this just so happened to be where Moose stored his goods. Finally, picking out a shampoo, conditioner, and body wash he deemed appropriate, Cas put the rest away and set those on the edge of the tub. He stepped past Dean and got into the water, doing his best to keep his body and wings from knocking into the distracted, trembling Little.

With a sigh, Cas relaxed into the warm water, letting the odd, human sensations wash over him as he submerged. His eyes slipped closed as he let out a content sigh, the warmth melting into his muscles. He had almost relaxed completely, his lack of grace and exhaustion catching up with him, when he felt a tug on his wing.

He opened his eyes a crack to see Dean clutching at his feathers tightly, his knees pulled up to his chest as his eyes, glittering with unshed tears, flickered madly between pink and green. His ability to relax immediately vanished, his eyes flashing yellow as his instincts awakened.

"Dean, my little lamb, what's wrong?" Cas asked frantically, shifting forward carefully to avoid jostling his wing or causing a spill in the water. Once he was close enough, he grabbed Dean's face with both hands and guided him to look into his eyes, his heart breaking at the vulnerable look in his baby's eyes.

Dean sat like that for a moment, the warm, wet sensation of Cas's hands on his face grounding and stable, helping him get a hold of himself before he could start to cry. He wanted to drop. He wanted to let go and let Cas take care of him. He wanted...

_Don't you dare finish that thought, you parasite._

Dean tensed suddenly at the voice in his head, ripping his head from Cas's grip and scrabbling until his back pressed against the opposite wall. Cas stared at him in shock, his wings hanging oddly at his sides as concern filled his golden gaze. Dean stood gracelessly, stumbling as he lurched to his feet in a feeble attempt to appear more in control than he was.

"I just...I...I need to be alone. I'm so sorry," Dean stammered out before he threw open the bathroom door and disappeared into the hallway, a draft of cold air coming in to settle over the room like a bad omen.

Cas sat up in the water, debating in his mind over whether or not to respect Dean's wishes to be alone or to go after him and coddle him until he eventually gave into Cas's desires. Finally, he decided that Dean had made it clear he didn't want to be around anyone right now, and it was Castiel's job as his Caregiver, and his Daddy, to respect that. With a frustrated sigh, Cas sat back in the bath, the feeling of the water much less appealing than it had been moments ago. Cas's wings fluttered and stretched as he ran his fingers through his hair, a sense of dread flooding through him as he realized Dean had pushed him away.

What the hell was going on?

******

Unfortunately, Dean was not as well off as Cas believed him to be, which was saying a lot, considering how bad off the angel thought him to be. Of course, that wasn't the angel's fault. Not only was Dean an excellent liar, but he had played the, "I want to be alone." card. In reality, a strange fog, similar in feeling but more sinister than his Little headspace, settled over his mind, dark and menacing and malicious. He tried to fight it, but he felt that the more he struggled, the farther he fell into its clutches.

Breathlessly, Dean stumbled through the Bunker, too panicked to realize where he was going or what he was doing. Somehow, he ended up in the kitchen, and he flopped unceremoniously onto one of the dining room chairs.

_How selfish of you, Dean. Cas risked his life to protect you. Gabriel and Sam too. And you're selfish enough, needy enough, to beg for Castiel's help like a dejected puppy?_

"Shut up. I didn't beg. I didn't ask him to do anything." Dean choked out, bringing his hand up to curl around his ears as if he could block out the words.

_Maybe not with your words. But your pathetic whimpers were begging enough. You're such a spoiled brat. It's vile. Disgusting._

Dean choked down a whimper as the truth of the words rang through him. A few silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to deny the realization, but it was too late. The words echoed hauntingly in his mind.

_Better stop that driveling, you whelp. Your other Caregivers will be here at any moment now._

With practiced breaths, Dean calmed himself physically, quickly wiping away his tears and dropping his arms to his lap just in time for the front door to open to reveal Sam and Gabriel, looking scraped up and beat, but otherwise completely fine. Dean let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding and mustered up as much self-control as he could, forcing himself to stand.

"Baby." Gabriel sighed out as soon as he caught sight of Dean standing by the dining table, opening his wings and appearing by Dean's side in an instant.

Gabriel pulled Dean into a warm, comforting hug, and Dean allowed himself to sink into it, carefully keeping his cracking facade intact as the archangel's wings came to wrap around him.

"You okay?" Dean forced out, his voice sounding gruff and Big, just as he did after a long night when he still posed as a Neutral.

As if sensing the difference in Dean, Gabriel pulled back looking Dean over with intense concern and suspicion before his eyes flickered to either side, obviously searching for Cas. Dean pulled away from Gabe gently, patting him awkwardly on the shoulder as he did his best to keep his eyes from flickering as he fought his headspace.

"He's in the bath," Dean explained, and Gabriel nodded thoughtfully, opening his wings and disappearing without another word, much to Dean's surprise.

Dean didn't have much time to prepare before Sam was next to him, pulling him into a tight, but thankfully very short hug. He patted Sam on the shoulder as he had Gabriel, finding himself trying to keep things as casual as possible for some unknown reason. It was clear to him that Sam noticed his discomfort, placing a gentle, steady hand on Dean's shoulder and waiting until Dean met his eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked, looking probingly into Dean's eyes, which immediately made Dean's gaze flick away.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Want a beer?" Dean offered suddenly, unexpectedly craving the release that alcohol used to give him before he regressed.

Biologically, Little's needed the emotional release that regressing gave them. Something about a lack of serotonin and dopamine that Dean hadn't paid enough attention to when he'd learned about it in grade school. Dean was well aware of this fact, which is why when he played his classification off as Neutral, he often turned to drinks to fill that void. If he could do it then, he reasoned, he could do it now.

"Sure. But Dean, are you sure you should be drinking? It's not very healthy for Littles of any age to consume alcohol." Sam pointed out, and Dean waved him off, knowing the only way he could keep his nerves and panic in check would be falling into bad habits, unfortunately.

Quickly, he grabbed a pack of beer out of the fridge, making Sam's eyebrow raise as he plucked one from the cardboard carrier. Dean followed suit, deftly opening the bottle of the bottle-opener on the side of the table before taking several large gulps. He knew he was drinking far too quickly, but desperation and panic made it challenging to accept that realization.

Immediately, the warmth of the alcohol washed over him, calming his nerves and helping force back his headspace. As soon as that beer was empty, he grabbed another, the heady, cold liquid dulling the last of the pain, the regret, the guilt. Sam continued to eye him with concern and suspicion, slowly nursing his beer and watching incredulously as Dean took another, and another, and another, until he was left staring listlessly at the table. He went to reach for one of the last in the package, but his hand fell, suddenly feeling far too heavy to move.

_Good boy, Dean. Very Good._

Then, Dean slumped over in his chair, causing Sam to cry out and rush to his side _._ His eyes slid closed, and the Bunker went to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! How are you all? I'm so sorry I took so long with the last chapter, I promise I'll be back on a regular schedule from now on! Please comment, it really makes me happy to see what you all think! I love you all!


	19. Salvation Of The Righteous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean falls back into old habits, and the Caregivers begin to realize something is very off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Intense self-deprecation, self-harm, and thoughts of suicide.

"Dean. Dean, you have to wake up, baby. Please. Come on. Cas, I thought you said you heal him."

Dean could hear Sam's voice from somewhere above him, but he couldn't see anything. His body felt cold and heavy, his limbs tingling slightly but far too numb to move. His head pounded relentlessly, like the world's worst hangover combines with an ocular migraine of demonic levels.

"I did heal him, Sam. He'll wake up soon; you just have to be patient. I'm worried about him too." Cas replied patiently, a sharp edge coloring his tone.

He sounded afraid. Afraid of what? What was going on? Dean couldn't remember...

Oh. Right.

Dean attempted to move one of his fingers, fear spiking through him as he realized he was completely immobile. He felt trapped in his own body, panic rising in his throat as he kept trying and trying to move, but remained utterly stationary. He could hear his heart beating slowly at first but quickening as adrenaline coursed through his veins.

"Do you hear that? Listen to his heart. He must be waking up." Gabriel said curtly, and Dean felt a pressure against his chest, pushing on his ribcage.

After a few more failed attempts, Dean managed to twitch one of his fingers slightly, another bout of determination surging through him at his success. Eventually, he was able to move his right hand with relative ease, each second passing painfully slowly. He then focused all of his energy on his eyelids, though trying to lift them felt like forcing a boulder up a 90-degree angle.

Finally, _finally,_ he was able to, agonizingly slowly, force his eyelids apart. He could swear he heard the skin tearing as he pulled them apart, the pain bringing tears springing up immediately. The room was too bright for him when light bled into the tiny slits that his eyelids made, and he found his face scrunching up as much as it could as he continued to allow more light in.

His head began to throb quite unpleasantly as the searing glow of the light in the Bunker reached his eyes, making him want to shut them tight and never open them again. He almost went with that option when a soft hand cupped his face.

"Come on, baby. I know you can do it. You're almost there." Gabriel's voice permeated Dean's thoughts, filling him with warmth and comfort.

With that last burst of energy, Dean was able to fully open his eyes, revealing his three Caregivers leaning over him with concern in their glowing eyes. If Dean could've gasped at their expressions, he would've, but instead, he settled on looking at each of them in total shock.

All three of his Caregivers had tears streaming steadily down their faces, Sam's face bloated and red hile he choked back even more sobs. Dean had never seen them so deep in their headspaces, the yellow of their eyes bleeding into the whites and giving it a golden effect, which was both beautiful and unsettling.

Gabriel's hair was mussed and matted, sticking up in some places and glued to his scalp in others. Cas's hair hadn't fared much better, though he looked like he had repeatedly carded his fingers over his scalp. Each Caregiver had dark circles under their eyes, which was such an odd sight for the angels that it threw Dean for a loop.

_Excellent job, Dean. Congrats on making your Caregivers' job harder. You deserve an award._

Dean flinched at the condescending, sarcastic tone of the voice, making Gabriel run his hands over Dean's body to check for any residual issues. Dean was shocked that he felt so awful. He'd never had trouble holding liquor before, and just because he's technically a Little shouldn't change that.

However, no matter how or why Dean caused so much trouble, he'd still burdened the three people standing above him, who clearly looked three steps past exhausted and overworked. Guilt began to churn in his stomach as he looked at them, tears building up in the back of his throat and pouring out unbridled.

"I'm so sorry." Dean croaked out automatically, causing Sam to break down in violent sobs.

Dean tensed as much as he could when Sam fell on top of him, pulling Dean close and tucking his head into the crook of his neck. It was then that Dean realized that they were in the nest and that his Caregivers had actually been kneeling by him while he laid on his back.

"Oh, my God. Dean...I'm so glad you're okay. You don't have to apologize. This isn't your fault." Cas choked out, and Dean turned his head as much as possible to look at the dejected angel, resting some of his weight on Gabriel.

Dean used some of his rapidly returning strength to shake his head, pulling carefully away from a sobbing Sam, who clung to him tighter the more he tried to move. So Dean sat there, bringing an arm up to stroke Sam's hair as he cried out his nerves and guilt, shaking violently.

"What-what the hell happened to me? All I remember is drinking a few beers..."

Sam snorted at that, pulling away from his brother just enough to look him in the eye.

"A few? Dean, I've never seen you drink so much, so quickly. We should've noticed something was wrong. Jesus." Sam chided, and Dean grabbed his shoulders weakly.

"What do you mean 'something was wrong?'" Dean questioned, looking from Sam to Cas as they glanced down, not meeting his eyes.

"Kodomo-Girai," Gabriel said after several moments, causing Dean to drop his arms in shock.

Kodomo-Girai. One of the deadliest mental disorders an SC can get. The rarest of all the Classification related diseases, it can only be contracted by Littles who deny their headspace. Such denial creates a rift in the mind, splitting the mindset of the Little side and the Big side. It has no cure.

What makes Kodomo-Girai deadly is the way it eats away at the strength of the Little's body. It starts with psychosis, then indecision, then desperation and hunger, and then, it begins to sap the vitality of the infected by splitting it between the two halves, but never giving either enough to survive. However, Dean had never heard of someone with Kodomo-Girai who became self-deprecating or heard voices in their head. 

Dean stared down at his hands, feeling despondent as the realization of his fate sunk in. Sam slipped both of his hands into his own, giving them a gentle squeeze as he tried to support his brother.

"So, this is it then." Dean choked out, embarrassed to be crying about his death. It's not like this was the first time.

"What? No! Absolutely not! No, no, no, baby, we would never let that happen to you, okay? I healed you. I put your mind back together once, and so I did it again." Cas insisted, grabbing Dean's chin and guiding him to meet his eyes.

"You're going to be just fine, my little lamb," Gabriel said, bringing one of his wings around to brush against Dean's face.

Relief flooded through Dean instantly as Cas's word's washed over him, causing his muscles to relax. Sam caught him and pulled him close again, supporting him as he cried out of relief.

_Come on, Dean. You didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you? Your Daddy may have healed you physically, but in your head, you're just as fucked as you've always been._

Dean tensed and ripped himself out of Sam's arms, startling himself and his Caregivers immensely. Sam looked at him with hurt and concern on his face, his hands still resting awkwardly on his lap. Dean looked out over his Caregivers and realized that it was his turn, for the first time in a very long time, for him to protect them.

"I lied to you, Cas." Dean blurted out, blanching as the words passed his lips, but too far in to turn back now.

Cas stared at him, flabbergasted, as he tried to figure out what the hell was happening.

"What? What do you mean?" Cas asked, and Dean sighed, sitting back and averting his eyes, gathering courage.

"When you got back from the Hunt, you asked what I was doing. I told you I was going to help you. That was a lie." Dean admitted.

The room fell into a terse silence then, and it took everything in him to stay still and not panic. He shoved his fear as far down into himself as he could, knowing it would only be so long until it burst out in a brilliant display.

"What was the truth?' Gabriel questioned, his voice cold and biting, shaking the foundations of Dean's control.

"I was...leaving. I was going to leave and never come back."

You could've heard a pin drop.

"You...what?" Sam asked, his voice burning with fury.

Dean flinched but forced himself to look up at his brother, cringing to see that he was no longer in his headspace, and the only thing glowing in his eyes was rage.

"I was going to leave." Dean choked, his shaky grasp on his emotions slipping quickly.

As Gabriel and Sam stared at Dean with righteous anger, Dean screwed his mouth shut, knowing the second he tried to talk, he would burst into tears.

"So, that's how it is, huh? After everything we did for you..." Sam chuckled darkly, drawing Dean's attention to him.

"Were we not good enough for you, Dean? Were you going to take advantage of us like you take advantage of everyone else? Was this just a game to you? Why? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU!" Sam screamed, his face red as he lowered himself to Dean's level.

Dean's heart tore in half as he heard the one thing he thought he would never hear from his brother. Immediately, Sam slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes filling with tears and regret as le looked into the crestfallen, deadened face of his Little.

Cas reached out to put a calming hand on Sam's arm, looking unsure. Sam's hand slipped down and fell into his lap, revealing that he had managed to control his expression, his jaw set. His face was stony as he turned away from Dean to look at Cas.

"Sam, maybe we should hear him out." Cas reasoned, but Sam threw his arm off, tears slipping down his cheeks as he snarled.

"No, Cas. He doesn't deserve it. Get out of my sight, you vermin." Sam growled, the word tearing Dean up from the inside out.

Without another word, Dean crawled out of bed, shaking so violently he tripped and fell on his way out of the door. Gabriel turned to him, but instead of offering his help, he sneered down at Dean, a look of betrayal and hatred etched onto his face.

Dean rushed out of the nest as fast as physically possible, bolting to his room and locking the door behind him. Finally, he let his emotions run free, violent sobs tearing from his chest as he wailed loudly. Hyperventilating, Dean slammed his back against the door and slid down onto the floor, black spots appearing in his vision, and his knees gave out.

_I didn't think it was possible to fuck up as much as you just did, Dean. Maybe you should make yourself an award._

"Shut up. Leave me alone." Dean ordered, his voice sounding more like a plea than a threat.

_Or what? You'll kill the big, scary voice in your head? You're useless, you know that? Can't you see that they don't want you anymore? They didn't even give you the chance to tell them about me._

Dean sobbed again, resting his head in his hands and tearing at his hair. The pain helped clear his mind. It was familiar, something he was quite used to from his previous panic attacks.

_You know, if you're feeling as guilty as I think you are, there is one way you can atone._

A chord struck, deep inside Dean's subconscious, dark and deadly, one he recognized from his adolescence. He lifted his head a bit as he registered what the voice was referring to. At first, he violently shook his head, digging his nails into the flat of his palm. But the pain felt so satisfying, so _right_.

With shaking hands, Dean reached his hand into his pocket, feeling around for the switchblade he'd put there earlier. When his hand hit the cold metal of the blade, he drew it out, flipping it open quickly and bringing it to the flesh on the inside of his arm.

"I shouldn't do this. It's not right." Dean muttered, though his voice sounded far less convincing than he wanted it too.

_Why not? You deserve it. You want it. It's not like your precious little Caregivers care what happens to you anymore._

With a practiced flick, Dean drew the knife across his wrist, not deep enough to cause any significant bleeding, but enough to hurt like a bitch. His mind quieted as it focused on the sharp, throbbing pain in his hand.

He brought the blade down again.

And again.

Ang again.

******

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Sam sneered at Cas, his face filled with hurt and fury as tears continued to flow endlessly down his cheeks.

"What do you mean 'What the hell is wrong with you?' He lied to us, Cas. He used us for our Classification, and he was going to throw us away like trash. He deserved way worse than what I gave him." Sam huffed, his anger making him irrational, and he knew it.

Cas growled deeply at Sam, the rumbles so loud that it caused the taller man to cower a bit. Cas's eyes glowed brightly with his instincts and grace, sensing that a profound injustice had taken place. Only, he couldn't figure out who the victim was in this senario.

"You told your brother, _MY LITTLE_ , that he was disgusting! You called him a _vermin_! You said you hated him! And so I ask again, _**WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, SAM WINCHESTER!?** " _Cas screamed, his grace so prominent in his voice that it shook the foundations of the room. He took this time to thank Gabriel mentally for the soundproof reinforcements on the house.

"Hey, Cas. Calm down." Gabriel said soothingly, but Cas was not fooled, turning sharply to face his brother.

"I don't want to hear is, Gabriel. You are supposed to be that baby's Mama, so _fucking act like it_!" Cas hissed, and Gabriel's eyes lit up with recognition and regret.

"Oh, God." He muttered softly, his frame shrinking as he realized what he'd done.

Cas had never been angrier at the younger Winchester in his entire life than at this moment. With a snarl planted firmly on his face, Cas placed two fingers on Sam's forehead, using his grace to send Sam a memory of that moment from Dean's perspective. Sam's eyes widened as he pulled his fingers away, immediately springing with tears as his knees gave out, forcing him to sit.

"Oh, my God. I can't believe I said that to him. To my baby. Oh, my God. Cas, he's gonna hate me. My baby." Sam muttered, his voice so heartbroken and filled with regret that Cas's anger deflated.

"He isn't going to hate you, Sam. We'll give him time, and then all of us can grovel and beg for forgiveness to our heart's content, alright?" Cas offered, and Sam sniffled.

"I can't wait," Gabriel said suddenly, his voice full of tears.

Cas opened his wings and appeared before his brother, ignoring his warning growl.

"We have to go together. I'll go first while you two wait outside the door, okay?" Cas offered, and Gabriel smiled sadly, nodding.

Little did they know, their time was running out.

******

_How does it feel, Dean? Isn't it lovely?_

Rubies. The knife dripped brilliant ruby drops, plopping one after the other on the carpet of his room. Dean watched them with dead eyes, all emotion had gone from him. All logical thought banished. All that was left was the echo of his brother's words, and the voice.

_I have one more idea that we can try. Wouldn't it be just beautiful if you could fulfill your brother's wish? If you could get out of his sight forever?_

Dean lifted his head in surprise at that, leaning back to rest his skull against the wood that made up the footboard of his bed. He didn't remember when he'd moved here, but it didn't really matter where he sat now.

"You mean...?"

_I Do._

Dean pulled the tiny stuffed seal that had been resting in his pocket until now out to look at it, happy that he had some reminder of the most comfortable time of his life with him when he would rid the world of the problem that was his existence. Hey, on the bright side, he wouldn't be wasting perfectly good oxygen anymore.

_Are you ready, Dean?_

Dean looked down at the littering of lacerations on his arm, thin, red, puffy lines one right after the other. This wouldn't be too different. Just a little deeper, a different direction.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

Dean tightened his grip on the knife, giving the seal a kiss goodbye on the head, and brought the blade to his skin.

"Dean? Can I talk to you for a moment, please? We need to fix what happened a little while ago.

Dean stopped his movements as Cas's voice sounded from the other side of the door, startling him.

"Hey, Daddy. You don't have to worry about me anymore. It'll all be over soon." Dean chirped, wanting to provide Cas with some modicum of comfort knowing that Dean would soon be eliminated from his life.

"What? Dean, what does that...Is that blood?" Cas asked, his voice suddenly urgent.

Dean went to open his mouth to ask how Cas could've possibly known that when the door splintered. Dean didn't even flinch as Cas, Sam, and Gabriel barged into the room, the knife still poised to make the killing blow.

Cas froze as he saw Dean sitting there, his exposed wrist covered in fresh cuts and drying blood. At the sight, Sam leaned over and retched, sobs and guilt making it nearly impossible to breathe.

"Dean. Drop that knife, now." Cas ordered, using his grace to compel the man to listen to him.

Immediately, Dean's grip on the blade slackened, letting it slide to the floor. Cas was at his side in an instant, his hands shaking as he grabbed his arm quickly and healed every cut, dissolving the knife and any evidence of his wound. Dean looked up at his Caregiver in confusion as Cas began to cry, clutching Dean's hand's tight.

Gabriel came up behind Cas and fell to his knees next to his brother, clear from the look on his face that he was in shock. His gaze drifted to the seal sitting on Dean's lap, and his eyebrows drew together before he gasped in horror and recognition.

"This is a hex bag!" Gabriel exclaimed, snatching the tiny stuffed animal up and tearing through the outer cloth to reveal what was clearly a hex bag.

"What? Is that what caused all of this damage? Of course, I'm so stupid. How did I not see it earlier? It wasn't a disease sapping his strength, it was this damn hex! We have to burn it now!"

Before the sentence had even escaped Sam's mouth, the bag burst into flame in Gabriel's hand, the archangel's eyes glowing with grace and fury.

As if awoken from a trance, Dean snapped to attention, looking at his Caregivers with relief and trepidation in his face.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Dean cried, launching himself into Cas's arms.

Cas caught him carefully, bringing the baby into his lap and breaking down into violent sobs that wracked his whole body. Dean joined in on the crying, and soon everyone in the room was crying and cuddling around the Little, relieved, guilty, and thankful that Dean was okay, that he was still here.

"Absolutely none of this is your fault, little one. You're okay. I promise we will never let anyone hurt you again." Cas whispered, and Sam and Gabriel nodded their agreement, overcome by emotions.

"I love you so much, Daddy. And you too, Mama and Papa. Even if you don't love me back." Dean sniffled, and the Caregivers all hugged him tighter, their hearts breaking as they realized that they had a lot to make up for.

"We all love you, baby. So, so much. Don't ever forget that." Sam insisted.

They sat in silence for a moment before Gabriel flew them back to the nest, wanting to get out of what felt like a haunted room as fast as possible. As they all cuddled together in the nest, Sam cuddled into his brother, kissing his head softly.

"I'm so, so sorry, baby," Sam whispered.

"It's okay, Papa. I love you."

I love you too, lamb. I love you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! Can I just start by saying, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean for Sam to turn out as mean as he did, but it's just how it went. That was probably the angstiest thing I've ever written, and I promise, that's it for the angst for a long while. Thank you guys for being so patient and supportive! I've gone and edited some of my earlier chapters and will continue to do so, I'm sure you all noticed there are several errors through the story I'd like to fix. Anywho, I do so hope you enjoyed it! Check out my Sabriel one-shot Lightning if you have a sec! I love you all!


	20. Flaws and Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and his Caregivers recover in the aftermath of Dean's episode.

"I haven't seen magic this powerful in a very, very long time. It's centuries-old, from the very first of the ancient Mayan civilizations, used to promote warfare. It's incredibly potent, but you have to be within a certain distance of it for it to work, which is why it didn't affect the three of you until Dean was sitting a few feet away from you." Rowena explained, wonder in her voice as she sat across from Dean and his three Caregivers.

Castiel looked at the burnt up remnants of the hex bag in front of her curiously as she poked and prodded through its contents. Most of it had burnt up beyond recognition. Still, several of the hardier ingredients in the center had stayed intact, which allowed Rowena to rummage through and figure out just what the witches had tried to accomplish. Dean averted his eyes; he'd chosen the farthest seat from the contents for a very understandable reason.

"What does it do exactly?" Sam questioned politely, glancing over at Dean every few minutes with a look of horrible guilt.

Rowena examined the contents of the bag once more before she lifted it to her lips and whispered a few words over it. The bag and its contents began to glow softly before her eyes widened, and she nodded thoughtfully, her curled red hair bouncing.

"Ah, just as I suspected. This spell is called the Ak'abo' Dador, or The Giver of Darkness. It's an incredibly tricky enchantment that empowers whatever the strongest dark emotion in a person is, in Dean's case, self-hatred, and Sam's case, betrayal. It emphasizes it instantly, making it grow several times more potent in a matter of moments. In Sam's case, it merely resulted in an outburst, the hurt, and anger related to the sense of betrayal he felt from Dean, however small at first, were instantly magnified by the hex, causing him to lash out."

Sam sighed in relief and understanding but internally cursed himself for being such an idiot. He should've realized that he would never get so upset at Dean without hearing him out first.

"Dean's case, however, was a far more elongated exposure. Though initially, his thoughts were only magnified, eventually, the caster, no doubt one of the stronger witches, was able to decide precisely what it is he thought. It wouldn't have taken long, perhaps an hour from when the spell was placed near him for the witch to begin speaking into his mind."

The Caregivers and Dean sat in stunned silence, staring at the witch in front of them who began to curiously turn the charred remains of the hex bag over in her hands, muttering softly under her breath. Dean looked down at his hands, tracing his fingers lightly over where scars had marred the flesh only a day before.

"How did the witch even manage to get a hex bag in here without us noticing?" Gabriel asked, his eyes glowing dimly as his wings puffed out in guilt and frustration, longing to go to his Little, who trembled as he clutched at his now healed arm.

Rowena glanced back up at the four people sitting uncomfortably across from her as if she had forgotten they were there. Gabriel looked at her expectantly, and she chuckled, shifting in her seat to look down at Gabriel.

"You underestimate these witches, Gabriel. You may be one of God's archangels, and that's all well and good, but you don't know witches. I know witches, and I know that they can become more powerful and stealthy than you could ever imagine. Most likely, this bit of magic here is a trace of a very, very powerful cloaking spell, not magic you've ever encountered, that allowed it to slip seamlessly through your warding."

Castiel eyes the burnt bundle still cupped in Rowena's hands suspiciously, sparing another glance at Dean to see he had resigned entirely into himself, deep in thought. Shifting his gaze to his brother and Sam, he noticed that they seemed frustrated and at a loss, openly staring at an oblivious Dean.

"Is there any way to protect Dean and ourselves against it?" Ca asked patiently, and Rowena turned to Cas with a soft smile, reaching into her satchel and pulling out her grimoire.

"Of course there is, sweetie. Give me twenty minutes and a few drops of blood, and I'll protect you from all manners of witches' magic." Rowena offered, and the tension in the room eased, Dean looking up at Rowena hopefully.

"Absolutely, whatever you need," Sam interjected firmly, and Rowena grinned.

"Lovely! Alright, let's get started then!"

******

"Thank you so much for everything, Rowena," Gabriel said sincerely, emotion quivering in his voice.

Rowena's eyes softened as she looked at the archangel, placing a gentle hand on his forearm comfortingly.

"Of course, Gabriel. Dean and I might not have always been the closest, but I actually like the lad. Call me if anything happens. I'll be keeping a lookout for The Coven of First Blood, and I promise to update you if I find anything of import. I'll be going now, boys. You have my number." Rowena said, and with a flourish, she was out of the door, leaving the three Caregivers and Dean standing awkwardly in the kitchen alone.

Dean couldn't look at any of them. He felt stupid, oh so foolish at not realizing he was being hexed earlier. He was a Hunter for Chuck's sake! But as he glanced up from his shoes to sneak a peek at the faces of his Caregivers, he could tell they were beating themselves up way more than he was.

Finally, he mustered up the courage to speak, though the moment he opened his mouth, he breathed in spit and choked a bit, immediately reducing him to an awkward, coughing mess. Castiel reached out to help him but quickly pulled back, everyone if the room looking extremely uncomfortable as Dean coughed for much too long.

"I'm sorry about that. I know this is a little awkward, but can we talk, please?" Dean requested timidly, feeling pathetic as he stared shyly down at his feet.

"Of course, Dean. Of course, we can." Cas said softly, stepping back over to the table as Dean followed, leading him over and pulling out a chair for him.

Gratefully, Dean sat, his muscles feeling oddly sore as he shifted himself in his chair. Smoothly, Cas sat beside him, keeping a respectful distance but close enough that if Dean needed help, he knew he could turn to him. Gabriel and Sam took their places across from Dean and Cas, the looks of guilt and discomfort on their faces making Dean's chest ache.

"I guess I'll start then; might as well get this over with," Dean said, clearing his throat.

"Sammy, about what you said. If it's true, I need to know now so I can adjust my actions accordingly." Dean said apathetically, doing his best to force all emotion out of his voice, and keeping his hands hidden under the table to hide how much they trembled.

A crestfallen look fell across Sam's face as the severity of what he'd said sunk it. The spell might've influenced him, but he'd hurt his Little. An offense that could get a Caregiver replaced, or even arrested. Yellow bled in his eyes as Dean stared at the table, the pain the Little was feeling evident in his stance.

"No Dean, no, of course not. I could never, _never_ hate you. I overreacted. I was so angry, I wasn't thinking, and I hurt you. And I'm so _so_ sorry; I love you so much. You're my baby. I'm so sorry." Sam choked out, glittering tears forming in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks as the enormity of the situation hit him.

At the sound of his brother crying, all of Dean's inhibitions flew out the window, his gaze snapping up to Sam's reddened face. Dean reached out a hand as if he was going to comfort him, then pulled it back, deciding instead to stand. In an instant, he was at his brother's side, pulling him up and out of his chair and into his arms for a hug.

Castiel observed Dean meticulously, making sure that he was completely comfortable, but when Sam's arms came to wrap around Dean, and the boy melted into Sam's embrace, smiling softly. Suddenly, Dean started sobbing, startling all of the Caregivers and jolting Cas immediately into action.

With a straightforward flick of his wings, Cas was by Dean's side, placing a comforting hand oh his back as he clung to Sam as if he was drowning. Sam struggled to adjust as Dean pushed him back, forcing him back in his chair and climbing up onto his lap, burying his nose into Sam's throat.

"Dean, sweetheart, are you alright?" Gabriel asked softly, leaning forward in his chair to look around Sam at the Little.

Dean squirmed further into Sam's grip, making frantic little whimpering sounds that put Sam on edge. He did his best to comfort the crying Little, but in the end, it was growing evident that he would just need to cry it out.

"I'm so sorry, Papa! Please, don't hate me!" Dean wailed, clawing at Sam's shirt and pulling it to his face.

Sam's face crumpled, tears beginning to glimmer in his eyes once more as he gently pried Dean's fingers from his shirt. Dean whimpered a bit after Sam pulled him away, but quickly quieted as Sam laced their fingers together, dropping soft kisses on his knuckles, and using his free hand to thumb away his tears.

"Oh, my little one. I could _never_ hate you. Shh, Papa's here, munchkin, Papa's here." Sam cooed softly.

Cas smiled as he kneeled down, running his hand up and down Dean's back in slow, soothing circles. Gabriel came to kneel beside his brother, both trying to get as close to Dean and offer him as much support as they possibly could. Slowly, agonizingly so, Dean stopped crying, and the tension, awkwardness, and guilt of the situation ebbed with it.

"There we go, little lamb. That's it; just relax. Daddy, Mama, and Papa are all right here." Cas murmured soothingly as Dean's tears began to run dry, his heavy eyelids drooping with the effort of trying to stay awake.

"Daddy..." Dean whined softly, the word slurring adorably.

"Yes, pumpkin?"

"I wanna cuddle."

Cas beamed brightly, standing slowly and using his large black wings for balance. Dean followed them with his gaze as they stretched out and fluttered, the baby immediately captivated by the iridescent black feathers. Cas chuckled as he scooped the distracted baby in his arms, letting him rest on his hip as he pulled him close.

"How about this, darling. Daddy will take you in the other room while Mama and Papa get lunch ready for us, then after lunch, we can all cuddle and watch TV, okay?" Cas cooed softly, peppering kisses across Dean's face as his instincts washed quickly over him, smoothing out his voice and making it sound almost singsongy.

In response, Dean giggled happily, bringing smiles to the face of his Caregivers. Smoothly, looking pointedly at Gabriel in a silent request, CAs carried a laughing Dean out of the room, tickling him mercilessly. The sound was so high-pitched and cheerful that Gabriel could've sworn he indeed was a child.

Well, compared to the archangel, he practically was.

With a soft sigh, Gabriel stood, his head slipping into thought as he placed his forearm against Sam's shoulder and rested much of his weight on the taller man. Sam didn't flinch, glancing at Gabriel before his eyes shifted to look out at the room.

Gabriel looked out at the room, his eyes taking in the evidence of their family, the once unhappy, serious Bunker now filled with life and magic, pink carpeting and brightly colored toys and blankets scattered messily across the room. His wings fluttered a bit as a sense of wistful nostalgia washed over him. A small, sad smile tugged at his lips, one full of regret and sudden realization.

"Gabriel, can I ask you a question?"

Gabriel looked down to see Sam looking up at him, studying his face intensely. When he met Sam's eyes, he saw an understanding there, a genuine curiosity and care that Gabriel hadn't seen in many, many years.

"Of course, Sam."

Sam could see it in his eyes. In his smirk. The sadness that only someone who lived as long as an archangel could. One that lasted for millennia, and that was caused by the eons. He could only imagine the sadness, the grief of constantly losing what you love, over and over, just because you outlive anything that lives on Earth. The Earth Gabriel called his home.

"Does it ever make you sad, Gabriel? The knowledge that you and your brother are just going to outlive this, outlive...us? Do you ever grieve?"

Sam watched as Gabriel's eyes widened minutely in shock, almost undetectable if he hadn't been so close. Then, the archangel's face softened, his smirk shifting into a genuine, sincere smile, something more human than Sam had ever seen on the angel's face.

"All the time, Sammy. All the time."

******

”No, Daddy, I don’t wanna go to bed!” Dean whined indignantly as Cas stood up from the tangled mess of a cuddle pile the CGs and Dean had formed on their far too small couch in front of the TV.

Cas chuckled at the frustrated tone of his baby’s voice, electing to remain silent as he scooped up the obviously overtired munchkin off of Gabriel’s wings that had been tucked around him. Dean huffed and struggled a bit, but quickly relaxed as Cas held him close, swaying softly as he hummed out a gentle tone. Sam has fallen asleep about an hour into their third Disney movie, while Gabriel laid trapped underneath the younger Winchester’s weight, looking helplessly up at Cas, who laughed gently at him.

”Where would you like to sleep tonight, huh pumpkin? You can spend the night in your crib or the best, whichever makes you the most comfortable.” Cas offered.

Admittedly, he was loathe to leave Dean alone after the events that had just taken place, but even in all of his mother henning, Castiel realized that it was important to let Dean decide this for himself. Having your control taken from you in such an invasive and violent manner made it important to recognize consent and boundaries, something Cas knew well from his experiences with Naomi and years of being explored by his higher ups.

”Is it okay if I sleep in my crib?” Dean requested gently, tugging Cas from his unsavory thoughts.

Though a pang of disappointment and protectiveness shot through Cas’s chest, he forced a warm, sure smile to his face as he looked down at his sleepy baby, feeling a wash of yellow swirl into his irises.

“Of course, baby. That’s always okay.” Cas assured, dropping a kiss to Dean’s head before carrying him to the nursery.

Cas and Dean were silent as Cas placed the baby on the changing table, quickly and as non-invasively as possible wiping him down and fastening a clean diaper around his hips. Dean was lost in thought, a haunting look settling into his face that caused a chill to run up Castiel’s spine.

”If you need me at all tonight, just say my name and I’ll be right by your side, okay?” Cas said gently as he tucked the exhausted Dean into his crib.

”Okay, Daddy.” Dean hummed, his eyes slipping closed.

Cas smiled slightly, a soft sigh escaping him as Dean’s breath evened out and his mind quieted. Carefully, as not to disturb his Little, Cas slopped our of the Nursery, just barely closing the door behind him. Cas started, however, as he bumped headlong into his brother, who he didn’t realize was standing outside of the door.

”Cas, can I ask you a favor?”

Cas turned to Gabriel, eyes widening a bit as he finally took in his brother’s appearance. Clutches tightly in his arms was Sam, sleeping peacefully as Gabriel awkwardly struggled to properly hold him without letting his feet brush the ground. What threw Cas off, however, was the tempered look of existential despair and crippling loneliness that rolled of of Gabriel in waves, his grace tugging desperately at Cas’s like a drowning man clinging to a life-preserver.

”Gabriel, what happened? What’s wrong?” Cas said immediately, wings flaring as he tensed for a fight.

”Can I sleep in the nest with you tonight?” Gabriel blurted our suddenly, and Castile lowered his wings, pausing as he looked at his brother oddly.

Gabriel’s gaze flickered away, his face flushing in the darkness as a tingling sense of humiliation flooded through him, feeling weak and silly for asking such a ridiculous request. At the sight of his shame, Cas’s gaze softened, and he placed a gentle hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

”Of course you can.”

Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

”Of course, Gabriel. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! How are you lovely lads, lords, and lasses doing? I'm so sorry this chapter took so goddamn long, it kept deleting itself and I would have to start over and over! Anyway, I hope you're all well! I also hope that this chapter helped clear up some of the confusion I know you all had over Sam. I think I'm going to add in another fluffy section before I get back into the plot-heavy chapters. I love the comments, and I'm so glad you've all been so supportive and happy with the story. More to come soon, kiddos! I love you all!


	21. An Important Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's Caregivers finally decide enough is enough.

Alright, my darlings! I got an overwhelming amount of comments on my last update and I seriously appreciate everything that you all had to say. I wanted to sit down and tell all of you why I took such a long break, and why I was so suddenly disheartened from writing this story.

Before I get into the sad stuff, I have some good news. I have the rest of the story planned out and I will be finishing at 26 chapters, and I will be most likely creating another story with this one that features different little one-shots from this universe. I have a bunch of cute ideas saved up and I'll be happy to take any requests for this universe you guys want to give me. This was a suggestion a bunch of you gave me and I'm very excited to give you all that you ask for, and what I want. Now, unfortunately, I have a sad story for you all.

Recently, I've been having some serious issues with my regression. I have always done everything I can and will continue to do everything I can to support regression. In no way did I ever think, nor do I ever think that there is anything wrong with regression, caregivers, people who regress, or even age play. People are welcome to do whatever they want and I am so happy this lifestyle makes so many people, including myself, happy.

I, Terry Pie, am a Little. Not only recreationally, but due to my plethora of mental illnesses. It's not something I can always control and it can often cause serious issues in my daily life around people who don't know. Recently, I regressed unintentionally in front of one of my closest family friends, and they reacted horribly harshly. They then outed me, while I was still regressed, to my parents and sibling, which was a horribly scarring experience. I immediately went into a horrible depressive episode and secluded myself from my family. I became totally nocturnal and started writing other, much sadder content in order to distract myself from what had happened. I began to hate myself for my regression, thinking I needed to start acting more mature and completely stop relying on others. This was a very unhealthy mindset and I want all of you to know that this is not the way to handle these feelings. 

Thankfully, I met a lovely lady, a few years younger than me, who showed me that it was okay to accept my Little side. Bit by bit, she's been helping me accept my regression and caring for me when I'm Little. She is my soulmate and I love her more than life itself. I want to thank her for everything that she'd done for me.

Now, as much as I'm doing better, that situation, unfortunately, my feelings on this story are clouded with trauma and self-hate. But, as a content consumer myself, I understand that these things help a lot of people, and make a lot of people happy. And that, more than anything, makes me happy. So, with the counsel of my therapist, and the help of my wonderful soulmate, I want to finish this project and get some real closure. 

Thank you all so, so, so much for everything you guys have said and done to support me. So many of you have reached out, so many have given me love and understanding and you all helped me through one of the hardest parts of my life.

You guys are my family.

I love you guys, and I'll see you soon.


	22. An Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An update!

Hello, darlings!

Alright, guys, I'm finally back. After the overwhelming amount of support from you guys, I'm finally ready to finish this story like I promised. This year has sucked for us all and I plan to finish it off with as much gusto and love as I possibly can. You guys have been such a huge part of my life and you all deserve to have this story finished. If you've loved this journey as much as I have, or if I have brought you any joy from reading this story even in hard times, I'd love to know. Every comment you guys leave, every kudos, every hit, shows me that there are a lot of things worth putting my time into, and this is definitely one of them.

I've had a blast writing this story for you guys, and I hope you've all enjoyed it too.

Let's go out with a bang, shall we?

I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, darlings! It is I Terry Pie, your favorite Non-Binary Age Play Fanatic. I just rewatched all of Supernatural and started reading a LOT of Age Play fics and recently read one I couldn’t put down, so I’ve decided to write my own! I’ll update when I can, sorry if its sporadic! I love you all!


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